Schedules and Stress by Konnie Enos

It’s Wednesday morning again and I haven’t written my post yet. I don’t have any ideas to write, and I can only blame it on my poor planning.

Some months ago, I learned about a writer’s conference in Idaho Falls, Idaho. At the time, being stressed at home, I felt this was the perfect excuse for me to get away.

I bought the ticket and booked my flight.

I told my sister so she could expect me and go to the conference with me.

I didn’t concern myself with how long I’d be gone or that it was over my daughter’s birthday. I didn’t even worry about the fact I’d be gone the last ten days of the month. (I wanted to see family too.)

I planned for my daughter’s birthday and made sure family members knew where I’d hidden her gift.

I figured I’d be home for the first of the month madness of getting bills and such taken care of.

I told my family, multiple times, how long I’d be gone.

Things didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped.

While I was gone, multiple family members were asking each other when I was due back. Apparently, they couldn’t remember I’d told them when I was returning. In addition, before I even got back several family members were asking me about the family schedules for this month. Information I did not have yet. Not one of them, all adults, had given me their personal schedules for October. Leaving me with no clue on who needed to be where when.

They’ve also asked me, more than once, how much money we have left and when am I going to the store. How am I supposed to know if I haven’t been home and haven’t done the grocery shopping for the last ten days? I still have to figure out how much money my daughter spent and if we have anything left. (I’m sure I do because said daughter is good with money.)

I also haven’t done this month’s budget yet, because you know, not home for ten days right at the end of the month.

So far, I’ve managed to get one daughter’s schedule, thus far, for the month. A schedule that included two appointments yesterday. So instead of sitting at home on my computer figuring out our budget or writing my post, I was driving her around.

I also found out I have multiple calls to make. I have to reschedule an appointment because of conflicts. I have to call one company about our service because of issues and I need to call at least one healthcare provider to make appointments. I’m also sure there’s something else needing done which I’m forgetting.

Then there is also the monthly issue of getting our bills paid and doing our monthly major shopping trips. All of which I still have to figure everything out. I haven’t even made a shopping list yet.

I’ve managed to go through the stack of mail that had piled up as I was gone which, apparently, my husband had gathered and just set aside without looking at anything beyond the two appointment reminder cards he’d received. This is when I learned he hadn’t even read who the mail was too. One of the articles received was for our neighbor (i.e.: miss-delivered). Two were for our youngest son. One of which was his new debit card which he needed because his old one expired.

He came into me rattled because he hadn’t received it yet and his old one was already expired. Luckily, I’d already gone through the mail by then and knew he had some, one of which could easily be his card. Yes, it was there, and my son had panicked over its absence for well over a week because nobody bothered to actually read the mail.

Now I have to spend the next few days updating our financial information, paying bills, and figuring out what we can and cannot cover this month.

On top of that, it’s already October. Leaving me with less than two months to get the rest of my Christmas shopping done. (I prefer to be done before Thanksgiving so I can relax for the holidays.) I’m behind because I simply can’t think of appropriate gifts for some family members. Men can be so hard to shop for. Yes, most of the gifts I still need to buy are for the males in my family including my son-in-law.

So, taking that trip to relieve some stress only made things at home well, more stressful. Are we having fun yet?

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Of Nano and Conference by Bonnie Le Hamiton

National Novel Writer’s month (Nano for short) is coming, as it does every November, but well, this past weekend I attended my writing group's monthly meeting and the discussion was on, “What are you going to write this Nano?”

Yikes!

I’ve been so focused on editing my one novel that I haven’t written much of anything all year beyond my blog posts. I most certainly haven’t been thinking about what I will write, so I have no idea.
But let’s face it, for the Nano’s I’ve participated in, I’ve had an outline a whopping total of one time. And I’ve only known what I was going to write in advance maybe five other times beyond that.
More often than not I’ve headed into the first of November with no plan, and no story idea. Though I have to admit, since I generally write romance, that is what I was thinking I’d write when I started the month.

