Graduation Milestones by Konnie Enos

One of the last times I spoke with my sister we talked about all the people we knew who were graduating from high school soon, namely my son, but she also mentioned a special event for one of her nephews (on her husband’s side of the family). We hadn’t discussed these events before this conversation but I mentioned that my daughter and her husband, who live in Oregon, were arriving that weekend (this past one) to participate in my son’s graduation. She revealed her nephew's event was the same weekend.

As we discussed these events Bonnie realized that if she had a car available to her she could have driven down and made both events.

When I spoke with my daughter she told me her best friend, who now lives in Utah would be in Las Vegas at the same time because she was coming down for her sister’s high school graduation.

From what my daughter was told, her friend’s family would be arriving for her sister’s graduation as we were leaving from our son’s at the same auditorium where apparently all the local high school graduations are usually held around here on UNLV campus.

Now going to my son’s graduation I was remembering my own ceremony and considering how much time it took. If I am remembering correctly, my graduating class was under 500 students. Way larger than the small high school I’d attended in Idaho before we moved to Tacoma, Washington area but apparently not huge.

First of all, the floor of the auditorium and two sections of chairs set up, covering the area. I think about forty rows, with about ten seats in each section of each row.  So roughly enough seating for 800 graduates!

I have no idea if any of the schools in this area needed all those seats, but my son’s school filled a lot more of them than I expected.

As they started the processional the audience stood for them to walk in. About ten minutes later I finally gave up and sat down while they were still walking in. It took them nearly twenty minutes just to walk everyone in. Then we still had to stand for the posting of the colors, pledge and singing of the national anthem. The graduates had to have been on their feet in our view for at least half an hour and that doesn’t count the time they were on their feet lining up and waiting to walk into the auditorium.

What surprised me was the number of graduates.

The largest graduating class this school has ever had, 580 students.

Then I looked at all those empty seats on the floor and I wondered what schools in this area were bigger, requiring that many more seats?

My daughter kept telling me that graduations in this area only last about an hour, per her best friend. A young lady who was raised here and has been to other graduations in the area.

I told her no way was this going to last only an hour with how long it took for them to just walk in. I was thinking it was going to be at least a couple of hours if they did the traditional valedictorian/salutatorian speeches plus addresses from various school officials and the distribution of the diplomas. Yeah, it wasn’t going to a simple one hour event.

And the program details were an entire page long, leading me to believe we’d be there for a lot longer than the time we had since we did know the next group had to be in there in just a couple of hours.

Then the programed started, and seriously some of the parts were less than a minute. Others, even the traditional speeches were short, under three minutes. Not even the principal talked for longer than that. I think the longest talk was by the school superintendent. I think she about hit the five minute mark.

And to handle handing out those nearly six hundred diplomas as quickly as possible?  

They did it double. Passing them out from both sides of the stage at the same time.

We were still leaving after the next group was already arriving so there was a huge crowd outside when we left the building but we were done a lot faster than the three hours I thought it would take when I saw all those students and that program.

All things considered, I’d say these people are well versed on getting through a lot of graduation ceremonies as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Congratulations to all our graduates!

Now we have next May’s graduation season to look forward to. My youngest son finishes high school and my youngest daughter will earn her associates degree (she is already planning on furthering her education).

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Good Advice About Writing by Bonnie Le Hamilton

Sometimes when we don’t manage to write on any given day its because something came up. This happens to Konnie more than with me, but it does happen. None of us live on this planet alone. Life happens.

But sometimes we make the mistake of letting life happen, of letting life in the get the way. There could be lots of reasons, and I’m no expert on them since my biggest issue on not getting any writing done is my ADD, but I’ve witnessed a few things from my friends.

1.   They can’t seem to say no. They always have somewhere else to be or something else to do. They are constantly busy doing that something else.

This is a huge mistake. If you want to be a writer commit to it. Don’t let other activities get in your way. Learn how to prioritize. And yes, I know that isn’t easy, but if you want to make something of your writing you have to do it.

2.   They haven’t trained their family and friends to understand that this is important. Of course, that goes back to number one, you need to set aside time to write and make sure your family and friends know when that is.

