Life on the Spectrum by Konnie Enos

Not long ago I bought a case of spam and it was sitting on my kitchen table waiting to be put away. My youngest looked at it. “That’s going to annoy me.”

“What?” He simply pointed at the case so I examined it. Most of the cans had been arranged in the same way, making a clear pattern with the tabs. A few broke the pattern. “Oh. Yes, that would be annoying.”

More recently, I walked into the kitchen and found him making not one, not even two, but four hash brown patties. His reason? “I’m only having these and two just wasn’t enough.”

No, he did not consider having three. You see three is an odd number. Four is even.

See, for my dear son, things must follow the established pattern and things MUST come in packages of even numbers.

This is why he always cooks four hamburgers (he usually only eats two, two are for my husband and me) or makes two sandwiches. It must always be even.

Yet another incident. I was trying to pack my nebulizer with several individual vails of medicine. I told my son which bag he could dig some vails from. He handed me a fistful. I counted what I had and decided I should have at least seven more.

Son reached into the bag two more times, getting a few each time. I counted them as he handed them to me but I saw no obvious efforts on his part to count them. I told him how many more we needed as he pulled exactly that number out of the bag.

“I know that.”

“You’ve been counting?

He thought that was obvious.

I’ve lived with him for eighteen years and I’m just now beginning to realize his reliance on numbers and patterns, but it’s clear they are important to him in his everyday actions.

On top of that, he has an obsessive need to talk to someone about the shows he likes to watch, to the point of spoiling the story for anyone listening.

I know a great deal about all his favorite shows, which I’ve never watched because I’m his favorite sounding board. Probably because I’ll actually listen to him.

My son is also obsessed with technology.

I’m sure he knows more about computers than anyone else in the family. Something that is helpful to at least his senior citizen dad who has never quite gotten the hang of it. My husband is always asking our son for help doing something on his computer or phone.

It’s commonplace to hear my husband asking for help by saying, “Show me how to do this again.” He also regularly needs help with his passwords. I think our son knows my husband’s passwords better than my husband does.

My son has noted that, though my husband and I are the same age, I rarely need his assistance.

Another fun thing about my son is his need to show all his gadgets to strangers and talk incessantly with them. Someone comes into our house and he’s showing them all his tech and survivor gear and talking about his obscure bits of knowledge.

Not long ago he got upset with me because I told him to ‘leave us alone’ and ‘stop talking’. The gentleman my husband and I were talking to was here on business and I’m sure the conversation took twice as long as necessary because my son kept butting in with off the wall stuff he just had to share with someone.

Worse still, he has always had difficulty speaking in conversational tones. If you can get him to ‘whisper’, as he puts it, he won’t be giving you a headache just listening to him, but most of the time I have to remind him to talk quieter.

What I find both a bit laughable and really frustrating, is his insistence that he cannot read. It seems like a daily basis when he’s telling me he can’t read something, yet, on the same daily basis he’s on his computer and phone doing all sorts of things, all of which require him to read in order to do it.

Some days it’s kind of fun to watch his still childlike traits competing with his adult knowledge and skills. However, other days it’s unnerving to have someone so much bigger than I am reacting with such childhood innocence.

He is capable of taking care of himself, though now I have to convince him of that, my sweet, lovable oaf.

This is what it’s like living with a high functioning autistic young man. Of course, since no two people are alike, the autistic people you know may be completely different from my young man.

What stories do you have to tell?

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Talent by Bonnie Le Hamitlon

Okay, the first annual Snake Rivers Writers Conference is coming up in a couple of weeks, and Konnie is arriving, so she can attend it, in just over a week. I’m kind of excited both for her visit, and finally being able to attend a writer’s conference.

Though I’m not all that sure about attending either. I have been active in the online writing community for years, and I’ve met quite a few people who thought they could write a best seller without being much of a reader. They think writing is easy and a quick way to get rich. Neither of these opinions are fact, quite the opposite is true.

First off, writers are readers, period. End of discussion.

