Of Memories and Birthdays by Konnie Enos

Recently, I saw an article about the events in our life that we remember clearly even as we age. The point of the article was the more things we remember clearly, the better our memory is overall.

Now I think I have a pretty good memory, and I remember a lot of events from my childhood at least vaguely. Though, I expected to the article to mention specific national news events which most people who lived through them will remember.

Things like the moon landing, walking on the moon. I know it happened, but I have no actual memories of watching it on TV. Though I have to admit I was still pretty young at the time. I was even younger when the Cuban Missile Crisis and JFK’s assassination occurred, so I have no memory of either event.

Though the events in the article were mentioned in broader terms and were personal events rather than national news. Things like the first day of school. Your best friend from grade school. Your first date or kiss.

I have no memory of going to school on my first day of school, it made no impression on me. I do remember our first teacher constantly telling me I was picking up my writing implement with the wrong hand, a lot. I finally learned to only use my right hand for that activity. Of course, I also remember all my teachers complaining about my sloppy handwriting. That is until I started spending my summers filling every leftover notebook I could find practicing my penmanship. (All this was before I figured out that I should have been using my left hand all along.)

As for best friends, we moved so frequently and changed schools so often that I can barely name three friends from grade school. Though one of those I only remember his face and first name. One was actually Bonnie’s friend and again only her first name. The third? I was twelve when we met, so far easier to remember. I also still remember my best friend from 8^th grade, but we’re also still in touch and both grandmas now.

I do remember my first date, even the movies we saw. Song of the South and The Aristocats. I also remember my younger brother watching us and my date disappearing halfway through the first movie. I found him talking to my brother and sister. After I joined them there, he disappeared entirely. Just left. His mom was supposed to give me a lift home, but he was already long gone. I had to go home with my brother and sister, but I don’t remember if Momma picked us up or her husband at the time. That was the last date I had until I was in college so remembering my first kiss was even easier.

The events I remember the clearest are the ones that made the biggest impression on me. I vaguely remember inviting friends to our 8^th birthday party. The party itself is far more memorable since it turned into something of a block party. It was the largest party we ever had.

I also remember our infamous 6^th birthday. From the plants falling on me to Bonnie opening two of everything.

The article also mentioned the Bicentennial and I do remember snippets of those events. Parts of the parade and the party in Ross Park, but I did turn 14 that weekend.

There were other things mentioned in the article that didn’t bring any memory for me, not even the events I knew had to have happened at some point in my life. They just didn’t make a lasting impression on me.

So according to that article, my memory isn’t that good. But I beg to differ. Most of the specific memories they mentioned did not make a lasting impression on me, but I do have lasting memories, some from when I was no more than three years old. True, the older ones are just snippets here and there and the details, names, dates, etc. are vague. The feelings are not through, I remember those. The stronger the feelings from the event, the more likely I am to remember more details.

Things like seeing Grandpa Westover for the last time or waking up Christmas morning with strangers in a strange house. (Both happened before I was five.)

But being the first week of September, and so close after Labor Day, the one memory that I’m thinking about today is the one I so eloquently spoke of in my post of September 2017 “Of Holidays and Other Memories”. And today just happens to be the date Labor Day fell on that year. So 46^th Happy Birthday, Dan.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Of Birthdays and Holidays by Konnie Enos

 

Recently I saw a post where someone asked us to “imagine having a birthday within 2 weeks of Christmas.” Just think about having a birthday anywhere from December 11^th to January 8^th.

Well, that got me thinking.

I know a lot of people with birthdays in that period. I even know some people with birthdays in the first half of December who had complained about having their birthdays overshadowed by Christmas. The most common complaints were getting birthday gifts in Christmas-themed wrapping paper and or receiving just one gift to represent both events. This was particularly bad when it was relatives who gave their siblings two gifts a year, one for each event.

When I learned the due date for my fourth child (oldest son, Tony) all the information I had about December birthdays came back to me. But I had one as yet untapped resource, My cousin was born three days after Christmas, hence the same week my baby was due.

I had an enlightening conversation with my favorite aunt (said cousin’s mother).

She mentioned not only the two complaints mentioned above but also some family and friends who completely ignored that my cousin had a birthday. Yes, he experienced this, and yes, he noticed.

I took note. I even put my foot down. I told my family members they had to treat all my kids equally. Either they gave all of them both a birthday and Christmas gift or gave them one or none. But they could not give my other kids gifts and not my December baby. I wasn’t going to tolerate them overlooking one kid’s birthday just because it was close to Christmas.

