I like reading the Miss
Manners column. (I might learn something about good behavior.) This past
weekend I was reading some of her recent columns and came across a letter from
the mother of the bride. She had been divorced from the bride’s father for over
two decades and she had little contact with him during the intervening years,
plus she did not know his family. All would be in attendance at the wedding.
Now the letter was about
her concerns for making this event less uncomfortable for this group of veritable
strangers, but while I read it I remembered the story of another wedding
reception where the parents of the groom had been divorced for over 20 years.
The groom was their youngest. It should also be noted that while their children
were in their late teens the father bodily threw the mother out of his house, with
good cause. (I secretly applauded his actions.)
Within a few years, he
then moved his family to a different state without ever seeing or even speaking
to his ex since he threw her out. (Be assured, he had seen his children, just not
their mother.)
During the intervening
years, their three older children had managed to get married without both
parents being there to witness it. The oldest eloped. The next two pretty much
eloped as they planned their big days in less than two weeks. Due to proximity,
the second child had only the mother there, and the third had only the father. By
the time this wedding takes place, it’s been well over a decade since their
last face-to-face encounter.
Now the son and his bride
took nearly a full year to plan their big event including taking into account
the weather since the father would have to drive through the mountains to get
there. They planned a fall wedding, rather than in the middle of winter. Both
parents can and would be there, if not all the siblings.
I heard no stories about
how the actual wedding went down but one has to assume that the parents of the
groom had no face-to-face confrontations based solely on what happened next.
Now it must be understood
that both of them are now pushing 60. She’s grown a bit rounder and has more
gray hair. He has a full head of receding gray hair and now needs a cane. He’s
also rounder. One can safely say he’d aged more in the last few years than she
had, though he was still recognizable.
Now cue the reception.
Since the father and
mother weren’t known to get along, and both parents were there with their
current spouse, not to mention the father’s health issues, they had forgone a
reception line.
Well, the mother of the
groom felt it was important that she should greet all the guests and introduce
herself to any she didn’t know. She, therefore, was wandering around the room
talking to everyone.
The father, however,
health being the issue, was sitting at one of the tables only talking to or
greeting those who came up to him. Just an older gentleman sitting with his
hands resting on a nicely carved cane, sitting, for the moment, alone at a
table.
Spotting him, the mother
walked over holding out her hand, and happily asked him how he knew the happy
couple. Then she added. “I’m the groom’s mother.”
Now I’m not exactly sure
of his actions at this point, but I can imagine he didn’t take her hand and he
may well have rolled his eyes or audibly sighed in an exasperated manner. All I
do know is what he responded. “I know Grace.” (Yes, her name is Grace.) “I’m
the groom’s father.”
Now I did not have the
good fortune to be able to attend this blessed event due to distance and the impending
arrival of my firstborn. But when I heard about it well after the fact I found
it hilarious that she hadn’t recognized him and went so far as to introduce
herself to the man she had four children with.
This wedding took place thirty
years ago this fall. Both parents have since passed on. The bride and groom are
now grandparents and due to multiple strokes, he is in the last years of
dementia. So the only ones who were at the wedding and can remember it are the
bride and the groom’s then stepmother.
All I have is the memory
of Dad telling me about his encounter with Momma at Bryon’s wedding.
What memories bring a
smile to your face? I’d love to hear them. Let’s give everyone something to
smile about.
Smile. Make the day a brighter day.
