Of Gifts and Birthdays by Konnie Enos

My oldest posted yesterday about the small number of gifts under her Christmas tree, and why they weren’t doing more. She mentioned what Christmas was like growing up, with the effort I put into gift-giving. Which got me thinking about what Christmas was like for me growing up.

Some years, we were lucky if there was anything under the tree or in our stockings. In others, it took us hours to open everything. The big difference was well, Momma couldn’t provide as much as Dad could. There were reasons for this, none of which was Dad being a deadbeat dad. He did all he could. It's just things were better financially the years we lived with him.

Anyway, I never wanted my kids to feel those lean years. I tried so hard.

I scrimped all year, so I’d have some money for gifts. Some years, that even worked. For other years, I pulled together scraps of cloth and yarn and made doll blankets for my girls. One year I put together a simple picture book with construction paper, printer paper, my rough drawings, and a poem I wrote. When I had money, I spent most of it at thrift stores. And I found charities, even Toys for Tots, to sign up for, just to make sure they had something.

One year, I’d managed to sign up for Toys for Tots, made them something (the book), and saved some money for Christmas. On top of Toys for Tots giving us tons, our congregation provided us with a bunch too. It was probably our biggest Christmas.

I remember that year, I was told I could only sign up the kids I already had for Toys for Tots, not the one I was expecting near Christmas. When it came time to pick up what they had for us, my baby was a few days old. They let me pick up a couple of small things for him too because he’d been born a couple of weeks earlier than expected.

Even after our finances became, well, steady, and putting money aside each month for gifts was possible, we’d frequently run into unplanned financial strains, like car repairs. Or replacing broken appliances. The help I sought and some that just found us was always a blessing.

One thing I can say is that my methods of gift-giving have changed over the years. One, I no longer look for charities to help. My kids are adults now, and we have a steady income so I can usually save enough for Christmas. (Usually, baring unforeseen events like replacing appliances or major repairs on expensive items, like cars, or central air conditioning systems.)

There are other changes too.

I used to aim to spend the same amount on everyone. This could end up with one person getting a big stack of less expensive gifts and another getting only one or two more expensive ones.

Then I tried spreading the money out over three or four gifts each. This didn’t allow for nicer gifts but at least everyone was getting the same number. This method also made it difficult to find enough ideas for gifts for everyone.

Then I found the suggestion to get each person exactly three gifts, something they could use (such as clothes), something to read (yes, a book), and something fun.

I tried it for one year. Two family members (who shall remain nameless) complained about the books (for different reasons). I seem to recall one or two (or maybe three) objecting to my choice of useful things (the clothes).

I dropped that idea quickly.

Now I aim for one or two gifts each and try to find things the recipient will appreciate. (And that can be hard with the guys in our family.) To keep in mind my limited funds, I have a price range for each gift. Some I might go over a bit, but others I go under, so I don’t end up not having enough gifts for everyone.

Anyway, we aren’t taking several hours just opening gifts. Hopefully, everyone is getting things they like. (No more complaints.) And on the plus side, I don’t have to spend days, or all night on Christmas Eve, wrapping gifts. This year I finished shopping and had wrapped all but the pet gifts, before Thanksgiving, which is my goal. I can spend December focusing on other things. Like the reason we celebrate Christmas.

I didn’t know I’d be spending this month isolating with covid but at least I don’t have to worry about what I still need to do for Christmas while I’m recuperating. And I’m still remembering that Anthony will be 24 tomorrow.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Of Decorations, Food, Family, and Celebrations

 Currently, my mind is on Christmas.

The few presents I have left to wrap, and I’m considering not wrapping them. What food and treats we will need for our celebrations. Then there is the decorating.

Though I’m not sure why the food and decorations are such a big part of nearly all our celebrations. I mean you can enjoy the holidays without indulging in extravagant meals or eating sweets. But it seems we tend to do both.

Anyway, yesterday I was talking to Melinda about our plans for the holiday season. First, what meal we will prepare so we can start planning for it. I fail to see why we must have two such large meals only a month apart. I’m all for making a smaller, simpler meal especially to give some relief to our chief cook (Melinda). She, however, wants a nice meal and I suppose since she is cooking it, it’s her choice.

Then we discussed what treats we would need for the holiday. Pies and cakes seem to be enough sweets to celebrate Thanksgiving, but other holidays require candy for some reason. And there are both traditional (candy canes) and family preferences to consider.

After that, we moved to decorating the house.

I have heard of people who decorate for every holiday and season, but I’ve never done that. Probably because my mother (and stepmother for that matter) never bothered to decorate for any other event.

I like making my house all festive for the season.

The nice big tree in the corner covered in baubles, memories, and lights with brightly wrapped packages underneath. The wreath on the door and lights trimming the exterior of the house. And further greens and lights decorate surfaces within the house.

Then there are the displays.

Christmas villages. Santa and his reindeer. Mistletoe. And, of course, the nativities.

It takes a lot of effort to put out the displays of the season, but I like the result and how it makes a home look and feel. So, Melinda and I discussed what we could do to decorate.

I lost my wreath a few years ago so we talked about getting a new one and ways to prevent it from disappearing from our door. Thankfully we now have a doorbell camera so it might deter someone from stealing. However, that isn’t going to stop the wind from blowing it away, which is what I suspect happened to mine. So, we talked about what we could use to tie the wreath to the door hanger.

Then we talked about our tree, or rather trees, and where we would put it.

Normally we have a six-foot tree we put in the corner of the living room. We currently do not have access to that corner because we have storage there. I suppose the mess in our garage and the clutter elsewhere in our house is the price you pay for marrying a packrat and settling down for nearly two decades in one place.

So, all we have room to put up is our two-foot tree and our few stockings. This year we won’t have a wall of stockings with nearly twenty of them. There are a lot fewer people, and furry family members here now. RIP Reeses, Mabel, and Tiger. Wishing Clarissa and her family could visit again, and that Tina and Bonnie would be able to come.

I might do bodily harm to Tony if he doesn’t come home for the holiday. He won’t be working those days and it’s not like he can’t afford to travel that far. He’s earning good money and it’s only the other side of the state, not two states or more away. Or like Tina, clear across the country.

But I think what I miss most about the holiday is putting out my nativity and Christmas village. I even have a train to go with it now. What I don’t have is room to display them.

Oh, the nativity itself isn’t super huge. It could be put on something as small as a TV tray. So, maybe I could find a corner for it. But I’ve always put them side by side and it feels wrong not to do both. That and I want to see my Christmas village set up since I’ve added pieces to it since the last time I could. My nativity set hasn’t changed in the over thirty years I’ve had it.

I have looked at ways and means to set up a Christmas village without taking up a lot of space but no matter how you go about it, it still needs some space. It’s the space we don’t have.

And finally, the reason we celebrate Christmas. So maybe I do need to find a place for that nativity.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.