Of Memories and Smiles by Konnie Enos

I like reading the Miss Manners column. (I might learn something about good behavior.) This past weekend I was reading some of her recent columns and came across a letter from the mother of the bride. She had been divorced from the bride’s father for over two decades and she had little contact with him during the intervening years, plus she did not know his family. All would be in attendance at the wedding.

Now the letter was about her concerns for making this event less uncomfortable for this group of veritable strangers, but while I read it I remembered the story of another wedding reception where the parents of the groom had been divorced for over 20 years. The groom was their youngest. It should also be noted that while their children were in their late teens the father bodily threw the mother out of his house, with good cause. (I secretly applauded his actions.)

Within a few years, he then moved his family to a different state without ever seeing or even speaking to his ex since he threw her out. (Be assured, he had seen his children, just not their mother.)

During the intervening years, their three older children had managed to get married without both parents being there to witness it. The oldest eloped. The next two pretty much eloped as they planned their big days in less than two weeks. Due to proximity, the second child had only the mother there, and the third had only the father. By the time this wedding takes place, it’s been well over a decade since their last face-to-face encounter.

Now the son and his bride took nearly a full year to plan their big event including taking into account the weather since the father would have to drive through the mountains to get there. They planned a fall wedding, rather than in the middle of winter. Both parents can and would be there, if not all the siblings.

I heard no stories about how the actual wedding went down but one has to assume that the parents of the groom had no face-to-face confrontations based solely on what happened next.

Now it must be understood that both of them are now pushing 60. She’s grown a bit rounder and has more gray hair. He has a full head of receding gray hair and now needs a cane. He’s also rounder. One can safely say he’d aged more in the last few years than she had, though he was still recognizable.

Now cue the reception.

Since the father and mother weren’t known to get along, and both parents were there with their current spouse, not to mention the father’s health issues, they had forgone a reception line.

Well, the mother of the groom felt it was important that she should greet all the guests and introduce herself to any she didn’t know. She, therefore, was wandering around the room talking to everyone.

The father, however, health being the issue, was sitting at one of the tables only talking to or greeting those who came up to him. Just an older gentleman sitting with his hands resting on a nicely carved cane, sitting, for the moment, alone at a table.

Spotting him, the mother walked over holding out her hand, and happily asked him how he knew the happy couple. Then she added. “I’m the groom’s mother.”

Now I’m not exactly sure of his actions at this point, but I can imagine he didn’t take her hand and he may well have rolled his eyes or audibly sighed in an exasperated manner. All I do know is what he responded. “I know Grace.” (Yes, her name is Grace.) “I’m the groom’s father.”

Now I did not have the good fortune to be able to attend this blessed event due to distance and the impending arrival of my firstborn. But when I heard about it well after the fact I found it hilarious that she hadn’t recognized him and went so far as to introduce herself to the man she had four children with.

This wedding took place thirty years ago this fall. Both parents have since passed on. The bride and groom are now grandparents and due to multiple strokes, he is in the last years of dementia. So the only ones who were at the wedding and can remember it are the bride and the groom’s then stepmother.

All I have is the memory of Dad telling me about his encounter with Momma at Bryon’s wedding.

What memories bring a smile to your face? I’d love to hear them. Let’s give everyone something to smile about.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.