Of Funny quips by Konnie Enos

I woke up at nearly seven this morning and realized that I needed to have my post written and up, within about an hour. Cue panic. I had not been feeling well yesterday and completely spaced even writing it.

I again have no idea what to write, but I have, over the last couple of months, gathered a few funny incidents so I’ll start there.

First I’ll start with this one I heard for Melinda.

From Melinda while she is starting the washing machine to do a load.: “I got molasses on my shirt.”

Me: “Sorry.” Then after a moment of thought. “Well, actually, you’re the one who requested gingersnaps.

Melinda: “Well, I didn’t request molasses on my shirt.”

Then this one I encountered at church.

I’m talking to one senior lady who is moving rather slowly. She said she’d broken a bone in her foot and was still taking it easy on it.

I indicated my walker, which I did have with me, and said, “My current mobility issues are also because of a broken bone, but I broke mine over 50 years ago.

Another senior lady is at this point close enough to hear my comment and responds, “How is that possible if you’re not even 50 yet?”

“I’m 60.”

Now the stunned looked. “Oh!”

Since I hadn’t said which bone I’d broken before I was 10 years old, I assume she was astonished at my age. I think if she’d known it was my back she would have found it even more astonishing.

Then from Royce, and the first one is also about my age.

Royce: Gripping about me always having some issue with technology, like pushing buttons when I shouldn’t be and wondering when I’ll ever remember not to do that.

Me: “I’m sixty.”

After I’d responded that way on several occasions He finally retorted: You can’t use that excuse forever you know.”

Me: “I can until my next birthday.”

This next one is also from Royce and had me laughing because it’s so typically a Royce response.

Royce was in my room talking to me when he paused, looking at our closet. “Why is Xavier sleeping there?

I glance in that direction and happen to be able to pick out where Xavier’s nose is. He is, after all, mostly black and he was in a dark corner of our closet, sort of behind Jerry’s nightstand.

“Oh, he likes to sleep in that corner.”

“Does he think he’s a cat?”

“Well, Tiger thinks he’s a dog.” Tiger being a yellow tabby.

“Fair point.”

And yet one more from my lovely son. This is one I overheard, as I was in my bedroom and they were in the front of the house.

I heard Royce say, “Argh.” I’m assuming pain of some sort.

Melinda clearly says something to him but they are too far away for me to hear what it is.

Royce: “I’m still alive. My foot might not be through.”

So yeah, he stubbed his toe.

And this one, literally happened yesterday morning. I’m in the middle of updating my planner/calendar for the new month and I realize it’s now November, another year has passed. Since my husband is on the other side of the room, I get his attention.

Me: “What are we going to do for our anniversary?”

Jerry: “I don’t know. When is it?”

Me: “When is our anniversary? Seriously?”

Jerry: “Is it October?”

(Remember, this was YESTERDAY.)

Me: “When do you think it is? We got married the day after Thanksgiving.”

Jerry: “So what day is that? Friday?”

Me: “The day changes every year.” I, of course, roll my eyes. I mean who doesn’t know that the date Thanksgiving falls on changes every year so that it always falls on the last Thursday of November? And, of course, the date of our anniversary doesn’t change, but the day does, though it’s always close to Thanksgiving.

The same can be said for the birthday of our middle brother. He was born the day after Thanksgiving too, just on a different date than our anniversary. And yes, sometimes we do end up celebrating our anniversary, or his birthday, on Thanksgiving because they fell on the last Thursday of November. This year, neither of them does.

Oh, and for our anniversary this year, we probably won’t do much mostly because I’ll probably be busy helping Melinda with preparing our Thanksgiving meal and it’s not going to be a huge feast. It just takes time to prepare all that from scratch.

Which reminds me. Time to start preparing the bread for the dressing.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

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