I also told them I preferred that birthday gift not be in Christmas-themed wrapping paper. This meant that I could not use Christmas wrapping paper for birthday gifts. Now, as a rule, I could not afford a lot of wrapping paper so I wrapped most of my children’s birthday gifts in groceries bags.

However, one year I did find some birthday-themed wrapping paper and started using that. I ran out just before I needed to wrap my December child’s gift. I kid you not. Even the store where I’d found it before only had Christmas-themed paper in December.

I believe I resorted to using some plain red Christmas wrapping paper. He does like the color red. Now I plan to make sure I still have some birthday-themed wrapping paper when it’s time to wrap birthday presents for my December baby, and also for those people I give birthday gifts to who have birthdays in the above-mentioned period.

And yes, I have more than just that one cousin or my son, Tony, with a birthday so close to Christmas. Looking at my calendar I also have two nieces, another cousin, my son-in-law, my husband, and a sister-in-law and her late husband with birthdays between December 11^th and January 8^th. And those are just the ones I know about.

Then again, I also thought of all the people who have birthdays on, or extremely near, major holidays. Imagine people overlooking your birthday because it is within days of Thanksgiving, Easter, New Year’s, Labor Day, or national independence days (like July 4^th).

Try planning a birthday party on or near your birthday when it happens to be on or near a major holiday. All your friends ended up declining the invitation because their parents said, “that’s family time.”

Growing up, Bonnie and I had the best attendance at our birthday parties when we planned them for at least a week after the actual event. I think our biggest birthday party was when our big day was on a Monday, though just the one year, which happened to be 1976. With the fourth on Sunday, our town had a huge celebration on Monday. So it felt like the whole town was celebrating with us.

There are also our two youngest brothers. One was born on Labor day and the other on the last Friday of November. I’m not sure Labor Day had as much of an effect on my baby brother, but my other brother felt it. Far too often his friends weren’t available to celebrate with him because they were celebrating Thanksgiving with extended family.

So, as the Christmas season quickly approaches, I think not only about those numerous family members who deal with birthdays far too close to the event but also everyone whose birthday gets overshadowed by a major holiday.

As the holidays approach, think about the people you know who have birthdays on or near that major event. They want others to recognize their birthday the same way they do everybody else’s.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Of Celebrations and Milestones by Konnie Enos

As humans, we make a habit of celebrating events and milestones in our lives, from a baby’s birth, through their first tooth and on through graduations, marriage, etc. As the years pile on, we celebrate those. Some more than others.

I’ve personally celebrated numerous events and milestones in my lifetime. Milestones like graduating high school or getting my associate’s degree in both arts and science. Events like birthdays, marriages, baptisms, and anniversaries. I even remember the momentous occasion of celebrating our nation’s 200^th birthday. Thanks to when our birthday is, we also celebrated our 14^th birthday that weekend.

I’ve celebrated my silver wedding anniversary with all my children around me. (This was a few years ago before any of them were married, or had boy/girlfriends.)

You can celebrate triumphs (like graduating), or remember anniversaries, some happy (marriage) and others not so much (9-11).

We celebrate and remember a number of events in our lives. People say for every day of the year someone, somewhere, is celebrating or remembering some event.

If you look at holidays, I think August is the only month of the year (in America) where there isn’t some sort of holiday unless you add in Jewish holidays. Some months have more than one.

Some people celebrate being “over the hill”. I can remember throwing such a party for our mother when she was 30. When we hit 30, they’d moved that mark to 40. With more people living longer, I expect them to eventually move it to 50.

Wedding anniversaries are always celebrated. When I was younger, people noted the first anniversary than paid little attention until they made their silver and golden anniversaries (25 and 50 years). Today radio host Delilah will sing a special ‘anniversary’ song to anyone who calls requesting a dedication for 10 or more years of marriage. You see newspaper articles about couples who’ve made 50 years of marriage. They should do one on my aunt and uncle who’ve been married at least 60 years now. (Apparently, today it’s far more common to fall short of 10 years of marriage than it is to exceed it.) My husband and I will be celebrating 30 years in November.

But by far the most common celebration for each day of the year is someone’s birthday. People produce lists, even books, about famous people “born on this day”.  Families make videos of a child’s first birthday. (I did once but I never had a camera to do so with my other children.) They do videos to celebrate learning the gender of their unborn child. Videos of multiple life events are all over social media.

Bearing in mind just how many people could have a birthday on any given day, not long ago my son told me he’d met someone born on the same day I was. I pondered that for a minute. To the best of my knowledge, I have met exactly one other person, in my entire life, who has the same day of birth that I do. Bonnie. I’ve met dozens of people born that week, either before or after my birthday, but none born on that day. All things considered a rather amazing thing.

