Of Full Bladders and such Emergencies by Konnie Enos

 Okay, I have to pee.

For me, the sudden urge to pee is an emergency. I absolutely must propel myself onto my feet and make my way to the bathroom, and the toilet. I must lift the toilet lid, and drop my pants, and do it all before I have pee going down my leg.

Considering it is only a matter of a few yards between where I sit while on my computer and the actual seat I need to aim for, one would think it is a simple matter to get that far without accidents.

Not so.

Let’s start with actually getting up off my bed.

First, I must get my computer and any other items in front of or near me out of the way. This is generally accomplished by me shoving this away. Quick and efficient. When possible. Sometimes I have to, as quickly as possible, put things away. Or at least some semblance of a way so they aren’t in my way and won’t get lost.

Next, I must swing my legs off the side of the bed. Now if I could do this without much bending of my knees it would also be simple, but usually, I have to bend at least my right knee nearly as far as it is possible to go. This is my worst knee and it often protests such abuse.

Now that my legs are off the side of the bed, sliding off the bed so my feet are actually touching the ground is easy.

With my feet planted on the ground, I’m mostly standing but I still have to straighten up and turn to face the bathroom. This generally requires some extra support. In my case, grabbing the handles on my closet.

Once I am standing and propelling in the right direction, I can usually make it that far without support at a nice slow shuffle. If my classmates back in high school could see me walking around now they would wonder what happened to the girl they jokingly called “Speedy Gonzales”. I mean we had five minutes to get between classes and I didn’t want to be late. I was often the first one to class.

I’m also fortunate that there is ready support for the whole trip if I need it.

Now at the bathroom door, I have the obstacles the closed bathroom door, or the child safety gate up, sometimes both. Hopefully, the doors not shut because someone is in there.

Now opening the door (as long as it isn’t locked) is not difficult.

The gate is another matter.

As a general rule adults can easily step over it. Partly because of my height, partly my weight, and mostly my arthritis, such an attempt would not be fast, easy, or graceful.

 Getting it out of my way as quickly as possible is my only option. Then I shuffle another yard or so to have to tackle the lid.

You see we have animals. Toilet lids are kept down in our house.

Luckily, I’m short so it’s not too difficult for me to reach.

Probably the easiest part of the trip, right up there with getting my pants off and sitting down.

The issue is, on my good days this takes me at least 30 seconds, some days it’s a minute or two. The major problem with this is that as soon as I start moving my body said, “oh good, we can empty the bladder now.”

You’ll find women of a certain age, particularly those who’ve had a baby, or two, bouncing on their bladder for a few months, have great difficulty controlling the flow. It’s worse for those who pushed said babies out.

I’m of that certain age and I’ve pushed five babies out, thank you.

Add arthritis making moving difficult and I’m having regular accidents.

I know this is a common problem.

How do I know?

Because if it wasn’t such a common problem companies like Poise and Depend wouldn’t be in business.

If not for those nice, extremely absorbent pads, designed for just this type of issue, I’d never make it past the foot of my bed without leaving a trail.

So instead I have to laugh.

Oh, the joys of motherhood and being a senior citizen. Though I shall continue to fight that last one because 60 ain’t old and I ain’t 60 just yet.

For those wondering. My eye is healing nicely and I can see again.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Konnie and Resolutions by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

How are your New Year’s Resolutions going?

I’ve managed to get my new glass-fronted cabinets set up. I also submitted my novel to a publisher, and finally got my new mattress on my bed, as well as put together my basket of flowers, all of which have been needed to be done for a year or more. Well except submitting my novel.

I’ve even lost a little weight.

Don’t know how long that will last, but I am trying.

I am trying to get a lot of things done, too bad I’ve done most of those with help. Unless you count my friend who edited my novel, and everyone who critiqued it, then I had tons more help with my novel than I did with all the other things I accomplished.

Then again, no one was here coaxing me to actually get online and go through the steps needed to submit my manuscript. I did that myself.

And as for everything else, my “help” offered to assist me in whatever I needed to be done. Without her help, strength, and endurance, none of the rest would have been accomplished. And I think I lost most of the weight trying to move that old mattress, even if my “help” did most of the work, I was still sweating when we finished.

The problem is, I’m not ready to write another, every other week is one thing, every week is another, especially when I’m so busy.

And that sounds weird, coming from me!

Konnie is the busy one.

Konnie is the one with the house full of kids and pets and all the work that entails.

I’m the one who lives alone unless you count Patches, then I don’t.

But right now, I am the busy one.

