April's Coming by Bonnie Le Hamilton

I can’t believe its nearly April already! Where has the year gone? And I have yet another grand-niece. Claire gave birth this past week, so yes, Konnie is a first-time grandmother, and there’s been a lot of other things going on here, but nothing so momentous as all that. I did manage to make some baby blankets and get them sent to Claire before her baby was born, just barely, which in and of itself is an accomplishment.

With me, finishing anything at all, let alone on time is an accomplishment. I tend to flit from one project to another, and since not all my creative endeavors fall in the category of writing, I haven’t been doing much of any writing, or editing, for a while. I have been knitting, sewing, and crocheting. The last two evident in the blankets I did send to Claire.

I’ve wanted to do some baking, just haven’t had the time when I had the energy to do it. (I’m blaming that on my age.)

And well, I do tend to get distracted easily, I’ve mentioned that many times before, but now I seem to have another excuse for why I don’t always stick to a task until its done, but sometimes I do stick to it (I do have 6 rough draft novels completed) anyway, my problem might be explained by an article Claire sent to Konnie (and Konnie later sent to me) about the signs and symptoms of WOMEN who are actually undiagnosed on the Autism Spectrum, and boy do a lot of those things describe me! You can find the article at http://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

Fair warning, it’s a rather long list. And it describes Konnie’s daughters too, which is why Claire sent it to Konnie. Claire had seen herself in the list, Konnie saw her twin and all her daughters in the list. One of the big ones was that such a woman has one of the forms of ADHD or ADD and are at lest mildly OCD. BINGO!

And that’s just one thing on that list that described me. Konnie insisted she saw more of me than any of her daughters in it, but it sure explains why her youngest daughter runs, skips, or walks up and down their hall incessantly. I’m the one who always has something in my hands to fiddle with, or I play with my hair or drum my fingers, or snack. There are other things I do. There seems to be no doubt about it.

And the first thing on the list was that such women quite often have average to high IQ’s; that’s me and Konnie's daughters. Meaning Konnie has four kids and a sister on the spectrum, not counting a niece, a nephew, and possibly a sister-in-law, that I know of.

And I’m already off track. I was going to talk about Camp NanoWriMo, which is in April (hence why I’m surprised its nearly April). Who has signed up for it? What’s your goal?

I’m going for editing 100 pages of Forbidden Connection. I really need to get that done.

Who’s with me?

And yes, I know editing isn’t writing. If this were Nano, I’d start or at least add to some unfinished story, but as I can set my own goal for the month, I’m editing.

To sign up, go to http://campnanowrimo.org/sign_in to sign up, and you can use your Nano username and password.

Anyone want to be in a cabin with me?

What are your goals for the month? What are you working on? Do you have a project in mind?

And one more note, do any of you have a story that includes April Fool’s Day? I know I have one, though I’m not much for jokes and stuff, and I only mention the little brothers of the heroine pulling pranks, but not what they are. Have any of you written a scene where the character pulls a prank, or joke on another character for April Fool’s Day?

I can personally say, that other than once trying to change places with Konnie (and that was on a dare) I’ve never pulled any April Fools pranks (something else on that list above). I have been accused of pulling April Fools prank when I wasn’t. The last time that happened my father accused me of doing so when I called and told him I was having twins on April 1^st. He told me to call him the next day and say that again.

Konnie took my side, knowing full well I wouldn’t joke about anything, let alone that! And I wouldn’t. I don’t joke, and I hardly ever get jokes. The people who can make me laugh are few and far between. And maybe I should write a character like that sometime.

Happy writing everyone!

The Stims by Konnie Enos

I honestly thought I knew what stimming was, but when my daughter started talking about it to me not long ago I found I was somewhat clueless.

You see, I can remember seeing shows where the young autistic boy was sitting and rocking or repeatedly flipping his hands back and forth. I knew people said that was stimming. I didn’t know it was only part of the picture and I should have because I have one child for sure one the spectrum and we suspect two of his now adult sisters as well. However none of them have ever done the “classical” stimming behavior.

So what is stimming?

Stimming is self-stimulating behaviors, usually involving repetitive movements or sounds.

From what I learned, nearly everybody stims in some way at some time. Biting nails, twirling their hair around a finger, drumming fingers, repeatedly tapping a pen or pencil, or constantly humming. Any habit your do to relieve tension, boredom or stress, often when you’re not aware you’re even doing it is stimming.

