The Subtleness of Verbiage by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

The other day, I was watching videos online and came across one in which a father talked about his daughter having had a math test that day at school.

Apparently, her teacher had told the class if they could answer just one question correctly, they would get an A without taking the test. Everyone wrote their answers down, folded the paper, and handed it in.

The father’s daughter did not answer the question correctly, so she asked him if he could. Then, she reiterated the question in more detail than given here, but it starts with a butcher with two kids and a wife and then goes into the weight of his family members. It ends with the question, “Now what does the butcher weigh?”

The father in the video looks at the screen, his expression seems to say, “How should I know!”

Without thinking, I responded, “Meat.”

Now hear me out if you don’t believe me that I am right. The question wasn’t, “How much does the butcher weigh?” but rather, “What does the butcher weigh?”

This is a bit ambiguous, but I was sure the story before the question was more a misdirect than a clue. Ergo, the butcher weighs meat.

And in a way, I am surprised I got it. I have never considered myself as clever as say, Hermione Granger, who figured out Snape’s riddle about which bottle contains what. I found that confusing as all get out. And hats off to J.K. Rowling for producing that.

Though wording does matter. It can make a huge difference. Understanding the subtleness of verbiage teaches you that wording changes everything.

Case in point, when someone prefaces a request with the words, “Would you mind,” in general most people will respond, “Yes,” when they in fact will grant the favor asked, but if you look at the phrasing of the request, and really think about it. It is clear the correct favorable answer would be, “No.”

A fact I have used against people on several occasions, twice this last week.

The first time I asked a young lady helping me clean my house, to get me a refill of water, using the aforementioned phrase.

Her response was of course the standard, “Yes.”

I responded, “You would!” with as shocked an expression as I could muster. She didn’t seem to understand what I was saying and just took my mug to refill it.

Now, Monday night, my cousin Steve was over to visit, and I’d received a rather heavy package at some point during the day and I asked him if he would mind bringing it in for me.

He did respond with the standard, “yes,” but when I retorted with my shocked, “You would!” he chuckled and said, “Okay, you got me there!”

He is the first person to ever respond that way when I’ve done it, and I’ve done it a lot.

I am also correct. If you would not mind doing the favor, the correct response is no, not yes.

That is the subtleness of wording, which is what makes writing so hard. Ambiguous wording makes the text stronger or the mystery deeper, but it could also lead the reader astray. Finding just the right word can be extremely difficult. Especially if you have innate issues with spelling.

In point of fact, I spent several minutes trying to figure out the correct spelling of “subtle.” I knew it was the root of the word I needed, but I didn’t know how to spell it!

Most of the time when this happens, I can think of another word that means the same thing and find the word I am trying to use via the thesaurus on my computer. However, that doesn’t always work. Sometimes because there is no other word or because, I picked a word for which that similar meaning is obscure and not in the thesaurus, making me doubt what I remember of etymology.

And for those of you who don’t know, etymology is the history of a word. It is its root, origin, and current and original meanings.

Etymology is why I excelled in my college class, “Concise Business Writing.”

Something I think I have mentioned before. It was in that class that the professor asked us to reduce a Cossel quote to as few words as possible. I did not use my Etymological dictionary for that assignment. I didn’t need it.

However, I admit it wasn’t because I knew the etymology of all those words in the quote. It was because of an earlier incident involving our big sister, nicknamed Dictionary.

But anyway, I aced the assignment!

Happy writing everyone!

Snow or No Snow by Konnie Enos

Okay, Sunday afternoon, with nothing better to do, I was scrolling through the internet and Facebook looking for something interesting to read/watch. One headline grab my attention immediately.

It screamed about unexpected and early heavy snowfall in parts of Las Vegas. It even mentioned road closures and the snowplows having to get out because of how much fell.

Huh?

One, snowfalls in Las Vegas are unexpected no matter the time of year and I wouldn’t call them heavy. A skiff of snow is a huge amount around here. And since we don’t get even inches of snow I sincerely doubt we have any snowplows.

Two, I don’t think we’ve had any measurable precipitation for a couple of weeks and even if we had it would have been rain because while our temperatures have dropped, they are still not low enough for snow.

So, thinking this is a hoax or something, I decided to Google “recent snowfall in Las Vegas, Nevada. And yes, I did type in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Several articles about this recent unexpected snowfall came up.

So, now I’m thinking this “parts of Las Vegas” is outlying areas with somewhat higher elevations than the main part of this rather large valley. But none of what I read gave me a clue where it was.

I told my husband about it, and he said that it couldn’t have happened because there is no snow accumulating on any of the surrounding mountains. Which tracks with the no recent precipitation and temperatures too warm for snow.