That is what I wrote those times. The only time I didn’t write romance was the time I used an outline, so maybe I should try outlines more often and branch out on what genres I write.
For me, romance is easy. Anything else is hard, so I’d need an outline for something in the sci-fi field. I did have an outline, not much of one, but I did have one. Not enough to finish that story, but it was start. I need to finish it.

Maybe I should work on that again.

But I have other story ideas, one that has been popping into my head once in a while. I just don’t think there is enough there to make a good story, not a novel anyway. And I’m not sure of motivation or anything on the part of the characters. I just plain don’t think that one will work, so I haven’t fleshed it out in my mind let alone on paper – or rather computer screen.

I only have a vague idea about what happens next on my sci-fi, and I know I still have some fleshing out to do on what I already have to make it a complete story. So, I need to work on that. I need to be more organized and work on my writing with more consistency than I have been.

Have you ever found yourself so busy writing has taken a backseat for you? Or do you consider editing just another part of writing? I have been doing a lot of that, just not consistently.

I haven’t been doing anything with a whole lot of consistency.

That’s probably my biggest problem.

But then I’ve discussed that before. I get distracted easily. Too easily sometimes.

Then there is Konnie. When she’s home, she has a hard time finding time to write, but her distractions come in the form of a husband and four kids still living in the home. Needless to say, I don’t have that problem.

My distractions come in the form of one small kitten who likes to play and a sister-in-law who needs rides once in a while. Then there are my writing groups, the knitting group, and my volunteer work. Yeah, I’m busy.

This week is even more so because Konnie is up visiting me and she, of course, would like to visit some of our family in the area if she can while she’s here. On top of that, we have a writer’s conference to attend this weekend. (Which is why she’s here in the first place.)

Though that has already led to some interesting interactions.

Sunday at church, I spotted the young daughter of a friend of mine, right as the girl noticed my sister, not me. She smiled and started toward her, then stopped and frowned in confusion, then I got her attention and the poor girl was shocked. She is learning delayed and still very young, so I can imagine she had a hard time with the idea that there are two of us.

Another lady from church walked right up to us and started to say, “Now which −”

I smiled and said hello, calling her by name.

“Well, that answers my question!”

Everyone, of course, noted that the person sitting next to me looks just like me. They would have to be blind not to notice that.

We got a lot of people staring at us at the airport when I picked her up too. This will continue the whole time she’s here. This conference should be fun!

Anyway, have you ever been to a conference? This will be a first for both Konnie and me.

And do you participate in Nano? Will you be participating this year? If so, do you know what you are going to write?

Well, happy writing, or editing everyone!

Life on the Spectrum by Konnie Enos

Not long ago I bought a case of spam and it was sitting on my kitchen table waiting to be put away. My youngest looked at it. “That’s going to annoy me.”

“What?” He simply pointed at the case so I examined it. Most of the cans had been arranged in the same way, making a clear pattern with the tabs. A few broke the pattern. “Oh. Yes, that would be annoying.”

More recently, I walked into the kitchen and found him making not one, not even two, but four hash brown patties. His reason? “I’m only having these and two just wasn’t enough.”

No, he did not consider having three. You see three is an odd number. Four is even.

See, for my dear son, things must follow the established pattern and things MUST come in packages of even numbers.

This is why he always cooks four hamburgers (he usually only eats two, two are for my husband and me) or makes two sandwiches. It must always be even.

Yet another incident. I was trying to pack my nebulizer with several individual vails of medicine. I told my son which bag he could dig some vails from. He handed me a fistful. I counted what I had and decided I should have at least seven more.

Son reached into the bag two more times, getting a few each time. I counted them as he handed them to me but I saw no obvious efforts on his part to count them. I told him how many more we needed as he pulled exactly that number out of the bag.

“I know that.”

“You’ve been counting?

He thought that was obvious.

I’ve lived with him for eighteen years and I’m just now beginning to realize his reliance on numbers and patterns, but it’s clear they are important to him in his everyday actions.

On top of that, he has an obsessive need to talk to someone about the shows he likes to watch, to the point of spoiling the story for anyone listening.

I know a great deal about all his favorite shows, which I’ve never watched because I’m his favorite sounding board. Probably because I’ll actually listen to him.

