Every year, at the start
of each new one, we hear a lot about making resolutions. We also hear a great
deal about people breaking them within a short time. And that’s not counting
all the people who never set these yearly goals.
I got to thinking about
why so many people fail at them.
To replace a bad habit with a good one, I've heard that you have to consistently do the good one
for two weeks. Yet some people can try for a month or more and still peter out.
I’m one of those people who gave up doing them several decades ago because I
never lasted very long, and I inevitably went back to my old habits.
I hadn’t even attempted
to work on any goals in years, and then I started back to school.
For both my first and
second semesters, I had two different classes requiring me to commit to one goal. I did, but both semesters I either never really started on
them, petered out before the end, or just dropped them as soon as I reported my
efforts to the teacher.
I
looked at is why I didn’t continue working on them. I’d had some hope that the
approach to goals one of my teachers took this last semester would help me stay
on track, but I stopped as soon as the semester ended.
So
I examined my goals. While doing so, I realized I always completed one of my
goals. One that I generally started working on first thing in the morning. I often forgot the rest until I noticed the day was nearly over.
Then I’d scramble to do just enough to count it. I wasn’t making good habits.
The one teacher's approach was to have us first write some statements
about what we wanted to become. One example was, “I am becoming kinder.” We had
to write three or four such statements.
Then
we had to write an accountability contract, saying not only who we were
accountable to (reporting our failures and success to) but what would be the
punishment for failure. The example was worded as a punishment, but the directions
said it could be a reward instead. These contracts also had fine print about
our acceptable excuses for not doing a goal on any given day.
Most of my classmates
followed the example given and chose punishments for failure. One student used
a reward instead. He is a young, very social college kid on campus. He said he
could go out with friends if he completed his goals the day before. He even
followed through and had to miss out on some fun!
This got me thinking
about the young man’s positive reinforcements.
What if I set a reward
instead of a punishment?
Assuming I’d yet again have
an assignment to set and follow through on a goal. I decided to try the accountability
contract again with a reward. And since I could complete things I
started in the morning, I figured I’d have to make getting the hardest ones
done the first part of my new plans.
With this in mind, I
reexamined my goals. Tweaked some of them and added a couple of new ones. I
made sure I had daily, weekly and monthly goals. I updated my contract, this
time with a reward.
I was concerned about
starting them, but my desire to attempt this new plan helped me put
in the effort.
Since January 1st,
I’ve been getting up every morning, doing my exercises, and studying my
scriptures. Not to mention a few other goals.
I’m carefully tracking
which ones I complete each day and, at the end of the day, I can honestly say I’ve
earned my reward. Well, mostly, I’m still struggling with one of them, but the
rest I’m getting down. One day I couldn’t complete a goal in the morning
because of time constants, and I felt weird all day until I could finally fit it
in.
I realize it’s only a
little over a week, but it’s starting to look like I might just manage to form
some good habits this time.
Did you make any New Year’s
resolutions? How are they going? How do you motivate yourself to accomplish them?
Here’s
to a happy and prosperous New Year!
Smile.
Make the day a brighter day.