I look further into the various articles I found and even took the step to retype my question, so I was sure I was getting only local news.

Then I did find a clue. One of the articles had pictures of more than just snow completely covering a car. It actually had street signs, and I could read one of them.

Another problem. Commerce Street isn’t far from here and most decidedly not in an outlying area more prone to snow.

I’m still confused.

I investigate further and found a recording of a news cast about this record early snowfall. I don’t recognize anything about the background on the set or the person giving the news, but I don’t watch the local news anyway.

At this point I realize that I have heard of other places named Las Vegas, but I was under the impression that they were all very tiny places, and this is showing a good-sized city.

So, still not helping.

Then I noticed something in the video. A brief look at a sign that said Las Vegas. After the report had moved away from the sign, I realized that there had been words below Las Vegas which might identify which section or subdivision of Las Vegas that it was in.

I therefore made efforts to get my computer to cooperate and rewind the recording so that I could pause it on that sign and read the rest of it. My first attempt I got back to just before the sign but didn’t pause fast enough to read it.

I made a second attempt but went back further in the recording. This time I was able to pause it with the sign fully in the picture frame.

I was right. The additional words clearly clarified where this snowfall occurred.

It was in New Mexico. Geographically we seem to be on the same longitude, but I assume they are at a higher elevation since they do regularly experience snow.

This whole thing got me wondering how many places there are in the U.S. named Las Vegas. I did a Google search, but it only came up with four. Nevada, New Mexico, Texas and I’m assuming the other one is Puerto Rico, based on where it’s tagged on the map.

The thing is, I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more places in the U.S. named Las Vegas than those four.

Why?

Because I’m positive there are a vast number of small communities, almost not even there towns, that are named after larger, far more well-known places.

A Google search for towns in the U.S. named Portland will tell you that there are ‘more than 30’ in the U.S. A similar search of the name Salem would get numbers close to that. And that list doesn’t include small communities like where we once lived in Salem, Idaho. Probably because they aren’t big enough to show on most maps. So, I’m assuming the numbers aren’t accurate.

Though I am wondering why I was getting news for a town in New Mexico. Especially since I did specifically asked for the news here. Maybe, I have the location tracker turned off.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Humor and Me by Bonnie Le Hamilton

To start with, Konnie asked me to write something humorous this week.

My response: Excuse me?

“Well, you’ve done it before.”

“I have?” Really?

You see, I haven’t got a sense of humor. I never have.

 I am on the spectrum. Not that I knew that growing up. Clearly, I didn’t because when we were growing up Autism was something that only white BOYS got. Definitely, not me.

There were plenty of clues, and I know I’ve mentioned some of them that were dismissed because of other circumstances, like my being slow to speak English. Konnie and I used what is called twin speak for a long time.

Anyway, there were several clues that were explained away, and one clue was my lack of a sense of humor.

I have a clear memory of the first time I watched Star Trek, the original series. I was empathetic with Spock and his inability to comprehend jokes. He was totally literal and logical. I got that!

For a short while, I even wished I was a Vulcan and wondered why I wasn’t.

I do not get jokes.

Case in point: way back in sixth grade, a male classmate came up to me on the playground and asked me how long my hair was and if it was curly or straight. I couldn’t understand such a stupid question, and in answer, I kept indicating my hair which he could obviously see. He repeated the questions a couple of times and seemed to get annoyed that I kept indicating the hair on my head.

Finally, he started to walk away but his parting shot was that Konnie had told him her hair was about a foot long and straight.

Yeah, I was still confused because that was obvious. I was even more confused when he put his hand down around his knee and chuckled, saying something that I never really caught at the time.

I stood there for a couple of minutes after he walked trying to figure out what was wrong with this fool, then I realized what he said as he walked away laughing.

Oh.

Okay, that was not funny; it was just gross. And right up the alley for an immature pre-teen male.

Plus, I can remember as a teen our family watching a show called Star Search (think of it as a variation of America’s Got Talent). This show has several categories and each week the winner from the week before went up against a new challenger. There was a point when a winner would be “retired” from the show if they won a set number of weeks in a row.

Well, there was a comedy section, and they did stand-up comedy routines.

My family, Konnie included, began determining who won each week by how much I laughed.

Let me be quite clear that I usually would only occasionally snicker; full belly laughs were uncommon. Still are.

One fellow could get me rolling on the floor laughing so hard.

Yeah, hands down he won. No contest. He ended up getting “retired” from the show.

