Autism And Me by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

This last week my niece, Claire, received the official diagnosis she is on the Spectrum. This has been quite a journey for our family.

I can’t remember how long ago it was, a couple of years at least, if not more, but Claire sent her mother (Konnie) an article about adult women who are on the spectrum. Claire sent it to Konnie because she felt the article described herself and she wanted her mother’s opinion. Konnie read the article and found more that described me than it did Claire.

This is not to say that it didn’t describe Claire, it’s just that I do more of the things it listed.

Within a couple of months of reading that article, I went to a psychiatrist who asked me a ton of questions, noted my answers, and sure enough I am on the Spectrum.

Claire had a harder time finding someone who would evaluate her.

Anyway, each time I read more about adult women who have gone undiagnosed and or unrecognized as being on the spectrum, I find something I did or still do.

I have previously mentioned how my mother made excuses for me not looking people in the eye, and my stepmother yelled at me for playing with my hair while I was studying, but I’ve done some other things that were obvious signs.

I recently came across this meme:

Me: I’m Autistic.

My parents: There were no signs.

Me as a child:

n  Eats food in order (in my case my least favorite food to my most favorite food)

n  Wouldn’t wear certain fabrics (or in my case hats)

n  Food aversions (absolutely!)

n  Lining up toys (I don’t recall doing this one)

n  Organizing things in order (I am a little OCD)

n  Extreme obsessions

n  Violent meltdowns (YIP!)

n  Huge imagination (Duh)

n  Couldn’t express feelings (true)

n  Kept getting in trouble for being rude (big time)

n  Scared of social situations

n  Particularly good at problem solving puzzles but not knowing simple things like the meaning of words (I didn’t have this problem, not with Dictionary for a big sister)

n  Repeating sounds or sayings I hear from other people or the TV.

n  Verbally stimming

n  Physically stimming

n  fidgeting

I didn’t do all of these, but I did quite a few. I also have to point out that both of my parents were dead long before Claire read that article, so they never had a chance to say there were no signs, but I think they might have.

Perhaps, I should ask my stepmother her opinion.

Then again, maybe not. I read one meme that stated that Autism is highly genetic. Then it went on to say there is a huge flaw in the diagnosis process where parents are expected to know if there is anything “different” about their child, but well, how are they to know when its likely their whole family is on the spectrum?

Of course, when I was growing up Autism effected only white boys, period, and the big one was that they were nonverbal. Not even the pros of that era would have considered me as being on the spectrum.

I am white, but very much female, and I was never nonverbal. Konnie and I did use “twin speak” when we were little, which is why we took speech therapy in our early years of grade school. And I have mentioned this before. I was never nonverbal; We were just slow to speak in a language the adults around us understood.

This is actually a common problem with twins, particularly identical twins.

But aside from all that, reading up on it, I have found some other things I did or still do that place me on the spectrum.

We can start with scratching and or picking at scabs. Yes, that’s on the list.

Another one is constantly rehearsing conversations or interactions.

May often, fidget, chew, tap, or do other repetitive behaviors.

May struggle with situations that are unfamiliar (absolutely true!)

May chew, rub, or tap certain materials obsessively.

I could go on; the list is pretty long.

What I find most interesting is that on the top of list of “bizarre neurodivergence things” is something called “nesting.” On the spectrum, “Nesting” is having a certain spot, and having certain things nearby to that spot at all times.

You can ask Konnie, I do that.
Nobody, and I mean nobody has any trouble figuring out where I sit in my living room, even if I’m not sitting at the moment.

By the way, I also tend to mimic people in order to blend in. I’ve caught myself doing it a time or two.

Anyway, happy writing everyone! And Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!