Autism and Me by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

I recently came across an article online about what stimming looks like in teens and adults who are undiagnosed as being on the spectrum.

One of the actions they mentioned was an obsession with certain textures and “rubbing” or caressing these materials incessantly. Yeah, I do that. I have done so for as long as I can’t remember when I started. Konnie will back me up on this.

But another one was twirling their hair around their fingers or running their fingers through their hair. And boy did that bring back memories!

In my late teens, I resorted to doing my homework in my bedroom, rather than at the kitchen table with everyone else, because my stepmother was constantly on my case about playing with my hair. She found it annoying, and among other things, she insisted I wasn’t concentrating because I was playing with my hair, and that I wasn’t even trying to stop.

First off, I’d like to point out that this article clearly pointed out that people on the spectrum “stim” more often when they are stressed. The more stress they feel, the more they “stim.” In other words, I found doing my homework stressful, but having my stepmother harping and complaining about my “stimming” actions was just making it worse.

Mind you this was over forty years ago, back in the dark ages when medical professionals instead that Autism only affected boys. Non-verbal boys. Ergo I couldn’t be Autistic.

Second off, around that same time, I overheard my father complaining about how long it took me to do the dishes. He insisted it took me twice as long to do the same amount of dishes as it took my fellow teenaged siblings. My stepmother had countered that at least when I do dishes, she knows they are clean.

I have to admit she had a valid point. I can clearly remember one time when I went into the kitchen to get a drink while my brother was doing the dishes. I grabbed a glass he’d just put in the drain, inspected it, and put it back in his sink full of dirty dishes then I picked up the next one, and repeated the process, much to his annoyance.

I might add that back then I was in the habit of always checking the dishes for cleanliness before using them because far too often I’d found obvious bits of food still stuck to them. Our stepmother tended to do the same, but she was also known to ask, “Have you checked them?” when any of us were setting the table for dinner.

But the point of the matter was that I noticed without her asking. I always checked. In fact, I checked the dishes I’d washed before I put them in the drain. I was, and still am, a bit obsessive about ensuring the dishes are clean. Newsflash, my attention to detail is also a symptom of being on the spectrum!

So, my stepmother groused about one symptom I have and defended another one. I hate to break it to her, but she can’t have it both ways.

On the other hand, I learned that these days medical professionals who once said Autistics were non-verbal are now saying that an early sign of being on the spectrum is delayed speech. Yeah, got that one too.

Though back then my delayed speech was attributed to, number one, an inherent family issue of ear problems including earwax build-up and ear infections, and number two, I’m a twin and as such when we were little, we did what is termed “twin speak” which is talking in our own made-up language.

Konnie and I both ended up taking some speech therapy during school when we were younger, and I honestly still avoid using some words verbally because I have so much difficulty pronouncing them.

In other words, speech delays are common in our family to the point that Konnie was able to get her kids early intervention just by advocating that it was an inherent problem.

Her youngest, who was diagnosed in grade school, had been getting speech and physical therapy since he was a toddler, because of his speech delay.

I remember once Konnie commenting on how he needed so much more help than any of her other kids. As in he was “delayed” in more areas than just speech. When he was officially diagnosed, it all suddenly made sense.

At any rate, it is a good thing that nowadays medical professionals recognize that not all people on the spectrum are non-verbal boys.

Though finally knowing this about me, only makes it easier because at least now I know why I do these things.

Anyway, happy writing everyone!