Of New Years and Goals by Konnie Enos

 

Every year, at the start of each new one, we hear a lot about making resolutions. We also hear a great deal about people breaking them within a short time. And that’s not counting all the people who never set these yearly goals.

I got to thinking about why so many people fail at them.

To replace a bad habit with a good one, I've heard that you have to consistently do the good one for two weeks. Yet some people can try for a month or more and still peter out. I’m one of those people who gave up doing them several decades ago because I never lasted very long, and I inevitably went back to my old habits.

I hadn’t even attempted to work on any goals in years, and then I started back to school.

For both my first and second semesters, I had two different classes requiring me to commit to one goal. I did, but both semesters I either never really started on them, petered out before the end, or just dropped them as soon as I reported my efforts to the teacher.

I looked at is why I didn’t continue working on them. I’d had some hope that the approach to goals one of my teachers took this last semester would help me stay on track, but I stopped as soon as the semester ended.

So I examined my goals. While doing so, I realized I always completed one of my goals. One that I generally started working on first thing in the morning. I often forgot the rest until I noticed the day was nearly over. Then I’d scramble to do just enough to count it. I wasn’t making good habits.

The one teacher's approach was to have us first write some statements about what we wanted to become. One example was, “I am becoming kinder.” We had to write three or four such statements.

Then we had to write an accountability contract, saying not only who we were accountable to (reporting our failures and success to) but what would be the punishment for failure. The example was worded as a punishment, but the directions said it could be a reward instead. These contracts also had fine print about our acceptable excuses for not doing a goal on any given day.

Most of my classmates followed the example given and chose punishments for failure. One student used a reward instead. He is a young, very social college kid on campus. He said he could go out with friends if he completed his goals the day before. He even followed through and had to miss out on some fun!

This got me thinking about the young man’s positive reinforcements.

What if I set a reward instead of a punishment?

Assuming I’d yet again have an assignment to set and follow through on a goal. I decided to try the accountability contract again with a reward. And since I could complete things I started in the morning, I figured I’d have to make getting the hardest ones done the first part of my new plans.

With this in mind, I reexamined my goals. Tweaked some of them and added a couple of new ones. I made sure I had daily, weekly and monthly goals. I updated my contract, this time with a reward.

I was concerned about starting them, but my desire to attempt this new plan helped me put in the effort.

Since January 1^st, I’ve been getting up every morning, doing my exercises, and studying my scriptures. Not to mention a few other goals.

I’m carefully tracking which ones I complete each day and, at the end of the day, I can honestly say I’ve earned my reward. Well, mostly, I’m still struggling with one of them, but the rest I’m getting down. One day I couldn’t complete a goal in the morning because of time constants, and I felt weird all day until I could finally fit it in.  

I realize it’s only a little over a week, but it’s starting to look like I might just manage to form some good habits this time.

Did you make any New Year’s resolutions? How are they going? How do you motivate yourself to accomplish them?

Here’s to a happy and prosperous New Year!

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.