Second off, writing well is dang hard! Writing well enough to sell is even harder, and managing to write a best seller is one in a billion.

The market is saturated with people who think they can write, and too many of those end up self-publishing because, according to them, agents and editors don’t know a good thing when they see it. Which explains why I’m leery of self-published books.

That isn’t to say all self-published authors are garbage, far from it. Richard Paul Evans started out self-publishing his book The Christmas Box, and my niece L.C. Ireland is an excellent writer who self-publishes. Look her up, she’s on Amazon. She’s fantastic. There are others as well, but I find far too many of the self-published authors fall into the category of self-absorbed, self-important fools who can’t see past the end of their noses.

And they are totally unteachable. Refusing to learn about show vs tell, echo, redundancies, tags, beats, info dumps, and all the other rules of good writing. One or two think their rough draft is a masterpiece needing no editing whatsoever!

I once met a man who asked me to critique his first chapter of his novel, what he sent me was more like a synopsis of a series than a first chapter. Just for the information of all the nonwriters out there, a synopsis is sort of like an outline of events without bullet points, it is far from a novel.

That fellow blocked me after I told him my opinion of his so-called chapter, because, apparently, I don’t know what I was talking about and clearly, I’m not a good writer. (Too bad I don’t agree with his opinion!)

Another fellow I met absolutely refused to use standard formatting or structure, making his manuscript impossible to follow and understand.

And I’ve known several who told me out right that agents and editors don’t know a good thing when they see it. One tried to point out as his proof how many rejections a long list of best sellers got before they sold their famous novel. Excuse me? They eventually found an agent or editor willing to publish, all of them published traditionally. Just because some of the agents and editors didn’t accept those novels doesn’t mean all of them can’t recognize something good when they see it. After all, it is a matter of opinion what is good and what isn’t. And agents and editors wouldn’t get very far in this very competitive field if they couldn’t tell the difference between excellent writing and garbage.

By the way, I read an excerpt of that fellow’s manuscript, full of typos, telling, redundancies, echo. In other words, he was trying to pawn off a rough draft as a masterpiece! Talk about ego.

Actually, all of these fellows had way more ego than talent, which reminds me of a saying I attribute to a character in one of my unfinished novels. “The braggart has more ego than talent.”

And I’ve yet to see proof that isn’t true. Everyone I’ve ever known who bragged about themselves were never as wonderful as they put themselves up to be and everyone I’ve known who let their talent speak for them was excellent in their field.

Nowadays whenever someone starts strutting around, I avoid them. I’ve had my fill of people like them.

I once worked with a fellow who thought he was God’s gift to womankind, and strutted about the place in cutoffs and flipflops to show off his tanned, blond, muscular body. I was far from impressed with him, and that drove him nuts. All the other eligible girls he worked with were swooning over him. Young female guests at the lodge were swooning too, but it bothered him that I didn’t see him as all that special.

He had so much ego that he couldn’t understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and cutoffs and muscles don’t impress me.

Anyway, happy writing everyone.

The Perception of Being Busy by Konnie Enos

For years I’ve complained that my family will not leave me alone to write. They are always coming to me and demanding my attention. It’s always something and it always gives me the impression that they don’t consider me working, or doing anything important if I’m sitting on my bed, doing something on my computer.

Then this last couple of weeks every time I tried to read my scriptures or otherwise study our Sunday school lessons, someone interrupted me, then someone else and someone else, until I was either so distracted I got up and did something else (usually at the behest of my distractions) or I no longer had time to read because I needed to be doing other things.

The worst part is, I never got back to it.

I’d get pulled away for other reasons and at the end of the day I’d realize I never finished what I was reading. This happened, not one, not twice, but repeatedly over the last couple of weeks. And it wasn’t just one family member. It was all of them, my husband included.

I had gotten into the habit of getting up at six because nobody else got up until seven and that was just my youngest daughter. She’d leave me alone. So I’d have until eight or even nine to read, study, whatever I needed in peace.

Yeah, not working anymore.

