Instagram and Me by Bonnie Le Hamilton

Since when is Instagram a dating service?

This is a legitimate question. I really need to know, because I seem to have become the desire of every Tom, Dick, and Harry on Instagram. And this is why I changed my profile picture to include my wedding ring.

Yeah, I know, I’m a widow, but I’m also not looking.

Someone else might get bored living alone, or living with just one pet, like I do, but that someone isn’t me.

Hey, I don’t mind them following me, but messaging me? Especially messaging me like you already know me! This is not smart. I can see right through that. Though I also got one message from a guy who started right into giving me his bio, which included the fact that he owned two liquor stores. Clearly, he doesn’t know me.

Just for the benefit of everyone who thinks both that Instagram is a dating service, and that I, as a widow, am looking for a man, you lose me at the mention of things like coffee and alcohol. Because even if I were looking, which I am not, those things are against my religion, so, I’d never pick a guy like you.

Except there is the big issue of I AM NOT LOOKING!

Yes, I am a young widow. And yes, there is no taboo in my church about widows remarrying, but its personal choice. My choice is to stay single.

I have a cat for companionship and I have family nearby, why do I need some man to share my home?

So, what could be prompting these men into thinking I’m searching for a man?

It can’t be financial, because while I do have money, I’m barely making ends meet, and what money I do have is all tied to being Tom’s widow. Meaning, if I remarry, I would lose all my income and my health insurance. No thank you.

And, just a word of warning, with my health issues, and bills, no sane man would want to take all that on.

Or maybe they think I’m looking because I’m a widow and a romance writer. Both are mentioned in my Facebook profile. But there is no rule saying a romance author has to have a romantic life, and well, I am an author. We're more like hermits. We like to be alone. It’s easier to write that way.

What’s really confusing me is the ages of these guys. Some of the messages I’ve gotten come from guys who seem to be in their twenties by their profile picture. Twenties? Really? Come on, I turned twenty in 1982. My identical twin sister’s youngest is nineteen.

Even if I were looking, I wouldn’t be looking that young.

And liquor store guy? Well, he informed me right off that he’s 45! That would mean he was born in like 1975. Guess what, so was my middle brother. I used to change his diapers.

I was a teenager when Ben was born. So, if I’m old enough to have changed the diapers of someone your age, I’M TOO OLD FOR YOU!

And yeah, I have considered that all these men might actually be scammers. Some may not even be men. I am fully aware of what Catfishing is. And I have watched Dr. Phil on this topic.

So, it probably boils down the money issue or they think I’m gullible.

Honestly, I almost got taken in by one guy. But he started out about some bracelets I’d made and posted on Facebook. Ok, cool. I thought he wanted to purchase one.

First, he wanted a color I didn’t have.

No problem, he could wait for me to make that color.

Then things got weird.

He started messaging me constantly, talking like we were dating or something, and how he wanted to meet me. The thing is, at one point he said he was from Salt Lake – just a couple of hours drive from me, but when I mentioned having plans to go to Salt Lake, he wasn’t there, he was stuck out of the country at the moment because of his job. Sounds fishy to me. As in cat-fishy.

Yeah, I ended up blocking him.

But the messages are still coming, so I sort of hoped changing my profile picture to show my wedding would help.

Men, FYI, a widow who doesn’t take her wedding ring off, is not ready, or willing, to date.

My wedding ring is firmly in place and I have no intention of taking it off.

Now to the topic of writing. I haven’t gotten a lot done in the last couple of weeks. Actually, I’ve managed no writing at all since my last blog, but I finally finished editing “Mathias’s Dilemma”!   

Anyway, happy writing everyone!