So, if this is your problem, learn to say no. Learn to say, “I’m busy. Can that wait?” I once knew an author who spent her childrearing years writing non-fiction for hire and she had a passel full of kids while she worked from home but her list of published works is quite long.

How did she manage that?

Easy. She set a writing time and ENFORCED that time. She told me that she kept a damp cloth by her desk and if any member of her family came near her and interrupted her while she was writing, she grabbed the cloth and washed their face. Her kids learned quickly not to disturb her while she was writing.

The trick to this isn’t that cloth, but the fact that she didn’t back down, she didn’t relent. She told me they had to be bleeding or dying for it to be okay for them to interrupt her during her set writing time.

And that brings me to the third reason people have trouble writing.

3.   They don’t set a time to write.

You need to set a time when you are supposed to be writing. Let all your family and friend know this is your writing time, and don’t let them draw you away unless it’s a life or death situation.

(This also aids in the allowing the Muse to find you at an opportune time.) 😊

It doesn’t matter when or where you write, as long as you have a routine to write.

Now to solve that staring at the blank screen moment. That one’s harder, but there are some things that can help, and have helped me.

1.   If you are stuck on a project, move to another one, sooner or later the answer to your problem will come to you when you least expect it. It has for me.

2.   Try to relax. Fear and anxiety can be powerful roadblocks to the muse. Setting up a routine for writing will help with this, if you are used to writing at a certain time and a certain place, you will be comfortable and able to write when you are in that time and place. (And, of course, the muse will have an easier time finding you.)

3.   Remember that writing everyday isn’t limited to your WIP. Writing in journal is still writing. Writing to a friend or family member is still writing. Count those and put your mind at ease.

4.   When all else fails, pull out a kitchen timer and set it for ten minutes then stare at that screen or that blank sheet of paper telling yourself to write something. I have one such “stream of thought” where I started out writing that I didn’t know what to write and I was drawing a blank on any story, repeatedly, but by the time the ten minutes were up I’d started a scene to whole new a story!

I don’t know of a more powerful way to get someone writing again then by starting something new, because let’s face it, that blank screen moment could be the result fear, or the story isn’t working (been there done that), or you are just tired of that story right now. Sometimes you just need a break, not necessarily from writing, but from writing that story. And it’s okay to put something on the back burner for a while, start something new.

And Happy Writing Everyone! 😊

Meditation and Writing by Konnie Enos

In a recent conversation with my oldest son brought up the subject of meditating because one of his teachers made them do yoga as a means of de-stressing them.

He said he didn’t understand why mostly because part of the time she had them listening to a recording of a lady talking them through a meditation, noting that he didn’t even listen to it. Then he said, “I can never empty my mind completely because when I try story ideas start popping in.” He blamed this on ADHD.

I’m sure, from what Bonnie has told me, she’d concur with him. Based solely on the number of partially finished stories she has I’d say she is constantly bouncing from one story to the next. I’ve seen her work on at least two different stories at once to the point of putting the wrong heroines name in one manuscript because she’d been thinking about the other one.

She blames this on ADD.

I blame it on being a writer.

Why?

Because I don’t have ADHD or ADD.

My mind is always going and if it doesn’t have to concentrate on the task at hand it will be either creating new stories or working out the details in the one I’m currently writing. Even in my sleep I’m working on stories. Ask any writer and they’ll tell you of a story they got from a really good dream.

Unlike my sister, I don’t generally work on more than one story at a time. Although I do have several right now that I need to finish and or edit. I’m not usually writing in one and thinking of what happens in another. Unless of course, like a couple of my books, they have the same characters in both books.

My point is writers think differently.

A writer’s mind is always full of ideas and more come all the time.

I doubt it is possible to empty a writer’s mind completely because their characters will see the empty stage and come out to play. If you have multiple stories they might even contend for time. If none of your current characters want to talk to you a new one will rush out and ask for attention.

It’s almost funny how often new ideas come.

That’s why one of the best gifts to give a writer is notebooks and writing implements so they can always have something to jot a quick idea down on. The quickest ways to lose a story idea is to not get any part of it written down.