My son is also obsessed with technology.

I’m sure he knows more about computers than anyone else in the family. Something that is helpful to at least his senior citizen dad who has never quite gotten the hang of it. My husband is always asking our son for help doing something on his computer or phone.

It’s commonplace to hear my husband asking for help by saying, “Show me how to do this again.” He also regularly needs help with his passwords. I think our son knows my husband’s passwords better than my husband does.

My son has noted that, though my husband and I are the same age, I rarely need his assistance.

Another fun thing about my son is his need to show all his gadgets to strangers and talk incessantly with them. Someone comes into our house and he’s showing them all his tech and survivor gear and talking about his obscure bits of knowledge.

Not long ago he got upset with me because I told him to ‘leave us alone’ and ‘stop talking’. The gentleman my husband and I were talking to was here on business and I’m sure the conversation took twice as long as necessary because my son kept butting in with off the wall stuff he just had to share with someone.

Worse still, he has always had difficulty speaking in conversational tones. If you can get him to ‘whisper’, as he puts it, he won’t be giving you a headache just listening to him, but most of the time I have to remind him to talk quieter.

What I find both a bit laughable and really frustrating, is his insistence that he cannot read. It seems like a daily basis when he’s telling me he can’t read something, yet, on the same daily basis he’s on his computer and phone doing all sorts of things, all of which require him to read in order to do it.

Some days it’s kind of fun to watch his still childlike traits competing with his adult knowledge and skills. However, other days it’s unnerving to have someone so much bigger than I am reacting with such childhood innocence.

He is capable of taking care of himself, though now I have to convince him of that, my sweet, lovable oaf.

This is what it’s like living with a high functioning autistic young man. Of course, since no two people are alike, the autistic people you know may be completely different from my young man.

What stories do you have to tell?

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Talent by Bonnie Le Hamitlon

Okay, the first annual Snake Rivers Writers Conference is coming up in a couple of weeks, and Konnie is arriving, so she can attend it, in just over a week. I’m kind of excited both for her visit, and finally being able to attend a writer’s conference.

Though I’m not all that sure about attending either. I have been active in the online writing community for years, and I’ve met quite a few people who thought they could write a best seller without being much of a reader. They think writing is easy and a quick way to get rich. Neither of these opinions are fact, quite the opposite is true.

First off, writers are readers, period. End of discussion.

Second off, writing well is dang hard! Writing well enough to sell is even harder, and managing to write a best seller is one in a billion.

The market is saturated with people who think they can write, and too many of those end up self-publishing because, according to them, agents and editors don’t know a good thing when they see it. Which explains why I’m leery of self-published books.

That isn’t to say all self-published authors are garbage, far from it. Richard Paul Evans started out self-publishing his book The Christmas Box, and my niece L.C. Ireland is an excellent writer who self-publishes. Look her up, she’s on Amazon. She’s fantastic. There are others as well, but I find far too many of the self-published authors fall into the category of self-absorbed, self-important fools who can’t see past the end of their noses.

And they are totally unteachable. Refusing to learn about show vs tell, echo, redundancies, tags, beats, info dumps, and all the other rules of good writing. One or two think their rough draft is a masterpiece needing no editing whatsoever!

I once met a man who asked me to critique his first chapter of his novel, what he sent me was more like a synopsis of a series than a first chapter. Just for the information of all the nonwriters out there, a synopsis is sort of like an outline of events without bullet points, it is far from a novel.

That fellow blocked me after I told him my opinion of his so-called chapter, because, apparently, I don’t know what I was talking about and clearly, I’m not a good writer. (Too bad I don’t agree with his opinion!)

Another fellow I met absolutely refused to use standard formatting or structure, making his manuscript impossible to follow and understand.

And I’ve known several who told me out right that agents and editors don’t know a good thing when they see it. One tried to point out as his proof how many rejections a long list of best sellers got before they sold their famous novel. Excuse me? They eventually found an agent or editor willing to publish, all of them published traditionally. Just because some of the agents and editors didn’t accept those novels doesn’t mean all of them can’t recognize something good when they see it. After all, it is a matter of opinion what is good and what isn’t. And agents and editors wouldn’t get very far in this very competitive field if they couldn’t tell the difference between excellent writing and garbage.

