Writing About Birthdays by Bonnie Le Hamilton

Today I am remembering my birthday. And there are so many birthdays to remember.

Way back in 1976, I was in the summer band. My band class always met on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. That year the 5^th fell on Monday. Everyone in the clarinet section knew this.

I can still picture the look of utter confusion on our band leader’s face at the end of the parade right after he announced there would be no band classes on Monday. And it must have been really confusing because every other section cheered except the clarinet section. All but one of the girls snapped their fingers and stomped their feet in the classic, “uh shoot!” expression while one girl dang near collapsed to the ground in utter relief, and the lone boy in the section just stood there unfazed.

I was the one sighing with relief. And believe me, until he announced no classes on Monday, I was seriously considering skipping class that Monday, because all those girls were planning to ambush me so all of them, could spank me fourteen times and each give me a pinch to grow an inch. I even know why they were planning to do it.

I had done the very unwise thing of mentioning I hadn’t received any birthday spankings in years, let alone a pinch to grow an inch.

Considering how short I am, that was very stupid of me to mention. I was the oldest, and shortest, kid in our band. All the kids in the clarinet section knew this, and they were prepared to make sure I got all those pinches in order for me to grow at least an inch.

I tried to tell them I didn’t think that old myth would work, but they wouldn’t listen, and I wasn’t about to endure their attack just to prove it didn’t work.

Thankfully I didn’t have to.

Though I think Konnie will agree with me when I say our worst birthday is still our 6th birthday, and that’s surpassing last year when I had COVID or the year before when she had COVID, or back in ’88 because I was stuck at home waiting for my husband to get off watch to come home and give my present which was in the trunk of our car, when our dad called, and, without preamble, announced, “He’s taller than you.”

Not fun, but still not as horrible as opening two of everything on our 6^th birthday.

How do you feel about birthdays? Do you have a worst one?

For that matter, how do your characters feel about their birthdays?

Some families have traditions that only make a fuss over the birthdays of the children, never the adults, who are lucky to get a card, and simple well wishes. While others don’t celebrate birthdays at all.

What sort of birthday traditions do you have? What sort of birthday traditions do your characters have?

I honestly don’t know for most of my characters, though for most of them, their birthdays don’t occur during the story, so that isn’t too bad that I don’t know. I do know for one character that her father (who raised her) didn’t pay attention to birthdays at all, but I know that because the story starts on her birthday, and she doesn’t realize it until she sees a calendar noting the date.

I have another character who probably didn’t have birthday celebrations at all, just not sure about her. I know they didn’t celebrate Christmas in her family. And no, they were not Jewish or any known religion that doesn’t celebrate Christmas. Her stepfather was more like a cult leader, but it was a very small cult.

I do have one story where the birthdays of several characters are mentioned and celebrated, but I really don’t have the main characters feeling about their birthdays except for the one depicted in the story in which her father ruined everything. Can’t help but know her feelings when she’s bawling her eyes out.

And one (in an unfinished story) who hates her birthday because for all the ones she could remember, something tragic happened to her on her birthday. I have a scene where she doesn’t want to live through another birthday.

The thing is everyone views their birthday differently, depending on their family traditions and or traumatic past.

Konnie and I could hate our birthdays because of the events on our 6^th birthday, but well, bad things did happen, but they could have happened on any other day, it was just made worse, and notable because it was our birthday.

Some people avoid even mentioning their birthday because of their traumatic past, while others look forward to theirs and make sure everyone knows when it is.

Anyway, happy writing everyone!