I’m just sorry his acting career didn’t go off as well. He was funny, but he didn’t write the scripts for the movies he was in. I mean “First Kid” was okay but wasn’t anywhere near as funny as he was in his comedy routine.

And I’m not saying he couldn’t act, it was a good movie, but not roll-on-the-floor laughing.

And that isn’t the only instance when I didn’t get the joke.

You know that one about the elephant in the pajamas? I still think that one is ridiculous. And I generally groan over puns.

I can remember our Dad telling jokes and I’d look at him and say, “That doesn’t even make sense,” or try to tell him why what he said wouldn’t happen or couldn’t be, you know, logically which always got the rest of the family laughing uproariously.

And remember what I said about empathizing with Spock? Let me tell you my other favorite characters from the Star Trek universe.

Data, The Doctor (Voyager), and Seven-of-Nine.

See what they have in common?

Yeah, they are all logical.

I’m not saying I can’t be humorous. I clearly recall an essay I wrote in college that had the professor chortling. His assignment was to write a “how to” paper, and it had to be something we knew how to do well.

Trying to be original, I decided to write how to change a diaper on a kid who crawls inchworm-like on her back.

Believe me, Konnie and I had plenty of experience with that thanks to our oldest niece.

But funny? Naw, not me. I was just saying it like it was. I still am.

I don’t get humor.

Anyway, happy writing everyone!

 

Of Overkill and Negativity by Konnie Enos

I don’t know about anybody else, but I’m getting rather fed up with all the texts, phone calls, flyers and visits bombarding us right now.

Every single day I get at least a handful of texts and a stack of flyers in the mail. We’ve had multiple phone calls and visits from people trying to do surveys or straight up extolling the virtues of their candidate most weeks. We are being blitzed with it.

Granted, it is such an extreme amount because there are six adults registered as voters at our residence. Never mind that two of those no longer live here. And my daughter says she’s still getting texts addressed to my oldest daughter about her voting options. My daughter who hasn’t had this as her legal address for about a decade, and it’s been longer than that since she gave her old phone, and number, to her little sister.

But seriously, why would any one household need two or three copies of the exact same flyer mailed to their house at least weekly for two months. I’m not kidding. I glance through the stack of mail we get each and every day and I’ll find duplicate flyers. One or more will be addressed to a specific voter while another one will be addressed to “Current Resident”. A few have been addressed to both my second born (who no longer lives here) and my third born (who does). (Oddly enough, those are the only two that are ever combined.)

Though, that is not my point.

My point is that we don’t need reminders every single day, from multiple sources that it is an election year or that we need to place our vote. Let alone all the daily reminders of who exactly is running for which positions.

I also detest how these flyers are worded. I kid you not when I say that most of them are diatribes against their opponents that say very little about the candidates themselves. I saw one were it went into detail listing all the legal issues one opponent had, plus one legal problem another one had yet did not say a single thing about the candidate the flyer was from.

Guess which candidate I refused to vote for.

If all you can do is sling mud at your opponents and not bother to tell me your platform then you are not getting my vote even if you are the most experienced and sensible candidate.

Unfortunately, it appears that most people running for an elected office of any kind seem to think that the only way to get votes is to sling mud. I don’t think we’ve received a single flyer that only stated the candidate’s viewpoint and platform.

I think the mud slinging is what I’m most sick of.

Why can’t we have candidates who only state their platforms and why they personally are the qualified for the position? Why do we have to have every candidate, even for the local city and county positions, slinging mud instead of stating their own qualifications?

I can remember the very first election I was qualified to vote in.

There were five registered voters in our household. There were no flyers in our mail every single day. There were no constant phone calls about voting. There were ads on TV and in the local papers, but they were not overwhelming and most of them simply stated their own platform. (I do remember a few that were slinging mud, and they irritated me then too.)

I’ve also lived in this house for nearly 20 years. Granted, only the last 16 years have had more than my husband and I as registered voters in this house, but I still don’t remember the complete blizzard of flyers in previous election years.

This constant bombardment and all this negativity is not pleasant and can completely turn people off of the whole process of voting for who will be running our government for the next few years. I know it’s turning me off.

Election years should be only about providing accurate information on the platforms and qualifications of the candidates and should never be about candidates throwing accusations and digging up dirt on their opponents.

If I could craft the perfect election year the candidates for any and all offices would be given specific dates, times and places where they could address the voting population with who they are and what their platform is. I would also censor any attempts at slinging mud including not allowing any debates since that would present opportunities for candidates to ridicule their opponents.

Basically, I’m just sick and tired of the negativity. Why can’t this process be more civilized?

I can’t wait for this to all be over next week.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.