Of course, when it comes right down to it, nobody thinks about or remembers dates/events with no meaning to them.

We remember the bicentennial because it was such a huge celebration, but we find it hard to remember exact events from all the other July 4’s we’ve celebrated. I can remember events from the Christmas I was ten, but others are harder to distinguish.

Few people old enough to remember that day can’t remember exactly what they were doing when they heard on 9-11-2001. Just like those old enough to remember JFK’s assassination or the attack on Pearl Harbor.

We etch the biggest events in our memory forever.

 We all have such days, both big and little. The monumental ones whole nations can’t forget and the little ones that only mean something to you or your family.

So today, I’m asking you to ponder tomorrow.

Does March 19 bear any significance in your life or is it just another Thursday?

Personally, I shall always remember March 19 as the day I finally became a grandmother to my beautiful, precious, and very gorgeous first grandchild. My darling Emma May Plagmann who is one year old tomorrow. Grandma love’s Emma.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Laughter is the Best Medicine by Konnie Enos

One night as we were sitting down to dinner the phone rang. One of our then teenaged daughters answered it. It was a reminder about an activity that evening. Taking into account travel time, it gave the girls about 10 minutes to eat. We began dishing up while I turned to my husband to figure out who was driving them. It soon became clear their dad wasn’t any more eager than I was to go anywhere for any reason.

I finally offered my excuse on the assumption he, as usual, had his on. “I don’t have shoes on.”

About this point, Royce, who was at most in kindergarten, possibly first grade, appeared to be in the act of crawling under the table, he most certainly ducked his head under it.

“Neither do I.”

Royce pops back up. “Nobody has shoes on.”

Yes, we all laughed.

Anyway, since that day Royce has found it rather fun to see if he could get people to laugh, though there are so many times he manages without ever trying, just by being him.

Something that happened only a couple months into this school year is a case in point.

Due to recent events on area campuses, the school district instated random backpack checks. Since he has and will carry, concealed knives (preferably when not in school) I spoke with him about it.

His response? “The way to get through a backpack check is to be super compliant." He then mimicked going through his backpack, one item at a time. Considering he has at least four back up chargers, not to mention everything else, usually with spares, in his backpack, I was sure someone would give up fast, that and he had me cracking up.

What was even funnier is this February some girl at school got mad at Royce because she didn’t want to go to class, but as an office aide he had to make sure she did go to her class. To get away from him she told an adult my son had drugs on him. Mandatory backpack check.

I was laughing even before he described how they didn’t even finish one pocket before they declared my son wouldn’t have drugs on him.

Then there is his constant need to not be bothered when he is doing something he wants to do, like watching a show. I, however often need assistance and my children are handy people to ask for it.

One evening I wanted some help. I carefully considered who might be up and would respond. The obvious choice was Royce. I knew if I texted him he would come right in.

Within a minute he is in my room. "Why me? Why can't you ask my brother once in a while?"

I look at him for a moment. "Because I know you'll answer."

He throws his arms up. "Why do have I have to be the responsible one?"

I asked him because my very helpful daughters weren’t awake.

He still finds ways to make us laugh.

One morning my son was just entering the bathroom to get ready for school. I verified with him when he needed to be to school that day then told him and his sister to remind me at a quarter to eight to get dressed.

My son: "Why?" His eyes got big. "Are you taking me to school?"

"Of course."

He clasps his hands together and looks heavenward. "Thank the Lord!"

I assumed he was just glad he got to ride in our sedan rather than Dad's old rattle trap truck.

His sister adds: "You do realize what she's really saying is I'm driving."

He points heavenward. "Screw it!" He then slams the bathroom door shut but we can still hear him from the other side. "But I like talking."

His favorite thing right now is regularly calling his Aunt Bonnie and seeing if he can get her to laugh. He succeeds, amazingly.

But one of my favorite interactions with him happened over a year ago, about a month after his brother’s birthday.

He’d ordered something and expected it to be delivered that day. The only problem he found with it was the directions said an adult had to sign for the package. He full out panicked.

Several times he made sure I knew it was coming and that I was still there to sign for it.

Each time I told him I wasn’t the only adult in the house.

About the third time he did that I said, “You’re the only one in this family who isn’t an adult.”

“Wait a minute! You mean Tony can sign for it!”

“Yes. You’re the only one who can’t.”

Well now, as of today, my sweet lovable, and funny baby of the family can sign for his own packages. Happy 18^th birthday Royce.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.