My husband started getting up at five and my youngest has decided his sleep time is during the day and bedtime is about nine or ten in the morning.

I try reading at different times but if even one family member is awake I will inevitably be interrupted for some reason or another.

I will say a few times it was a situation where I needed to drop what I was doing. However, far too many of them were simply one family member or another wanting my undivided attention for some reason which was crucial to them, but mundane to me. Clearly not more important to me than what I was already attempting to do before their interruption.

Needless to say, I’m behind on my scripture studies.

I’m also behind on doing the finances, finishing my edits, and shopping for and/or wrapping gifts (some of them are for Christmas but I like to be done before Thanksgiving). There are also calls I need to make which aren’t getting made because of too many interruptions.

Even getting one of those she sheds won’t work because where mom is so therefore is the family. They would seek me out for whatever reason they find important, to them.

What I find interesting in all of this is I can’t interrupt them. When they are on their tech they are too busy with whatever they want to do to give me any attention and they will get upset if I dare interrupt them.

And my husband is the worst offender! I can’t even ask him a simple question.

With all of this going on I got to thinking about how we perceive the activity of those around us.

Yeah, when my sons are playing video games or watching some show, they aren’t actually doing anything important, but they still don’t want interrupted. It’s important to them.

My family can tell when I’m doing finances because I have so much stuff spread around me while I’m doing it. They actually know not to bother me unless it’s vital while I’m balancing checkbooks. But when I’m on my app to read my scriptures they just see me holding my phone. When I’m writing, they just know I’m on my computer, which I also use to get on Facebook. They use theirs for lots of mundane things. So they don’t see me as actually busy.

Then again I don’t see my husband as actually busy when he’s on his computer because for so long all he’s ever done on his computer was surf. The fact he is now trying to do other things on his computer is a new phenomenon.

So maybe the problem isn’t they don’t see me as busy, but they know they are not busy when they’re on their tech.

So the problem is I’m always on my tech even when I’m just doing my Sudoku’s.

Since they can tell when I’m doing finances, and will leave me alone unless it’s urgent, perhaps what I need to do is find ways to signify I’m actually busy and don’t want to be disturbed at the moment.

Maybe I should be reading my Sunday school lesson with my scriptures and the lesson manual open in front of me. And maybe when I’m writing I should have notebooks, 3X5 cards and pens scattered around me.

Do you think that’ll give them a clue?

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Titles by Bonnie Le Hamilton

This last week I was scrolling through Pinterest and come across a series of articles on book titles. One was all about rating and categorizing internet random title generators, but a couple of others had some good advice.

The best one (for me at least) was “How to Title You Novel” https://www.well-storied.com/blog/title-your-novel.  However, according to this article, a better title for my WIP might be “Mathias’ Dilemma.” Actually, it isn’t half bad. Too bad I love “Forbidden Connection” and only like “Mathias’ Dilemma.”

The other article “Naming Your Novel” is more about steps to take to discover the best title to use. Frankly, it sounds like a lot of work, considering all of my titles so far have either just come to me, or someone else suggested it. (More often than not it was a suggestion from someone else. “Forbidden Connection” falls into the latter category.)

Do I really have to go through all those steps?

Okay, I understand looking up your title choice online. Honestly, I do, but considering coming up with just one title is so hard for me, why do I have to come up with a list of them?

Please don’t make me!

I mean really. More often than not, I title my stories after the protagonist while writing the rough, and it isn’t until much later in the writing process when I come up with something different. Even then, some family member or friend usually comes up with something even better.

The fact is, most (not all) of my stories go through several title changes before I’m finished with them. “Forbidden Connection” included. If I do decide to change it to “Mathias’ Dilemma”, this would be the 4^th title I’ve used for this story. Which isn’t so bad. I have one or two which have been through something like six title changes each. I think.

I’d have to check my files to be sure, though I’m sure I have one story which has never gone through a title change. But that title is the story, they came together.

I have another which has only had two titles: my standard "name it after the protag" and the title several of my friends brainstormed for me to go with it. That’s not changing either.