By the way, I read an excerpt of that fellow’s manuscript, full of typos, telling, redundancies, echo. In other words, he was trying to pawn off a rough draft as a masterpiece! Talk about ego.

Actually, all of these fellows had way more ego than talent, which reminds me of a saying I attribute to a character in one of my unfinished novels. “The braggart has more ego than talent.”

And I’ve yet to see proof that isn’t true. Everyone I’ve ever known who bragged about themselves were never as wonderful as they put themselves up to be and everyone I’ve known who let their talent speak for them was excellent in their field.

Nowadays whenever someone starts strutting around, I avoid them. I’ve had my fill of people like them.

I once worked with a fellow who thought he was God’s gift to womankind, and strutted about the place in cutoffs and flipflops to show off his tanned, blond, muscular body. I was far from impressed with him, and that drove him nuts. All the other eligible girls he worked with were swooning over him. Young female guests at the lodge were swooning too, but it bothered him that I didn’t see him as all that special.

He had so much ego that he couldn’t understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and cutoffs and muscles don’t impress me.

Anyway, happy writing everyone.

The Perception of Being Busy by Konnie Enos

For years I’ve complained that my family will not leave me alone to write. They are always coming to me and demanding my attention. It’s always something and it always gives me the impression that they don’t consider me working, or doing anything important if I’m sitting on my bed, doing something on my computer.

Then this last couple of weeks every time I tried to read my scriptures or otherwise study our Sunday school lessons, someone interrupted me, then someone else and someone else, until I was either so distracted I got up and did something else (usually at the behest of my distractions) or I no longer had time to read because I needed to be doing other things.

The worst part is, I never got back to it.

I’d get pulled away for other reasons and at the end of the day I’d realize I never finished what I was reading. This happened, not one, not twice, but repeatedly over the last couple of weeks. And it wasn’t just one family member. It was all of them, my husband included.

I had gotten into the habit of getting up at six because nobody else got up until seven and that was just my youngest daughter. She’d leave me alone. So I’d have until eight or even nine to read, study, whatever I needed in peace.

Yeah, not working anymore.

My husband started getting up at five and my youngest has decided his sleep time is during the day and bedtime is about nine or ten in the morning.

I try reading at different times but if even one family member is awake I will inevitably be interrupted for some reason or another.

I will say a few times it was a situation where I needed to drop what I was doing. However, far too many of them were simply one family member or another wanting my undivided attention for some reason which was crucial to them, but mundane to me. Clearly not more important to me than what I was already attempting to do before their interruption.

Needless to say, I’m behind on my scripture studies.

I’m also behind on doing the finances, finishing my edits, and shopping for and/or wrapping gifts (some of them are for Christmas but I like to be done before Thanksgiving). There are also calls I need to make which aren’t getting made because of too many interruptions.

Even getting one of those she sheds won’t work because where mom is so therefore is the family. They would seek me out for whatever reason they find important, to them.

What I find interesting in all of this is I can’t interrupt them. When they are on their tech they are too busy with whatever they want to do to give me any attention and they will get upset if I dare interrupt them.

And my husband is the worst offender! I can’t even ask him a simple question.

With all of this going on I got to thinking about how we perceive the activity of those around us.

Yeah, when my sons are playing video games or watching some show, they aren’t actually doing anything important, but they still don’t want interrupted. It’s important to them.

My family can tell when I’m doing finances because I have so much stuff spread around me while I’m doing it. They actually know not to bother me unless it’s vital while I’m balancing checkbooks. But when I’m on my app to read my scriptures they just see me holding my phone. When I’m writing, they just know I’m on my computer, which I also use to get on Facebook. They use theirs for lots of mundane things. So they don’t see me as actually busy.

Then again I don’t see my husband as actually busy when he’s on his computer because for so long all he’s ever done on his computer was surf. The fact he is now trying to do other things on his computer is a new phenomenon.

So maybe the problem isn’t they don’t see me as busy, but they know they are not busy when they’re on their tech.

