Autism and Me by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

I recently came across an article online about what stimming looks like in teens and adults who are undiagnosed as being on the spectrum.

One of the actions they mentioned was an obsession with certain textures and “rubbing” or caressing these materials incessantly. Yeah, I do that. I have done so for as long as I can’t remember when I started. Konnie will back me up on this.

But another one was twirling their hair around their fingers or running their fingers through their hair. And boy did that bring back memories!

In my late teens, I resorted to doing my homework in my bedroom, rather than at the kitchen table with everyone else, because my stepmother was constantly on my case about playing with my hair. She found it annoying, and among other things, she insisted I wasn’t concentrating because I was playing with my hair, and that I wasn’t even trying to stop.

First off, I’d like to point out that this article clearly pointed out that people on the spectrum “stim” more often when they are stressed. The more stress they feel, the more they “stim.” In other words, I found doing my homework stressful, but having my stepmother harping and complaining about my “stimming” actions was just making it worse.

Mind you this was over forty years ago, back in the dark ages when medical professionals instead that Autism only affected boys. Non-verbal boys. Ergo I couldn’t be Autistic.

Second off, around that same time, I overheard my father complaining about how long it took me to do the dishes. He insisted it took me twice as long to do the same amount of dishes as it took my fellow teenaged siblings. My stepmother had countered that at least when I do dishes, she knows they are clean.

I have to admit she had a valid point. I can clearly remember one time when I went into the kitchen to get a drink while my brother was doing the dishes. I grabbed a glass he’d just put in the drain, inspected it, and put it back in his sink full of dirty dishes then I picked up the next one, and repeated the process, much to his annoyance.

I might add that back then I was in the habit of always checking the dishes for cleanliness before using them because far too often I’d found obvious bits of food still stuck to them. Our stepmother tended to do the same, but she was also known to ask, “Have you checked them?” when any of us were setting the table for dinner.

But the point of the matter was that I noticed without her asking. I always checked. In fact, I checked the dishes I’d washed before I put them in the drain. I was, and still am, a bit obsessive about ensuring the dishes are clean. Newsflash, my attention to detail is also a symptom of being on the spectrum!

So, my stepmother groused about one symptom I have and defended another one. I hate to break it to her, but she can’t have it both ways.

On the other hand, I learned that these days medical professionals who once said Autistics were non-verbal are now saying that an early sign of being on the spectrum is delayed speech. Yeah, got that one too.

Though back then my delayed speech was attributed to, number one, an inherent family issue of ear problems including earwax build-up and ear infections, and number two, I’m a twin and as such when we were little, we did what is termed “twin speak” which is talking in our own made-up language.

Konnie and I both ended up taking some speech therapy during school when we were younger, and I honestly still avoid using some words verbally because I have so much difficulty pronouncing them.

In other words, speech delays are common in our family to the point that Konnie was able to get her kids early intervention just by advocating that it was an inherent problem.

Her youngest, who was diagnosed in grade school, had been getting speech and physical therapy since he was a toddler, because of his speech delay.

I remember once Konnie commenting on how he needed so much more help than any of her other kids. As in he was “delayed” in more areas than just speech. When he was officially diagnosed, it all suddenly made sense.

At any rate, it is a good thing that nowadays medical professionals recognize that not all people on the spectrum are non-verbal boys.

Though finally knowing this about me, only makes it easier because at least now I know why I do these things.

Anyway, happy writing everyone!

Of Informative Idioms and Being Neurodiverse by Konnie Enos

 

The other day I was thinking about all the various poems, idioms, and even proverbs that help us remember information or tell us something important.

Things such as:

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

“Red sky at night, sailors delight.

Red sky in morning, sailors take warning.”

Or how about:

“Thirty days has September,

April, June, and November,

all the rest have thirty-one.

February has twenty-eight,

but leap year coming one in four

February then has one day more.”

How many of you can only remember the first few lines of that one? I’m raising my hand. I knew there was more to the poem, but I could never remember it.

There are a lot of sayings like this which we use to convey ideas and information, so it won’t be forgotten. Others include:

“It’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“Better late than never.”

“Actions speak louder than words.”

“You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

“Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”

“The early bird catches the worm.”

“Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

Or my often quoted one:

            “No two people are exactly alike.”

Which kind of goes along with:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

While I was looking up such statements, I also came across one that relays information, I’m just not sure if it’s true information.

“Monday's child is fair of face

Tuesday's child is full of grace

Wednesday's child is full of woe

Thursday's child has far to go

Friday's child is loving and giving

Saturday's child works for its living

And a child that's born on the Sabbath day

Is fair and wise and good and gay.”

I know for a fact three of the people I know were born on Friday, and for a fourth person, it was easy to confirm. All of them can be loving and giving, two of those are among the most loving and giving people I know. Bonnie and I were born on Thursday. If far to go means long life, we’re not there yet. If it means physical travel and moving, I think we qualify.

I also know people born on Monday, one of those on a holiday, and I’m not sure any of them are “fair of face.” However, the people I know who were born on Saturday did “work for a living.” And one thing I can say about the person born on Sunday is that she is intelligent.

However, I cannot say the people I know who were born on Tuesday are full of grace. At least they are certainly not graceful. Is that the same thing?

So, what brought on this contemplation?

I was thinking about two idioms I learned as a kid.

One:

            “In like a lion, out like a lamb.”

And:

            “April showers bring May flowers.”

Why was I thinking about them?

Well, it’s March, and well March doesn’t always come in like a lion. Though I have heard the opposite. “In like a lamb, out like a lion.” But that’s not the common saying.

However, generally, April does tend to have a lot of rainstorms. Rain means plants are watered. Well-watered plants grow. So, showers in April do bring flowers in May.

What else brought on this line of thinking on?

My soon be twenty-one, daily reminder of all things neurodiverse, loveable, quirky, sweet, May Day baby boy.

He makes me laugh. Gives me things to think about and often astounds me with his knowledge. He can also be frustrating with his tenacious laziness and absolute refusal to admit he can read.

I think his catchphrase should be, “Why me, though?” Simply because he asks me this so often when I try to get him to do something, you know, like chores.

My answer is often, “Because you live here too.” And or, “Deal with it.” But sometimes it warrants more explanation, such as, “You’re the tallest one in the house.”

He moans but eventually does what I ask of him.

April is also Autism Awareness month, though I think there is a campaign to change it to Neurodiverse Awareness Month. I like that better so I’m using it.

So, that is what I’ve been thinking about this past week while I’ve been struggling to keep up with my homework and on top of all my obligations. (Admittedly only those for my family members are being met. I can only do so much.)

What informative idioms, proverbs, and poems do you know?

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.