Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Patches by Bonnie Le Hamilton




Sometimes writing is hard, it’s even harder when there’s someone in your life begging for attention. You have stuff you need to get done, but try telling that to a cat. All Patches knows is that he wants attention.

Have you ever tried to move around a small apartment with a cat scampering around your feet, yowling for his breakfast? Here is how that generally goes:

Patches yowling and moving in my way.

“Yeah, I know what you want, now get out of my way so I get it.”

I push Patches out of the way and open the tin where his food is. He gets in the way again. I gently move him aside with my arm, but still manage to spill a little, can’t be helped, since Patches pushed back, he wants his food now! He acts like I’m going to forget to feed him. I never forget to feed him, but some days I get the feeling he expects me to do it before my morning trip to the bathroom or getting dressed.

Breakfast isn’t the only time I have problems. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stepped on him because I couldn’t see him down there. Like this incident:

Me: walking toward the kitchen sink.

Yowling.

Me: jumping back and looking down. “Well stay out from under my feet!”

He scampered under the table. Well, at least he’s safe there.

But even getting up in the morning is an issue. For starters, beginning way before my alarm goes off (don’t ask me the time, I don’t sleep with my glasses on) Patches starts climbing on me and shoving his nose in my face, working hard to get my attention. The second I open my eyes he's meowing for food, and underfoot as I try to do things like empty my bladder in the intended receptacle instead of down my leg.

Thanks to him, I don’t always make it, especially the time he charged ahead of me and jumped up on the lid! I had to shoo him off so I could use the facilities.

But that is nothing to yesterday morning when I stood on the scale (as I do every morning) only to look down to find him standing on the scale too! Like that helps.

Of course, he was trying to get my attention, it was breakfast time after all. Try telling a cat that I don't feed him until after I take my vitals every morning. As far as he’s concerned, he’s hungry, it’s time for me to feed him.

And all that doesn’t count all the times I’ve had to search for my phone while the alarm was going off, because Patches knocked it off the nightstand. I just wish it didn’t happen most mornings. Dang cat.

And while some days, he doesn’t even attempt to go outside when I open the door, others he dives out the second I open it. My big complaint is the days when he dives out the door as I opened it, but by the time I had the door closed and locked, he was back wanting to go inside. Or there’s the other day where he never even attempted to go near the door as I existed, but when I returned, he dove between my feet.

Then, when I had to leave again, I stood outside and called to him. I waited a couple minutes with no response. I closed and locked the door, and suddenly he’s at my feet wanting in. This is my life.

And with how often I leave my place during the week, my door is opened a lot, but I never know when he’s going to go outside, let alone how long he’ll stay outside. Most of the time, he comes back when I return or open the door, but not always.

Anyway, living with a cat, and said cat being the only other living being around, means I spend a lot of time talking to him, but it usually seems to be on the lines of, “Get out from under my feet!”

Or like when I’m trying to write, and scenes like the above picture happen, or worse, he decides to walk across the keyboard.

I have long since started closing my laptop if I leave it even just long enough to get more water because if I don’t, I’ll have to do a ton of deleting when I get back. That is if I can get to my keyboard. 

Once he tried to take a nap on it.

Why not? He naps on the thing when it's closed.

And right now, he’s napping on the back of the couch, right behind my head.

At least he’s letting me write.

Anyway, happy writing, everyone.

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