Usually our stimming behavior is not only harmless, but we can pick up on social cues when it’s annoying others, such as when we are drumming our fingers, and manage to stop. People with Autism don’t always pick up on the social cues and can’t easily stop because they use it to help process their environment in a way they can handle.

Remember I said my children don’t do the “classical” stimming behaviors. Well they have done things that are considered stimming behavior.

At one point my son was pulling out his hair to the point he had bald spots. My one daughter, among other things, bites her nails.

My youngest daughter, the one who brought this topic up? Well in this household we call our hallway hers. If she is home and not in her room studying or the kitchen cooking or eating then you’d better be cautious entering the hallway because she might plow into you. It’s a safe bet she’s there alternating between pacing, running and SKIPPING, up and down it, repeatedly, for hours sometimes.

As I stated, most people stim to relieve stress or boredom. There is the general belief those with Autism use stimming to decrease sensory over load, adapt to an unfamiliar environment, reduce anxiety, calm themselves, vent frustration, and/or avoid certain activities. My daughter says it helps her process information, in other words, her brain works differently. Which is the point. Autistic brains are wired differently, so they process stimulus differently.

Though why my daughter brought it up was because some people advocate the idea of stopping ALL stimming in those with Autism. I’m assuming the people who support this position feel stimming is a purely Autistic behavior and it sets these people apart from normal people and therefore to help them ‘fit in’ they have to stop the stimming.

When she mentioned this, along with a clear description of everything which constitutes stimming I had a very clear vision of me, as a young girl repeating a self-soothing behavior, one I did often without even thinking about it. My father detested me doing this and bopped me on the head, telling me to stop.

Guess what getting bopped on the head did to me.

That’s right. It stressed me out.

So my immediate response was wanting to do the very thing my father did NOT want me to do. In the end I usually left the room so he couldn’t see me. So he only got me to stop it in his presence.

I know Autistic people are wired differently but I simply can’t imagine forcing them to stop is going to have the desired effect any more than it worked on me. Plus I can’t fathom why you even need to unless their behavior is actually harmful to themselves or others or in some cases, IF they are high enough functioning to understand, when it is annoying to those around them. (That constant tapping or drumming can get on your nerves.)

When my son started giving himself bald in spots we shaved his head and pretty much kept it shaved for years. Now those bald spots have grown back and he seems to have outgrown that particular stim. We’ve encouraged my daughter in her efforts to stop biting her nails because she will chew them until she bleeds. Both these stims are self-harming.

Our youngest daughter?

We just tell anyone who visits to be careful in the hallway. It might be a bit annoying to have her going up and down the hall all the time, but she isn’t hurting anybody and we can all live with it.

Sometimes the best way to help people ‘fit in’ is to accept them just as they are. April is Autism awareness month, let’s spread the acceptance and love.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Time Crunch by Bonnie Le Hamilton

I’m not usually the one scrambling for a last-minute post, but this week has been hectic, at least for me. I know Konnie will say differently. Actually, I should have tried to write something on Monday as soon as my sister-in-law’s appointment got changed from Monday afternoon to this morning, but I drew a complete blank.

And I did try to write something yesterday. I started something, but that was before I got the news that one of our aunts had died. I had thought my day was going badly when I learned there was a school bond vote yesterday. One more thing to add to my already long “To Do” list. And yes, I know Konnie’s is way longer than mine, but you have to realize she doesn’t live alone – I do.

And with the death of our aunt, I have one more thing to add to my “To Do” list, the only thing is that lately whenever something comes up, something else has to go. Right now, I’m looking at the possibility of a funeral to attend on Saturday, and I already had four things listed on my calendar for Saturday, so something is going to have to go, I just hope I won’t have to choose between the funeral and the groundbreaking ceremony for the Pocatello LDS temple. Everything else on my calendar for Saturday isn’t important. I can miss them.

Priorities here. Clearly something as momentous as finally having a temple here in my home town is important, but so is family. At least both are right here in my home town. Konnie on the other hand is in Vegas, too far away to able to make it to the funeral because of distance and lack of money. Her “To Do” list hasn’t changed because of this death. She’s already expressed her condolences.

But see Vegas is a very long drive away from Pocatello where we’re from. Where the majority of our family is. I live where we grew up, and where a great many of our family still live.

