How do you get across to someone they need to learn how to
write well before they try to finish their story?
I have no idea but that’s what I need to figure out.
A budding author asked me for help, and sent me his
manuscript. In the very first sentence, I noticed problems. Starting with the
fact he wrote it in first person PRESENT tense.
Now, of course there is nothing wrong writing in first person,
lots of authors do. And I particularly enjoy Dick and Felix Frances, both of
whom write in first person. But, well, I don’t know if it’s a rule or not, it’s
just that I’ve never read any novel written in present tense, so I found that
jarring, on its own, then it gets worse.
Some time ago, I had the great luck of having a professional
editor volunteer to read one of my manuscripts and she informed me I was mostly
telling. Now all good writers know we need to show not tell, so I was
devastated, and I struggled to reword my manuscript so I’m showing not telling.
It wasn’t easy, but I’ve learned that it’s a whole lot easier to start out
showing than it is to fix telling.
This is the problem I’m facing. This budding author isn’t
just mostly telling, he is just plain telling.
All of what I managed to read (and
believe me it was difficult to do and stay awake) was telling.
And how can anyone lose themselves in a story, if the writer’s
style is boring and so clinically precise he states the exact height of every
single character as they’re introduced, furthermore, he doesn’t show
relationships, he states them.
If your main character walks into a room occupied by someone
this person knows, don’t state their relationship — SHOW it. Have the character
greet this person in whatever manner he would whether its by slugging or
hugging this other person, show their relationship, do not state it!
As for the height issue, the only time I’ve seen precise height
mentioned in a novel is when a character is stating it for some important
reason, like a cop giving the perps description, but to state it as you
introduce the character? Okay, I find that annoying, and certainly something,
which would never “draw” me into the story.
Instead of stating height, show it.
Show someone who is short trying to get something out of a
cupboard or, as I’ve done before, climb into a pickup truck. Of course, seeing
the world and its challenges from a short person’s perspective is easy for me. :) It is harder for me to visualize the opposite end of that spectrum, i.e.
remembering that tall people have to duck through doorways or under low hanging
ceiling fans. I have witnessed this stuff; I should remember it when I’m
writing.
And another way to show height is show how two characters
interact because of their height differences. I see this mistake too often
where the author indicates the heroine is on the short side and the hero is
considerably taller, yet they don’t have to make any adjustments to stand
facing each other and kiss. Really? I could have sworn I either had to stand a
step up or we had to do a combination of him scrunching down and me standing on
tiptoe.
If there is an extreme height difference, at least figure
out how that would affect your characters’ interactions before you write it.
Anyway, I still need to figure out how to get all this
across to someone who isn’t willing to hear the bad news about his writing.
Happy writing everyone. :)
