Of Gifts and Birthdays by Konnie Enos

My oldest posted yesterday about the small number of gifts under her Christmas tree, and why they weren’t doing more. She mentioned what Christmas was like growing up, with the effort I put into gift-giving. Which got me thinking about what Christmas was like for me growing up.

Some years, we were lucky if there was anything under the tree or in our stockings. In others, it took us hours to open everything. The big difference was well, Momma couldn’t provide as much as Dad could. There were reasons for this, none of which was Dad being a deadbeat dad. He did all he could. It's just things were better financially the years we lived with him.

Anyway, I never wanted my kids to feel those lean years. I tried so hard.

I scrimped all year, so I’d have some money for gifts. Some years, that even worked. For other years, I pulled together scraps of cloth and yarn and made doll blankets for my girls. One year I put together a simple picture book with construction paper, printer paper, my rough drawings, and a poem I wrote. When I had money, I spent most of it at thrift stores. And I found charities, even Toys for Tots, to sign up for, just to make sure they had something.

One year, I’d managed to sign up for Toys for Tots, made them something (the book), and saved some money for Christmas. On top of Toys for Tots giving us tons, our congregation provided us with a bunch too. It was probably our biggest Christmas.

I remember that year, I was told I could only sign up the kids I already had for Toys for Tots, not the one I was expecting near Christmas. When it came time to pick up what they had for us, my baby was a few days old. They let me pick up a couple of small things for him too because he’d been born a couple of weeks earlier than expected.

Even after our finances became, well, steady, and putting money aside each month for gifts was possible, we’d frequently run into unplanned financial strains, like car repairs. Or replacing broken appliances. The help I sought and some that just found us was always a blessing.

One thing I can say is that my methods of gift-giving have changed over the years. One, I no longer look for charities to help. My kids are adults now, and we have a steady income so I can usually save enough for Christmas. (Usually, baring unforeseen events like replacing appliances or major repairs on expensive items, like cars, or central air conditioning systems.)

There are other changes too.

I used to aim to spend the same amount on everyone. This could end up with one person getting a big stack of less expensive gifts and another getting only one or two more expensive ones.

Then I tried spreading the money out over three or four gifts each. This didn’t allow for nicer gifts but at least everyone was getting the same number. This method also made it difficult to find enough ideas for gifts for everyone.

Then I found the suggestion to get each person exactly three gifts, something they could use (such as clothes), something to read (yes, a book), and something fun.

I tried it for one year. Two family members (who shall remain nameless) complained about the books (for different reasons). I seem to recall one or two (or maybe three) objecting to my choice of useful things (the clothes).

I dropped that idea quickly.

Now I aim for one or two gifts each and try to find things the recipient will appreciate. (And that can be hard with the guys in our family.) To keep in mind my limited funds, I have a price range for each gift. Some I might go over a bit, but others I go under, so I don’t end up not having enough gifts for everyone.

Anyway, we aren’t taking several hours just opening gifts. Hopefully, everyone is getting things they like. (No more complaints.) And on the plus side, I don’t have to spend days, or all night on Christmas Eve, wrapping gifts. This year I finished shopping and had wrapped all but the pet gifts, before Thanksgiving, which is my goal. I can spend December focusing on other things. Like the reason we celebrate Christmas.

I didn’t know I’d be spending this month isolating with covid but at least I don’t have to worry about what I still need to do for Christmas while I’m recuperating. And I’m still remembering that Anthony will be 24 tomorrow.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.