Royce
sat on my bed, looked right at me and said, “Meli…” He shook his head. “Mom.”
“Did
you just mix me up with Melinda?”
“Well,
she’s second mom.”
That’s
right. My eighteen-year-old son is mixing me up with my twenty-three-year-old
daughter all because she’s, for lack of a better description, our household’s
stay-at-home-mom. (Yes, we are talking about a young woman who has never
married and has no children, unless you count her parakeet, cat, and two dogs.)
Normally
I’m the stay-at-home-mom, doing all the grocery shopping, paying all the bills,
and chauffeuring my children to various places they need to be while also making
futile effort to keep the household clean. I also make sure my husband takes
his pills every day, which includes sorting them out into his pill dispenser
once a week.
However, I have recently taken on a full-time
job.
I’m
still paying the bills and dealing with Jerry’s pills and I occasionally do the
dishes or cook a meal.
Since
we don’t have children in our household, I can get away with doing a lot less
than most mothers. You see all my children are adults.
Other
then the pets who reside here, our household consists of six adults capable of doing
their own laundry and keeping their own rooms clean. All of us can cook at
least enough to stave off starvation. We’re all capable of washing, dishes,
cleaning counters/stovetops, and dusting. I’m the only one who can’t sweep and
mop the floors.
My
oldest son is also working full-time. The oldest of my daughters, still living
at home, is taking college classes. The remaining three members of my family
consist of my unemployed husband, youngest son and youngest daughter (these
last two being Royce and Melinda).
Melinda
has taken over nearly all my chores, even grocery shopping.
The
work is wearing her out.
I
think she’s most tired of the never-ending pile of dishes and having to do all
the errands and chauffeuring her siblings around. (She is the only one of her
siblings with a license, so far.)
I
have made efforts to thank her for all she does but in light of how much she
has taken on, I don’t think it’s enough.
My
oldest daughter at home and my oldest son have expressed some understanding
over how much she has taken on and do make efforts to help her as much as
possible. (Note they are the busiest people in the household along with me.)
Royce
and my husband, Jerry, appear oblivious.
Just
the other day I went to fix something to eat and had to wash every dish I
needed to fix my food. I chewed into Royce who was sitting at the table. “Why
can’t you do the dishes?”
“I
didn’t know they needed done. Nobody said anything to me.”
“You
can’t see the counter stacked with dirty dishes or notice there aren’t any
clean ones in the cupboard?” He shrugged. I continued. “You’re an adult know.
You should be intelligent enough to notice when something needs done.”
I
continued to chew him out and, with some help from his siblings, I eventually
got him to do the dishes. I will probably have to repeat it to get him to do
them again.
My
husband?
I
had honestly thought I’d cured him of such old-fashioned thinking, but as soon as
he had his disability payments coming in he refused to help with any of the daily
tasks to keep a household running smoothly because “I do my part by bringing in
the money.”
Yes,
he said that.
I’ve yet to dissuade him from this line of
thinking.
So
with him refusing to do much if anything around the house and always brushing
tasks I point out that needs done onto our children it’s understandable why Royce
is so insisting he does enough when we have to fight him to do barely his share.
It also explains why my daughter is not getting sufficient help because,
frankly, running a household takes the efforts of every able-bodied member.
Unless
of course, you think it’s okay to overwork and stress out one family member so
everyone else can pretty much do as they please.
That’s
why I’m in awe of what my daughter can accomplish and I wish she didn’t have to
take on so much. She deserves a medal. Every stay-at-home parent deserves
recognition for their effort in caring for their home and family.
Maybe
we should institute a national stay-at-home parent’s day. On this day, all such
parents get to leave house and home and do something they enjoy while their
spouse has to figure out how to take care of everything.
Who’s
with me?
Smile.
Make the day a brighter day.
