The etiquette for asking favors by Bonnie Le Hamilton

I’m assuming that everyone knows the problems of trying to get where you need or want to be when you have no means to transport yourself there on your own. I think everyone has been there at some point or other in their life.

Either when they were a teen but not yet licensed, or as an adult without a car of his or her own, whether it was because they couldn’t afford it yet, or because their car was in the shop, there’s always a reason, but we’ve all been there.

I went through a period of time when I did have a car, but I couldn’t drive it, because I couldn’t safely get behind the wheel (i.e. I could get there, but the buckle on my seat belt extension would collide with the steering wheel, making it difficult to turn, ergo, I couldn’t do it safely). So, during that time I either waited for my husband to take me, or a called for friends or family to do it.

I was glad when I finally lost enough weight to get behind the wheel again, and I’ll be happy when I can have a car again, but I know what’s like to be without, to have to beg for ride. Though I will be grateful for the friend who called out of the blue and let me know she goes to town every weekday afternoon, if I ever needed a ride.

But I also know what its like to be the one giving rides, and I think there should be some rules of etiquette for this.

Again, I’m speaking from experience having been the one giving rides.

So, here they are:

First −You are not the center of the universe, your friends or relatives has a life of their own, they are not sitting around waiting for you to call, so please remember this, and be courteous, never call for last minutes rides, unless it’s an emergency.

And I must stress that an emergency is not craving some snack foods you don’t currently have at home, nor is it an emergency to have to run errands. If you can’t plan those out a day or two in advance, that’s your problem, not your friends’.

Second − Some people will give rides without expecting compensation, but be considerate of any friends or relatives who are having financial problems, and at least offer them gas money (and I mean offer expecting to pay – as in hand them some money – they may not take it, but at least you tried). This is especially true if they are going out of their way for you. That said, I’ve only ever given gas money to one friend who’s given me rides – the only one with less wherewithal than I have, everyone else won’t hear of it. Though I do try to think of other ways to pay them back. But most the time about all I can do is ask God to bless them, and believe me I do that. They are a godsend.

Third − Remember to thank them. Thank them when they agree to give you a ride, thank them when they pick you up, and thank them when they drop you off, they are doing you a favor, and interrupting their own life to do it.

But that brings us back to number one, they do have life, let them decide when they can fit you into their life, don’t impose on them to drop everything, plan ahead.

This of course does not apply to emergencies. If you have a true emergency, I’m sure your friends and family will understand, but again, is it something you could have planned ahead for, if you’d used your brain?

I’ve called friends for same day doctor’s appointments because I needed to be seen right away, but I’ve never, ever called anyone and asked them to take me to the store that day. There’s once when a friend could fit me in the day I called, but I didn’t ask her to do that, she offered – there is a difference.

Back when I had a car, I was giving rides to my sister-in-law all over town, we planned these trips in advance, whether it be to her many doctor’s appointments or just to go shopping, they were put on my calendar well in advance. Especially her doctor’s appointments, since I was with her when they were made. But there was another person who called me for rides, and she never once planned ahead. Every time she called, she expected me to drop everything and run, and she didn’t stop until I lost my car. And at no time was it a true emergency. They were all errands she should have planned ahead for.

Happy writing everyone.