Though once you get even a few bones down you have to figure out if there is any meat to the story. Because without that meat, it isn’t worth writing.

I’ve lost story ideas because I didn’t get them written down.

I’ve discarded story ideas because some aspect of it didn’t seem plausible or it just wasn’t going to work.

I’ve stopped working on other stories because there wasn’t anything there to make a good story (the meat).

I’ve also left stories because I couldn’t figure out what happened next. This was because the characters weren’t talking to me. Without their input I couldn’t figure out what happened next or where I went off the rails. Those stories stalled.

Other stories I’ve got I’ve only been given a scene or two and I still can’t figure out how to make those into a full story. Of course, those characters aren’t talking to me yet, so no help at all.

I have one story idea that I dropped after trying to write one scene because I figured out I’d have to do a ton of research to do a proper job on it.

The stories that get somewhere, the ones I get to “the end”, are the ones were the characters start talking to me. They tell me who they really are and what their hopes are. Even what they are doing.

The best writing I’ve ever done was when I was typing out a scene I’d outlined for my story and one of my characters surprised me with something they said.

I went to delete it. I not only had not planned on putting that line in, I had intended not having that outcome in the story at all. However, before I removed it, I looked over what I had and thought about the character and the scene. It stayed. It worked. Sometimes your characters surprise you.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

The Worst Writing Advice by Bonnie Le Hamitlon

I think the worst writing advice I’ve ever been given is to write every day. I know some people who are yelling heresy right now but hear me out. I have several very good reasons why this is bad advice.

1.  Not everyone in the world has time to write every day. Some people have to earn their living by some other means and or have a busy family life. Or like me, can’t always concentrate enough to write. Not everyone has the ability to sit at home every day and just write. Period.

2.  Sometimes life gets in the way. Accidents happen, loved ones (or you) can get sick and require a trip the doctor or hospital. Stuff happens. Accept that.

3.  Finally, it isn’t the end of the world if you don’t write every day.

I view this whole “write every day” thing in the same vein as the adage about having a bowel movement every day. Until you’re feeling the urge but are unable to produce anything, you don’t have a problem.

That said, there is a reason people say you should write every day. And the reason is PRACTICE. That's right, practice. Writing is a talent, but it is also a skill, and skill takes work just like playing an instrument does. You can have all the talent in the world, but its worth diddlysquat if you don’t perfect it.

The hard part is to recognize first that it isn’t always possible to “practice” every day, and that sometimes just “playing the scales” is all you can manage.

To put that in a writing prospective, well, sometimes life happens. Even I have days where I don’t write a single word and I live alone. I’ve written about some of those times (think ADD). But I know other people have other things that come up. Konnie can relate a mountain “something came up” stories.

So, you didn’t write today. Its not the end of the world, or your writing career. You only have a problem if the non-writing goes on for weeks, months, or even worse years. In weeks or months, you are unlikely to forget the skills you already learned. While in years of non-writing, I promise, you could forget some of those skills.

I know this from experience.

I started writing in grade school and wrote consistently until I graduated from high school, then life took over and I didn’t write much of anything for 14 years.

After so many years of not writing, I’d forgotten a ton of grammar rules, and let’s face it, I was never very good at spelling – ever! (Thank God for Spellcheck!) When I started writing again I had to relearn the very basics. And once I got that down, I learned there were things about writing I’d never learned before; I’m still learning the craft of writing today.

But absolutely do not fret if it is just a day or two that you don’t manage to write. Don’t fret it if you skip one or two days of writing a week. You’re fine.

You do need start worrying when it goes on for month or longer but there are ways to combat that.

First you need to recognize what the issue is.

Some issues I’ve had with writing are:

1. The story isn’t working out in some way, needs work, and I’m not sure how to fix it.

a.  Set it aside, give it time, work on some other story, eventually (and yes it can take years) the answer will come to you for the one you’re blocked on, promise.

2.   You have let fear or anxiety get in your way.

a.   I know I’ve been there, it's hard and scary to put your work out there. We’ve all been there. You are not alone. Relax, take a breath, and start writing. If it helps, write about your fears.