When our grandmother on that side died, Konnie couldn’t make it. I lived just outside of town. The only family funerals I’ve missed recently, I missed because I was without transportation. I have a car now, which is why I’m in this spot.

It doesn’t help any that my sister-in-law was supposed to have her appointment on Monday, but she wasn’t feeling well, so it got rescheduled for this morning. Now it’s snowing – hard. So now something else has to be moved around.

I’m not having a good week here and mother nature isn’t helping. I had my regular doctor’s appointment yesterday, and there wasn’t any snow in the valley, now its blizzard conditions. What a difference a day makes.

Anyway, we all know sometimes things come up. Sometimes plans have to be changed, and there are always a few things that can’t be predicted or planned ahead for, and we all have to muddle through trying to adjust, I’m just wishing it wouldn’t happen so many times in the same week, and its only Wednesday!

But it sure gives me some ideas for a story, or two, on how to make things worse for my characters. Ain’t life grand?

To be honest, I rather not have so much happen all at once. Too stressful, but having one thing taken off my calendar for today helps. It just would have been better if that one thing hadn’t been moved from Monday. Now my “To Do” list for tomorrow just got longer, and I’m expecting company for dinner tomorrow.

And life just keeps throwing me curveballs.

Anyway, Happy writing everyone!

Mom Mode, Again by Konnie Enos

This is a busy mom three days.

My daughter needed to get to her classes by 6:00 A.M. Monday morning. This means I have to be up at five, get dressed and pretty much run out the door. I barely managed to remember to rouse my youngest son to remind him if he needed clean clothes for school he’d have to get up and deal with it.

After taking my daughter to school, I arrived home in time to get me breakfast, re-wake up my son because he still had to get to school, and feed all the dogs.

Then I had an appointment to get to which took all morning. When I got home it was getting lunch then doing the first of the month grocery shopping. By the time I had everything finished, it was well after dinner time.

I tried to do some first of the month paperwork but fell asleep before I could.

Rinse repeat.

My daughter still had to be out the door and too school by 6:00 A.M. I again barely remembered to even say anything to my son and totally forgot to turn off his fan which means he may have looked at me but he really didn’t wake up.

When I got home he was actually awake. Thankfully, though he was wondering why no one woke him up.

I fixed my breakfast and fed the dogs then set back to work on the first of the month paperwork. I actually had nothing else planned for the day. I might have been fine if mail and emails hadn’t brought a few problems my way. I worked on things all day.

After getting children home from school and eating dinner and finally getting bills paid, yeah, I sat down to work on my post.

By then it had to be after 9:00 P.M. I kid you not, I must have fallen asleep with my hands on the keyboard. The next thing I knew my dear husband was moving my computer off my lap and clearing the other things I’d had on the bed around me off of it. I’m sure it was late because he crawled into bed right after that.

I was so asleep I didn’t think about the post I still needed to write. I didn’t even check to see if my phone or tablet needed charged. I didn’t take one last trip to the bathroom. I just continued sleeping.

I woke up this morning to a very full bladder.

I knew my daughter was again up because her smallest dog was already in my bed. She wasn’t, however, in the bathroom. I hurried. By the time I came out, my alarm was going off, so time to get dressed anyway.

I turn of my alarm and see I really should have checked my phone last night because it is all but dead, like only 3% left. Not good. I need my phone. I put it on the charger.

Then I remembered its Wednesday.

No, I wasn’t thinking about my post. I was thinking about the fact my son wasn’t up yet and though I had reminded him yesterday I sincerely doubted he’d remembered it was garbage day. I woke up my husband letting him know I didn’t think anyone remembered to take the cans to the curb last night.

By then I noticed my daughter wasn’t coming out of her room.

She finally opened her door. “Mom are you up?”

“Yes.”

“Can you help me? I’m running behind.”

I walk over to her room. She hasn’t even begun to braid her hair yet. “Crap.” I really don’t feel like braiding her hair.

Fortunately she can handle it she just needs me to deal with some pet care while she does.

Anyway, while helping her, I nearly forgot to rouse my son, again, but we somehow managed to get out the door on time. Even better, that major accident on Southbound 95 right at the bowl, wasn’t blocking us too much from getting to where we needed to be.

The only thing I didn’t manage was write my post before I got back from taking my daughter to school this morning. Now I’m the one running behind.

Good thing I have nothing else scheduled today.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.