But from my experience, there usually isn’t just one good title for a story, there are several. There is always a myriad of options starting with  using the protag's name, occupation, or what the other character’s call the protag. Or you could use the theme, the setting, or some important object or event.

There are so many options, and clearly some of those options won’t fit for every novel or even genre, but you get my point. Coming up with a title for a novel is frankly harder than naming a character.

Actually, way harder. And I’ve had to change some character names several times during the writing process, but mostly because I had too many names which looked and or sounded too similar to other character names.

I had the most issues with this in “Forbidden Connection”, as Konnie can attest to, because of my insistence it was vitally important to the story for the couples involved had the same first initial.

Yeah, I did it to myself.

It has worked out in the end, just had a few problems with four of the names, all of which started with the letter “E”.

For the most part, when I settle on a name for a character, it stays that name throughout the writing and editing process, unless I change my mind about it. I can think of once where I changed a character name because I heard a new name and liked it better! My prerogative! And totally acceptable.

In fact, I have one story where I gave the main characters bland common names to start, with the idea that I would change them later. I just wanted to start the story, get it flowing before I stopped to do some research on names.

On another story, I was having trouble finding just the right name for a minor, but important, character when my husband brought home a roster from a recent college football game we attended. I took one of those player’s first names and combined it with one of those players last names, and like magic I have the perfect name for the character which conveyed a lot about him without me having to tell the reader the information, which was race. Needless to say, I’m not a pro on African-American names, but that roster had a whole slew of them. Great resource by the way. Sort of wish I still had it.

Anyway, Happy writing everyone!

Life Happens by Bonnie Le Hamilton

Sorry to disappoint any of you who were waiting for Konnie's post this morning, but well, she ended up taking one of her children to the ER last night, and that same child has an appointment this morning. So Konnie is otherwise occupied being a mom.

Next week, I will post, since I generally don't have such emergencies interrupting my writing time which is the major difference between Konnie and me.

Happy writing everyone.

One more Wednesday by Bonnie Le Hamilton

I’ve tried a couple of times to start my blog post this week, but about all I can think of to talk about is the weather, and who wants to talk about that?

I guess I could discuss how different Konnie’s life is from mine, but I kind of think we’ve covered the subject pretty thoroughly. Konnie has five kids, I don’t have any, she has a house full of pets, I don’t, her husband is still alive, mine isn’t. And there is the fact that she lives further south than I do, which brings us right back to weather, and I’m not going there.

The next subject would be how busy our lives are, and for once, I can say I’m pretty busy. Few days go by where I don’t get out and go somewhere, I just wish some of those trips I didn’t have to make.

Like a recent trip to the ER.

I was trying to get some chores done when my sister-in-law called and told me she just spilled hot coffee on her leg. Dang. She lives about an eight-minute drive away, and I didn’t have my shoes on. Something even my sister-in-law could have guessed, because I was home, not planning to go anywhere.

Which reminds me of something that happened with my husband. We were eating breakfast one day, and talking about what we needed to do that day, which had everything to do with chores, and nothing to do with going anywhere, but as soon as he finished eating, he went to get his shoes and put them on.

“Where are you going?”

“Nowhere.”

“Then why are you putting your shoes on?”

He looked at me all confused. “We have chores to do.”

“Yeah, dishes, and sweeping, and vacuuming, not taking the garbage out. Why do you need your shoes?”

He just plan didn’t understand the question. As far as he was concerned, work needed done so he needed to be fully dressed which meant shoes. Me? I was a teenager before I stopped going outside barefoot, and I stopped because I injured my foot really bad.

Yeah, not risking that again.

Another time there was an occasion where Tom saw me putting my shoes on, and asked me where I was going, though more often than not he was apt to say, “Aren’t you coming? You don’t even have your shoes on yet.”

Yeah, I don’t wear shoes if I can get away without them.

I actually remember way back as a kid when stores and restaurants posted signs saying, “No shoes, no shirt, no service,” in an effort to stop people coming into their establishments so underdressed. Kind of like now when such businesses post signs about no pets allowed, and service animals being okay.

