Humor and Me by Bonnie Le Hamilton

To start with, Konnie asked me to write something humorous this week.

My response: Excuse me?

“Well, you’ve done it before.”

“I have?” Really?

You see, I haven’t got a sense of humor. I never have.

 I am on the spectrum. Not that I knew that growing up. Clearly, I didn’t because when we were growing up Autism was something that only white BOYS got. Definitely, not me.

There were plenty of clues, and I know I’ve mentioned some of them that were dismissed because of other circumstances, like my being slow to speak English. Konnie and I used what is called twin speak for a long time.

Anyway, there were several clues that were explained away, and one clue was my lack of a sense of humor.

I have a clear memory of the first time I watched Star Trek, the original series. I was empathetic with Spock and his inability to comprehend jokes. He was totally literal and logical. I got that!

For a short while, I even wished I was a Vulcan and wondered why I wasn’t.

I do not get jokes.

Case in point: way back in sixth grade, a male classmate came up to me on the playground and asked me how long my hair was and if it was curly or straight. I couldn’t understand such a stupid question, and in answer, I kept indicating my hair which he could obviously see. He repeated the questions a couple of times and seemed to get annoyed that I kept indicating the hair on my head.

Finally, he started to walk away but his parting shot was that Konnie had told him her hair was about a foot long and straight.

Yeah, I was still confused because that was obvious. I was even more confused when he put his hand down around his knee and chuckled, saying something that I never really caught at the time.

I stood there for a couple of minutes after he walked trying to figure out what was wrong with this fool, then I realized what he said as he walked away laughing.

Oh.

Okay, that was not funny; it was just gross. And right up the alley for an immature pre-teen male.

Plus, I can remember as a teen our family watching a show called Star Search (think of it as a variation of America’s Got Talent). This show has several categories and each week the winner from the week before went up against a new challenger. There was a point when a winner would be “retired” from the show if they won a set number of weeks in a row.

Well, there was a comedy section, and they did stand-up comedy routines.

My family, Konnie included, began determining who won each week by how much I laughed.

Let me be quite clear that I usually would only occasionally snicker; full belly laughs were uncommon. Still are.

One fellow could get me rolling on the floor laughing so hard.

Yeah, hands down he won. No contest. He ended up getting “retired” from the show.

I’m just sorry his acting career didn’t go off as well. He was funny, but he didn’t write the scripts for the movies he was in. I mean “First Kid” was okay but wasn’t anywhere near as funny as he was in his comedy routine.

And I’m not saying he couldn’t act, it was a good movie, but not roll-on-the-floor laughing.

And that isn’t the only instance when I didn’t get the joke.

You know that one about the elephant in the pajamas? I still think that one is ridiculous. And I generally groan over puns.

I can remember our Dad telling jokes and I’d look at him and say, “That doesn’t even make sense,” or try to tell him why what he said wouldn’t happen or couldn’t be, you know, logically which always got the rest of the family laughing uproariously.

And remember what I said about empathizing with Spock? Let me tell you my other favorite characters from the Star Trek universe.

Data, The Doctor (Voyager), and Seven-of-Nine.

See what they have in common?

Yeah, they are all logical.

I’m not saying I can’t be humorous. I clearly recall an essay I wrote in college that had the professor chortling. His assignment was to write a “how to” paper, and it had to be something we knew how to do well.

Trying to be original, I decided to write how to change a diaper on a kid who crawls inchworm-like on her back.

Believe me, Konnie and I had plenty of experience with that thanks to our oldest niece.

But funny? Naw, not me. I was just saying it like it was. I still am.

I don’t get humor.

Anyway, happy writing everyone!