I
honestly thought I knew what stimming was, but when my daughter started talking
about it to me not long ago I found I was somewhat clueless.
You
see, I can remember seeing shows where the young autistic boy was sitting and
rocking or repeatedly flipping his hands back and forth. I knew people said
that was stimming. I didn’t know it was only part of the picture and I should
have because I have one child for sure one the spectrum and we suspect two of
his now adult sisters as well. However none of them have ever done the “classical”
stimming behavior.
So
what is stimming?
Stimming
is self-stimulating behaviors, usually involving repetitive movements or
sounds.
From
what I learned, nearly everybody stims in some way at some time. Biting nails,
twirling their hair around a finger, drumming fingers, repeatedly tapping a pen
or pencil, or constantly humming. Any habit your do to relieve tension, boredom
or stress, often when you’re not aware you’re even doing it is stimming.
Usually
our stimming behavior is not only harmless, but we can pick up on social cues
when it’s annoying others, such as when we are drumming our fingers, and manage
to stop. People with Autism don’t always pick up on the social cues and can’t
easily stop because they use it to help process their environment in a way they
can handle.
Remember
I said my children don’t do the “classical” stimming behaviors. Well they have
done things that are considered stimming behavior.
At
one point my son was pulling out his hair to the point he had bald spots. My one
daughter, among other things, bites her nails.
My
youngest daughter, the one who brought this topic up? Well in this household we
call our hallway hers. If she is home and not in her room studying or the
kitchen cooking or eating then you’d better be cautious entering the hallway
because she might plow into you. It’s a safe bet she’s there alternating between
pacing, running and SKIPPING, up and down it, repeatedly, for hours sometimes.
As
I stated, most people stim to relieve stress or boredom. There is the general belief
those with Autism use stimming to decrease sensory over load, adapt to an unfamiliar
environment, reduce anxiety, calm themselves, vent frustration, and/or avoid
certain activities. My daughter says it helps her process
information, in other words, her brain works differently. Which is the point.
Autistic brains are wired differently, so they process stimulus differently.
Though
why my daughter brought it up was because some people advocate the idea of
stopping ALL stimming in those with Autism. I’m assuming the people who support
this position feel stimming is a purely Autistic behavior and it sets these people
apart from normal people and therefore to help them ‘fit in’ they have to stop
the stimming.
When
she mentioned this, along with a clear description of everything which
constitutes stimming I had a very clear vision of me, as a young girl repeating
a self-soothing behavior, one I did often without even thinking about it. My
father detested me doing this and bopped me on the head, telling me to stop.
Guess
what getting bopped on the head did to me.
That’s
right. It stressed me out.
So
my immediate response was wanting to do the very thing my father did NOT want
me to do. In the end I usually left the room so he couldn’t see me. So he only
got me to stop it in his presence.
I
know Autistic people are wired differently but I simply can’t imagine forcing
them to stop is going to have the desired effect any more than it worked on me.
Plus I can’t fathom why you even need to unless their behavior is actually
harmful to themselves or others or in some cases, IF they are high enough functioning
to understand, when it is annoying to those around them. (That constant tapping
or drumming can get on your nerves.)
When
my son started giving himself bald in spots we shaved his head and pretty much
kept it shaved for years. Now those bald spots have grown back and he seems to
have outgrown that particular stim. We’ve encouraged my daughter in her efforts
to stop biting her nails because she will chew them until she bleeds. Both
these stims are self-harming.
Our
youngest daughter?
We
just tell anyone who visits to be careful in the hallway. It might be a bit
annoying to have her going up and down the hall all the time, but she isn’t
hurting anybody and we can all live with it.
Sometimes
the best way to help people ‘fit in’ is to accept them just as they are. April
is Autism awareness month, let’s spread the acceptance and love.
Smile.
Make the day a brighter day.
