Of Being Twins by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

Not too long ago I saw a video of a woman with infant twins going out in public on several different occasions and being bombarded with the question, “Are they twins?”

And it got me thinking. I myself had a set of twins at one point in my life and I certainly went out in public with them, yet I don’t recall anyone asking me if they were twins.

I can remember one trip out shopping with Konnie and all our children at the time, but I don’t remember asking if the pair in the infant seats were twins. I do remember a child saying (while pointing in our direction), “Mommy, look! Twins!” And the mother glanced in our direction briefly and told the child there was more one set in our group.

Actually, we turned tons of heads that day, but no one stopped us asking us any questions or just to chat. All we saw was a lot of people doing the classic double-take.

I myself have stopped to chat with moms of twins at least a time or two when I spot them out shopping, but I have never asked if they were twins. I have commented on how cute or tiny they were and mentioned what a load of work two such tiny beings are I have never asked if they were twins.

I do recall once when I spotted a couple of toddlers who were very close in size, but I was unsure if they were the same age, so I approached her and commented on how close they were size and said something to the effect of trying to gauge their ages, but I did not at any point ask if they were twins. I do recall that conversation, they were twins, and I looked them over again (a couple of boys) and said, “Fraternal of course.”

She looked me right in the eye and said, “You have experience with twins.”

“I am one actually, identical.”

I do recall one time (and I think I’ve mentioned this before) when I was at a family reunion. I had my twins in their stroller, my one cousin was there with her then teen twin daughters and one and a half sets of first cousins once removed were in the group too. We were discussing where the other twins in our family were when a couple walking past us looked us over and said, “What is this a twin convention or something?”

“No, just a family reunion.”

They didn’t ask if my infant daughters or my cousins teen daughters were twins, and that one set of female cousins were identical too, so it was clear we were a cluster of mostly twins, two moms, and one extra. Since Konnie had not arrived yet nor was the twin sister of that one cousin in attendance, those ladies had no way of knowing the only one in that group who wasn’t a twin was my cousin with the teen daughters.

The only thing is we were standing just feet away from the parks shelter where the rest of our family were gathered and setting up. There wasn’t one twin in the shelter. We had all gathered to one side to discuss where our missing twins were.

Of course, Konnie did show up with her family a few minutes later.

And yes, twins do run our family. Big time.

But, again, I never once had anyone approach me and ask if my two daughters were twins. Konnie and I rarely had people approach us when we were out in public together to ask if we were twins. So, I don’t understand that video I saw on social media this past week at all.

Or have people become bolder, or maybe more inclined to ignore polite boundaries as in the past, or if that video was a lie.

I mean I have approached a mom of twins a time or two to chat with her, but I, like I already said, I never ask if their children are twins, I general comment on being a twin myself.

I can recall one time being approached by someone who did ask a question, but he didn’t ask if we were twins. He said, “You two look a lot alike, are you sisters?”

I know that is how he started the conversation because I remember thinking that was the dumbest question anyone could have asked us! You see, it was the middle of the school year, and it was our first day on that bus because we had just moved over the weekend.

So, since there was only one new family on that route, and we were sitting together looking so much alike, it seemed logical, at least to me, that we were indeed sisters. And I have mentioned this incident before. So, I’m going to just end here.

Happy writing everyone!