Right now, I’m the one with the job and my volunteer work.

Well, right now Konnie is stuck at home barely able to see out of one eye. Though even if she didn’t have eye problems, she’d still be at home, because right now, she doesn’t have a job, or rather an outside job, because after all, she’s a mother and still has most of her kids living at home, plus a large number of pets.

Me, I have work, the book scanning center, the visitor’s center, and of course my writing, along with Patches and all the regular household chores.

And I sort of wish I had more time for crafts and reading.

Right now, I also wish I remembered that Konnie couldn’t post this morning and that I didn’t forget her call on Monday night until after eight on Tuesday. Just too busy.

So, I’m leaving this post right here.

Konnie is doing better and I'm working hard.

Here's hoping all of you are doing well on your New Year's Resolutions!

New Year's Goals by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

Happy New Year!

Well, almost. And aside from people wishing the new year will be better than this one, I haven’t heard a soul talking about New Year’s Resolutions.

Why is that?

Ask yourself, what would your world look like in 2022 if you did nothing to improve yourself in 2021? And what would it look like if you at least tried? What if you actually succeeded at your goal?

That right there is why you should set a goal. Improving yourself or your little part of the world or preparing in advance for any possible disaster. That is what having a year’s storage, a 72-hour kit, and a savings account is all about.

Maybe I should work harder on those things.

I certainly should put together a 72-hour kit for myself and one for Patches. I have thought about it, but every time I start to consider what I would need for such a kit, I come up with the fact that I’d need my pills, my blood pressure cuff, my blood glucose monitor, and my scale, at which point, I start praying I never have to evacuate my home, or I at least get more than an hour’s warning before I have to leave, especially since I’d need time to get Patches into his carrier and out to my car. He hates cars.

And that’s as far I’ve ever gotten in preparing for the future.

I have little savings, though I am trying.

It would be nice if I could sell my novel. That might even help me some.

Another thing I want to do is also something I’ve wanted to accomplish in the past, I always start out okay, then peter out by the end of January and end up scrambling by December and that makes the first couple weeks of December rather stressful. My own fault.

I certainly have the ability to make quite a lot of different things. I can knit, crochet, sew, do beading, bake, and make candy. If I would buckle down and actually do those things. I always have such great plans for gifts. I did last January but by the end of Nano, I was scrambling for gifts to send to my loved ones and to do it in time that they would arrive for Christmas.

Yeah, that was a lot to ask for just a couple of weeks. And I was most certainly panicking and worried I was forgetting someone. I really should start in January and work throughout the year. I plan to, yet again.

I also plan to try harder to sell my novel, but I also need to finish some of my other novels. I know people who want me to finish my other sci-fi (the one that is truly sci-fi and not just marginally so). And I do want to finish it, but I’m afraid it's going to be a major undertaking like Konnie’s sci-fi is and I no longer have all day to write.

Which is another thing. I need to figure out a schedule that includes writing time.

Then again, I need to work out a schedule that includes “crafting” time, so I can actually make those gifts I wish I had made this year.

Of course, when anyone sets a goal, they should start with a calendar and set complication dates. What is the use of setting goals if you can’t possibly make them?

A big goal like writing a series requires planning deadlines of your own and achieving them.

My goal for making the gifts will require the same kind of deadlines. Starting with a list of what I’m going to make, and who I’m making them for. Unfortunately, deciding what to make is going to be the hard part.

What do I make for the guys on my list?

My abilities are only moderate at best, and I have no idea about their sizes, let alone have them around to work on sizing the gifts.

Any suggestions?

I have some patterns, but ties won’t work on the ones who never wear one.

Actually, I’m not even sure what to make for some of those on my list who have collections, mostly because those collections are largely out of my sphere of ability.

Konnie would be the easiest to make something for, but I’ve known her longer than anyone else, having met in the womb and all.

What kind of gifts would you make?

What kind of goals would you make?

As writers, we should always find someplace in our goals, set a few deadlines for our writing. I know I need to.

What other goals are you setting? And what do you want to have completed two weeks from now?

I have a plan. What’s yours?

Good luck everyone!

Of Gifts and Christmas by Konnie Enos

 

Recently, I was reading a list of people telling about their best and worst gifts. I, of course, thought about my best, worst, and funniest Christmas gifts.

My worst?

I was a college freshman sharing an apartment with three other girls. Two were old friends and shared one bedroom and I shared the other with the remaining girl. The two of us just tolerated each other.