So the problem is I’m always on my tech even when I’m just doing my Sudoku’s.

Since they can tell when I’m doing finances, and will leave me alone unless it’s urgent, perhaps what I need to do is find ways to signify I’m actually busy and don’t want to be disturbed at the moment.

Maybe I should be reading my Sunday school lesson with my scriptures and the lesson manual open in front of me. And maybe when I’m writing I should have notebooks, 3X5 cards and pens scattered around me.

Do you think that’ll give them a clue?

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Titles by Bonnie Le Hamilton

This last week I was scrolling through Pinterest and come across a series of articles on book titles. One was all about rating and categorizing internet random title generators, but a couple of others had some good advice.

The best one (for me at least) was “How to Title You Novel” https://www.well-storied.com/blog/title-your-novel.  However, according to this article, a better title for my WIP might be “Mathias’ Dilemma.” Actually, it isn’t half bad. Too bad I love “Forbidden Connection” and only like “Mathias’ Dilemma.”

The other article “Naming Your Novel” is more about steps to take to discover the best title to use. Frankly, it sounds like a lot of work, considering all of my titles so far have either just come to me, or someone else suggested it. (More often than not it was a suggestion from someone else. “Forbidden Connection” falls into the latter category.)

Do I really have to go through all those steps?

Okay, I understand looking up your title choice online. Honestly, I do, but considering coming up with just one title is so hard for me, why do I have to come up with a list of them?

Please don’t make me!

I mean really. More often than not, I title my stories after the protagonist while writing the rough, and it isn’t until much later in the writing process when I come up with something different. Even then, some family member or friend usually comes up with something even better.

The fact is, most (not all) of my stories go through several title changes before I’m finished with them. “Forbidden Connection” included. If I do decide to change it to “Mathias’ Dilemma”, this would be the 4^th title I’ve used for this story. Which isn’t so bad. I have one or two which have been through something like six title changes each. I think.

I’d have to check my files to be sure, though I’m sure I have one story which has never gone through a title change. But that title is the story, they came together.

I have another which has only had two titles: my standard "name it after the protag" and the title several of my friends brainstormed for me to go with it. That’s not changing either.

But from my experience, there usually isn’t just one good title for a story, there are several. There is always a myriad of options starting with  using the protag's name, occupation, or what the other character’s call the protag. Or you could use the theme, the setting, or some important object or event.

There are so many options, and clearly some of those options won’t fit for every novel or even genre, but you get my point. Coming up with a title for a novel is frankly harder than naming a character.

Actually, way harder. And I’ve had to change some character names several times during the writing process, but mostly because I had too many names which looked and or sounded too similar to other character names.

I had the most issues with this in “Forbidden Connection”, as Konnie can attest to, because of my insistence it was vitally important to the story for the couples involved had the same first initial.

Yeah, I did it to myself.

It has worked out in the end, just had a few problems with four of the names, all of which started with the letter “E”.

For the most part, when I settle on a name for a character, it stays that name throughout the writing and editing process, unless I change my mind about it. I can think of once where I changed a character name because I heard a new name and liked it better! My prerogative! And totally acceptable.

In fact, I have one story where I gave the main characters bland common names to start, with the idea that I would change them later. I just wanted to start the story, get it flowing before I stopped to do some research on names.

On another story, I was having trouble finding just the right name for a minor, but important, character when my husband brought home a roster from a recent college football game we attended. I took one of those player’s first names and combined it with one of those players last names, and like magic I have the perfect name for the character which conveyed a lot about him without me having to tell the reader the information, which was race. Needless to say, I’m not a pro on African-American names, but that roster had a whole slew of them. Great resource by the way. Sort of wish I still had it.

Anyway, Happy writing everyone!

Life Happens by Bonnie Le Hamilton

Sorry to disappoint any of you who were waiting for Konnie's post this morning, but well, she ended up taking one of her children to the ER last night, and that same child has an appointment this morning. So Konnie is otherwise occupied being a mom.

Next week, I will post, since I generally don't have such emergencies interrupting my writing time which is the major difference between Konnie and me.

Happy writing everyone.