Procrastination and Time Blindness by Bonnie Le Hamilton

This has been quite a week, starting with Konnie’s youngest son calling me around 9 PM last Tuesday night to inform me their house was experiencing internet issues which had yet to be resolved. That is basically all he said. I groaned but let him know I got the message and I would see what I could do.

I was tired, I wanted to get some sleep. I did actually try to get some sleep at first, then I finally gave up and opened my laptop, still thinking about Royce’s call.

His rapid fire statement still ricocheting in my head. Why me?

The answer was of course, our blog is just the two of us, it is after all about life as mirror twins, which we are. But dang, last-minute warnings are no fun.

Honestly I figured I deserved that for spacing what day of the week it was the week before. I told myself at least I got a warning, unlike Konnie the week before, and tried to get my mind to concentrate on something to write.

It was getting late, and I didn’t have enough, but it was better than nothing when last Wednesday morning less than a half hour before the post was supposed to go up Konnie called.

I answered telling her I was still working on it.

She called to inform me her internet was back up, and she had managed to get to a post up.

All that panic for nothing!

Konnie told me to look on the bright side, at least I had a post started and I had a whole week to finish it.

I think she’s forgotten that I am diagnosed with both ADHD and Autism. In other words, I tend to be time blind. Everything is either now or not now. I have a hard time seeing things any other way.

One week to tweak and edit a post? Plenty of time.

Five days to work on my post? Other things need done first.

Two days away? I’ve still got plenty of time.

You get the picture.

I’m now sitting here in the middle of the night typing away because I didn’t bother working on it during the day. After all, noon on Tuesday is a long way before 9 AM on Wednesday.

It’s Wednesday, and I should be asleep.

Yes, I’m a bit of nigh owl. Not this bad though. At least not every day. And I am trying to get to bed earlier. The problem would be that I didn’t sleep much on Monday night, so I slept off and on Tuesday instead.

I’m awake right now. This is going to throw my sleep schedule so out of wack it may be weeks before I am back on the schedule I was trying to establish.

Then again, I was only trying to establish a better routine. Habits take four weeks to become routine. I may never reach that mark.

This is the problem with being both ADHD and Autistic. In the ADHD mind routine is bad and to be avoided, in the Autistic mind routine is necessary. The battle is to establish routine that works without annoying the ADHD side of me.

Anyone who is both knows how hard this is.

I also suffer from executive function paralysis. Meaning, I know what I need to do, but I can’t seem to get my body to start on it.

Let’s face it, I finally got my shopping done this month because my neighbor needed to go shopping too, and her car isn’t working. I literally finally made it to the store because my friend needed to go too. I’d been telling myself to get up and go to the store for three weeks at that point.

I mean I’d been out of bread for two weeks by that time, and I still hadn’t made it to the store, even though I could have, if I’d gotten off my duff and left my house.

This is the problem with having my issues, and I’m not alone with this. Anyone with my diagnosed sensory issues will have the same kind of issues.

Okay, Konnie’s oldest admits to having these kinds of issues, and she’s got two little girls depending on her!

I honestly thought getting a diagnosis would make life easier for me, but all it has done is give me insight into why I do (or don’t do) the things I do.

The biggest one is it explained why I like my collections.

I’ve had people see me bring more books, or Nativities into the house, and ask, “Don’t you have enough already?”

Uh, maybe? I’m working on it. I have actually stopped buying more Nativities, but am still acquiring more books, and Barbies.

Anyway, happy writing, everyone!