For Christmas, we exchanged gifts right before we went home for the holiday break. The two friends gave me thoughtful gifts. The one girl owned a gorgeous cameo that I had admired many times, she gifted it to me. All I remember of the other friend's gift is it showed she knew me and what I’d like.

Now my bedroom mate.

She gave all three of us a set of earrings. Mine was a small gold knot, barely big enough to be seen when worn. I liked them. Small earrings like that are my style.

However, at the time, I didn’t own or wear earrings.

Why?

Because I hated clip-on's and didn’t have pierced ears.

She got us pierced earrings. I lost them long before I ever got my ears pierced, about four years later.

I know there are others, mostly attempts Jerry made, like the year he got me an outfit that was too small. (Okay, so yeah, he thought I wasn’t that fat.) Or the black jacket he got me. (Yes, I needed a new jacket, one with a hood and not black.) But his poor attempts led to my funniest gift.

One year, I cajoled one of my daughters to do the gift shopping on his behalf. (This is a much better solution than me getting my own.)

Several years ago, possibly the first year I did this, I was handed a gift and ripped the paper just enough for me to see what it was. I started laughing and my family had to nearly beg me to open it the rest of the way and show them what it was. I would not tell them what was so funny.

You see, they’d gotten me a game of Battleship. I love games and it is one I was glad to get. (Royce completely enjoys stomping me when we play it.)

No, what was so funny, and I why I wouldn’t explain what had me laughing, was somewhere still under the tree was a different version of Battleship that I’d gotten for Tony, actually hoping we’d play it together. When he finally opened it they figured out what was so funny.

My best gift?

I can remember being excited by gifts I’d received and I can remember really liking some gifts, but I don’t necessarily remember what they were.

I can remember what I got for Christmas when I was 10 years old.

A belief in Santa Clause. (The physical gift was the guitar I’d been begging for.)

In the post, I wrote for December 26, 2018 (mirrortwins), I mention our brother’s snooping and the year our mother hid our gifts somewhere other than our house.

Since he was such a snoop and loved to spoil things for us, Momma started doing things like bring home already wrapped gifts. He learned how to open the tape to sneak a peek without tearing the paper. (Hence taping every seam which made this harder to do.)

Now the year he was nine.

Momma did not hide a single gift anywhere in our house. We know because he snooped and told.

We compensated for the total lack of Santa gift by making a TON of small gifts for everyone we could think of. Most of them were pictures we drew. (We had plenty of paper and crayons, but not much else.)

Our living room was about half-buried in the blizzard of gifts by the time Christmas Eve came around, but we all knew those simple gifts were all we were getting so we weren’t excited about Christmas.

That morning, with the sun shining brightly in my eyes, I got up first because I was hungry. As I made my way to the kitchen, I looked towards the living room. There I saw four good-sized packages in front of the tree (and a mound of small gifts).

Took us years to figure out how Momma managed that.

So belief restored, at least a little bit.

So what are your best, worst, funniest gifts?

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year. Also happy birthday to my wonderful son-in-law.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

It’s less than a week before Christmas, and I don’t have all my presents wrapped. I don’t even have all of them! And I think a couple will be late. While Konnie on the other hand was pretty much finished with her Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving. (She actually sent me my Christmas presents when she sent me my birthday present back in July!)

Yeah, we’re quite different.

As far as Christmas trees go, the last I heard, her tree had been up for years, as in never taken down, while over here people think I’ve decorated for Christmas when my tree isn’t even up!

Okay, I admit it, I have well over a hundred Nativities in my front room alone. Needless to say, they are out all year long.

And that isn’t to say I have no other knickknacks in my apartment. I have owls and eagles, and few other religious statues including one of Noah and the Ark. I just have a much larger collection of Nativities.

And if you’re asking, Konnie collects Christmas villages and Barbies. (Okay, yes, I have Barbie’s too, we started that collection together as kids, but she has way more nowadays.)

I, on the other hand, have never really cared for those Christmas villages. I mean I’d look at them in the stores, but never interested enough to buy any, until I learned Konnie likes them.

Though giving and getting gifts isn’t the important part about Christmas, neither are all the trees and lights. The important part is that tiny babe in the manager.

I remember as a kid going downtown for Christmas shopping, and I noticed several stores had “Merry X-Mas!” painted on their windows. My first thought was about how our big sister (affectionately nicknamed Dictionary) taught me how to spell Christmas.

She asked me to spell Christ, which I did, then she asked me to spell “mass”, which I also did. Finally, she said, “Now put them together, but drop the last 's'.”

I have never misspelled the word since! But on seeing those signs saying “X-Mas” I said, “They’re taking the Christ out of Christmas!”