I guess each decade has its own big thing or trend, even when it comes to what sort of signs businesses put in their front windows. 

Of course, I’m old enough to remember way back when people MADE treats to give the trick or treater’s every Halloween. I mourned when those days ended by legal decree, though it wasn’t like many people were handing out homemade treats by the time the law passed. No one was. There was no use doing so when your effort would more than likely end up in the garbage. Absolutely no one would take the chance of it being tampered with.

And, for all you youngsters who don’t know, that’s when the fun sized candy bars came into being. Designed so families could give treats to more kids without spending mega bucks on full sized candy bars. Of course, now, they spend big bucks anyway. Well, at least they do if they live where they allow trick or treating, and the kids can find your place.

The first couple of years I was here, I had a handful of kids show up at my place, but none since, however, I think it has something to do with my porch light not being on until someone sets off the motion sensor. You can’t do it from the top of the driveway. The fact of the matter is, most people can’t find my place. They can find the building, but not my apartment, because it doesn’t look like the building can have more than the three units up front. I’m in apartment six.

People often think they are lost or at least took a wrong turn when they see there are only three apartments. Yeah it isn’t easy to find even though I live right in town. I always thought country homes were hard to find, not city homes. Live and learn.

Anyway, its time for me to get some editing done. Happy writing everyone.

Focus, Just Focus by Konnie Enos

For the last month I’ve felt like I wasn’t getting anything accomplished or was falling behind on everything, including this post.

I have, as usual a long to-do list and it seems to be getting longer each day. Most of the time I start the day telling myself I’ll do certain tasks then I go to bed realizing I never got to most of them.

All good intentions but I either get distracted by other things which need done or end up dealing with family members.

Yesterday every time I even thought about working on my post, which I hadn’t done yet, someone came in and insisted they had to have my undivided attention for a conversation. Most of the time I had little or no interest in the topic, which is about par for the course around here.

I couldn’t concentrate.

It took me several days and a conversation with Bonnie to figure out what I had to delete from the story I’m currently editing. (It’s too long.)

And every time I just think about doing anything, like paying bills or working on my writing, someone comes in and wants to talk. 

Normally I can continue working while convincing whoever is talking to me that I’m listening by occasionally nodding or saying things like, “Umm.” But lately, even when I was mostly tuning out the chatter I couldn’t focus on what I should have been doing anyway.

That may be because my family members have caught on to the fact I don’t fully listen to them because several of my recent conversation including them telling me to look at them, not my computer.

Really hard to get anything done that way.

Then there’s my dog.

She has always wanted to be near me but lately she’s developed the need to be petted and loved on, not to mention trying to climb in my lap. How much can you get done with a twenty-five pound dog trying to cuddle between you and your computer while wanting petted?

So important things haven’t been getting done because I can’t focus.

And while I’m complaining it’s been just this last month, I know it’s been longer.

For one, I usually start preparing for Christmas by March. I’ll first shop for gifts for my youngest son, whose birthday is in May. Getting his birthday and Christmas presents gathered at least a month before his birthday. Then I’ll work on the person in my family with the next birthday. One at a time until I’ve gotten everything before Thanksgiving.

Other than getting my youngest son his birthday present, just the week before, I haven’t even started shopping until this week. The next birthday is the end of this month.

Though at this point I’ve also gotten a present for the birthday next month now too.

Times like this really have me thinking about a place of my own where I can be uninterrupted because there is no one there to bug me.

Even then I know I’d want to be able to interact with others, just on my own terms and when I’m willing to do it. I think that’s the introvert in me.

And right now I should have this post up and be doing other things, like getting breakfast and feeding dogs but even without interruptions I can’t focus on the task at hand. I keep wandering to the unpaid bills and that story I’m editing. Or get distracted by the fact I’m not actually comfortable in this position.

And now I sound like I’m rambling. Maybe I am. That’s just about how things are going right now.

Just to prevent me from spewing nonsense, I’m going to end this post now.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.