3.  You have stupidly been reading something by a favorite author and have decided you will be NEVER be able to write like that.

a.  First, you can’t write like someone else. You have to write from the heart, ergo you have to write like you, so you will never write like your favorite author. You may be able to learn some tips from their writing style, but you still have to write like you.

b.  Second, comparing your writing to something already published is like comparing your everyday life to someone else’s highlights reel on Facebook. You have no idea how many stories she discarded or how many edits she went through before she got published. You are seeing her highlights and comparing that to your daily grunge. I'm telling you, no one looks good in that comparison. Stop doing it.

Happy writing everyone! 😊

The Handiness of being Unique by Konnie Enos

I reached my destination and grabbed my purse, placing the straps on my shoulder. Then I got my water bottle and my keys. All these things were on my right side so that is where they were when I got out of my car.

I walked into the building and up to a table where we were to sign in and receive a raffle ticket. Most people would empty their right hand to sign in.

Me?

My left side and conveniently empty hand was nearest the table. “Oh I’ll just use my left.”

The lady passing out raffle tickets said, “Well it’s legible anyway.”

“Of course. I’m ambi.”

And that’s not the first time in my life I’ve had to sign left-handed. Once I was in the ER and they had just stuck an IV in my right hand when one of the staff members asked me for a signature.

“Can my husband do it?”

“No.”

“Oh well, okay.” I sighed the paper left handed.

“This is perfectly legible.”

“I know. I’m ambi.”

I’ve heard of people who were ambidextrous, including one president, but I’ve never met any others.

Okay, technically, I’m the mirror of right handed Bonnie.

To this day I can remember our first grade teacher telling us to pick up whatever we were to be writing or drawing with and then getting on my case because I hadn’t picked up my implement up in the right hand.

I couldn’t understand how my hand wasn’t the correct hand to use. Was I supposed to use someone else’s hand?

That right and left business confused me for years.

Just try getting directions from me.

I’m actually pretty good at figuring my way around while my husband can get lost just turning a corner. I’d give my husband directions, as in turn right, or left, which ever direction I was thinking was the correct way, at the corner so he’d go to turn the way I said.

“That’s the wrong direction!”

“That’s the way you said to turn!”

“Well I said the wrong way, turn the other direction.”

Just pointing didn’t work because he had to keep his eyes on the road so we developed our own code. This-a-way means right (front passengers are on the right side in the car). That-a-way means left. Our kids grew up with this so they will give directions using these terms.

Our teacher did get my writing with my right hand but it wasn’t neat or very legible until I put a lot of practice into filling reams notebooks, over several years, just to get it neat enough to read.

Then out of curiosity I tried my left hand.

No practice at all and you could barely tell the difference.

Since then I’ve had people tell me a number of interesting things like I handle scissors backwards.

Uh? Oh, I guess I do. But handling them the correct way is awkward for me. I suppose if I’d ever been handed left handed scissors and been allowed to use them with my left hand I wouldn’t use them upside down.

I’ve also been told I use handheld can openers backwards, and in fact this is the reason I could never successfully use those tiny military openers. They relied on you turning one way to twist it around the can and the opposite way to get it off the can. I can only twist the way to get it off the can, not to open the can.

I’m a lefty in a right handed world.

I even had a doctor tell my I’m naturally left handed. He was a specialist in carpal tunnel syndrome and was doing nerve conductivity tests on both my wrists. He asked me three times if I was right or left handed.

Since I generally use my right hand I told him right, but when he kept asking I finally said that I was ambi.

Then he said, “Generally speaking the hand with most nerve damage is your dominate hand. For you it’s your left, that’s why I kept asking which hand was dominate.”

It was after this declaration that Bonnie and I even learned such a thing as mirror twins existed and what they were.

Funny learning about something and realizing you fit in that category. Then I found out my primary care physician is also a mirror twin. She’s the right handed twin.

But I think the most unusual thing of all is two of my five children are also ambidextrous. My youngest daughter and my youngest son.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.