It was so wrong! It’s still so wrong!

I hate to see that, drives me nuts.

It doesn’t bother me when someone says, “Happy Holidays!” because I know there are several other holidays around this time. And it is a time to be happy, no matter what holiday you celebrate. That’s no big deal, but taking the Christ out of Christmas, that’s huge and unacceptable.

Not too long ago, I went to talk with my bishop (my pastor if you will), it was the usual annual chat every bishop does with every member of their ward (congregation), but well, he is a new bishop, and so it was a get to know you kind of chat this year, and at some point, he asked if I’d decorated for Christmas yet.

“No, but you might think so if you entered my living room. Everybody does,” I said, then explained about my collection.

He beamed, “At least your focus is in the right place.”

Yeah. It’s kind of hard to forget the reason for the season when the reason for the season decorates my little apartment all year long.

And I know this last year has been hard on a lot of people, COVID, the shutdowns, everything, it's been a pain, and I see a lot of people who are having trouble finding the Christmas spirit. Not a whole lot of places are decorated, and I know plenty of people are still struggling.

I’m sure, if we didn’t have to wear those darn masks all the time, I’d see a lot of frowns. I do see a lot of slumped shoulders and listless walking.

Not a lot of people saying “Merry Christmas,” or “Happy Holidays,” these days.

My sister-in-law said it best when she told me, “It didn’t feel like Christmas.”

And she said that with snow on the ground!

She was equating Christmas with trees, lights, brightly wrapped presents, and all the commercial dressings of the season.

That isn’t Christmas.

Christmas is that babe in the manager who grew up to be that man suffering in Gethsemane and on Calgary. Christmas is about celebrating the love Heavenly Father has for everyone by sacrificing his Only Begotten Son to save us all.

Christmas is as much about the Atonement as Easter is because without Christmas, there would be no Easter!

Without the gift of His Only Son, we wouldn’t have either holiday.

So, Christmas isn’t about Santa and gifts any more than Easter is about the Easter Bunny! And it isn’t about the anticipation of opening gifts on Christmas morning, it's about what we’ve already been given.

Anyway, happy writing everyone, and Merry Christmas! 

Of Plans and Birthdays by Konnie Enos

 

I’ve been contemplating what things I have to do this week. Admittedly, not much.

Our family schedule isn’t packed with appointments, even counting video and phone ones. We’ve cut our grocery shopping trips to just once a week. This cuts costs because we’re using less gas and also not have $60 shopping trips just to get $20 worth of needed things. We’re also doing meal planning and trying hard to stick to the shopping list. Though that doesn’t always work.

For example, last Friday Melinda, Royce, and I discussed our meal plan for the week, one of which was tacos. Melinda then checked our supplies and wrote our shopping list. I did the shopping. I noted she didn’t list chips or shells but I knew we didn’t have any, so I got some of both. Unfortunately, while I noticed she didn’t list tomatoes and shredded cheese, I thought we had some. I didn’t see or even think about lettuce.

Guess when we realized we didn’t have lettuce?

Melinda figured it out while she was preparing the vegetables. At the time my husband and I were across town at a doctor’s appointment. Between the length of the appointment and rush hour traffic, we arrived not long before dinner time. So we ate our tacos without lettuce.

It is December and I’m sure many people are still rushing around trying to get last-minute gifts, but I prefer to plan. I have exactly one gift left to wrap. Other than that all I need to do is the treats for the stockings, which I can’t do much in advance unless I want to buy those two or three times before I need them.

The only other things to do are chores and finances, both of which are under control at the moment, by some miracle. So I’m left with three choices. Tidying up my currently a bit of a disaster corner of the room, do some handcrafts, or work on my writing.

I have no projects right now. I have some ideas but I don’t have the yarn yet. I do have handcraft supplies, but I don’t have any ideas for them. The yarn I have is all leftovers from other projects, so not enough for the projects I have in mind.

So writing.

I could edit any of the three wips I’ve managed to get to the end on. Just which one and what edits do they need? Two of them need quite a bit of work since they could both use some content changes. For the other one, I need to do some line edits but I think the story itself is working.

I could work on it, but I’m honestly afraid too. Mostly because I figured out the content errors on the other two while I was attempting to do some line edits. So I guess that means figuring out which one will be easier to fix. The one I may have to revert to a previous version on or the one I have to either add to or change a great deal of the content and fix a timeline issue. The timeline issue was why I stalled out on working on it last month.

Of course, I also need to look for employment since it’s clear we can’t cover our budget with just my husband’s income anymore. I was hoping between not having to go many places (i.e.: using less gas) and having fewer people to feed (my oldest son moved out) not to mention not needing supplies to pack any lunches that our budgetary needs would decrease.

Good news. Our gas budget has gone down. Last month we used about a quarter of what I usually budget for. (Two tanks instead of eight in a month.) And the cost of gas seems to be coming down.

More good news. Even though we are now buying Kleenex and disinfectant wipes, we’re still not spending as much on household supplies.

Bad news. Grocery prices must be increasing or we’re just plain eating more because our budgetary needs in this area have increased over the last couple of months, even with our efforts to cut costs.

All of which means we need more money coming in.

This means, I have to figure out how to get my unemployment benefits started (I am eligible) and try to look for work, which, because of current conditions, means looking and applying online. I guess I’m busy after all.

Another thing on my schedule in the next week is celebrating my son’s birthday, though I don’t know when.

He is currently working extra-long days and workweeks. His weekends start on Monday and he is usually spending the day catching up on sleep. His birthday is Monday.  So maybe Tuesday.

Happy birthday Tony.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Writing & Patches

 I want a break from my computer.

That doesn’t sound very good when you consider a couple years ago, I got over 90k in the month of November, and this year I barely managed to get 50k and that on the 29^th of the month!

When Tom was alive, I could reach 50k by Thanksgiving, or even the day before, this year more often than not, I took a nap after work instead of writing. If it hadn’t been for Zoom based write-ins, I might not have finished at all! At least I had something to focus me because the rest of the time I was working, napping, or distracted by my phone.

Maybe what I should do is turn my ringer off anytime I want to sit down and write.

Though that wouldn’t help completely because you see, Patches has a tendency to decide he wants my attention as soon as I open my laptop.

I swear, he’ll be napping across the room and as soon as I open my laptop, he jumps onto my add-a-space (what I use for a desk) wanting my attention. You would think he was a kid, not a cat.

I mean, I know the tendency of kids to always seem to know when their mother was busy and absolutely need their mother at that very second. Kids always interrupt their mother as soon as she sits on the john or puts a phone to her ear. Konnie has complained about this several times, and I promise, I have seen it myself. But I’ve never seen that in a cat!

And worse still, Patches follows me all over the house, I swear, when you walk by my apartment whatever window he’s in, that’s the room I’m in nine times out of ten.

Of course, that’s if he’s in a window, and also is contingent on if I have company or not.

Patches loves to go outside, but if someone knocks on my door? Boom his gone, hiding in my room somewhere. If they stay long enough, or if he knows them already, he will come out, but at first, he hides.

I have seen house cats, as in cats that never go outside, hide from visitors, but never a cat that goes outside every time I open the door. It isn’t as though there aren’t other people around my building during the day, because there are, it is an apartment building after all, albeit a small one, but the only time he’s ever decided he didn’t want to go out after all was once when the garbage truck was out front getting the dumpster and another time when it was raining pretty hard.

Boy did he dive back into the house that time!

Oh, I almost forgot a couple of times when he heard a dog barking nearby, not even a big dog, it was clearly a smaller size just by the tone of the bark and this is a cat that lived in a house with labs and Labradoodles for the first eight weeks of his life. But I promise, a few weeks ago, as I backing out of my driveway, I spotted a small mutt (this dog was about the same size as Patches, but I couldn’t distinguish a bred) come over the divide between the land our building is on and the neighboring land, and Patches, upon seeing him, arched his back, hissed, the whole nine yards. 

So, I guess maybe he isn’t all that fearless, but man I never expected that! Had I not been running late at the point; I’d have stopped and let him back in.

Newsflash, he was fine when I returned after work.

Though I have to admit at one point I thought maybe Patches was afraid of men. Based on the fact that on the day my male landlord came with two male helpers to do a bunch of repairs and maintenance and the entire time they were in and out of my apartment, Patches would run and hide when they came in, and tiptoe out, like he was checking if it was all clear, the second they left, then disappear again when they returned.

But he blew that all away when a friend of mine called and asked me if I wanted the Sacrament brought to me because her husband was willing and able. I agreed and thought Patches, who knew my friend from previous visits might just come out after a minute, but wouldn’t go to her husband.

So, who does Patches go to first?

Her husband!

Okay, he’s not afraid of men after all.

Sometimes I feel like he’s acting like a toddler! Following me everywhere, demanding attention when I’m busy, and occasionally throwing tantrums!

Happy writing everyone!