Twins and other things by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

I am a writer, promise, even if most of the writing I’ve done this calendar year has been for this blog.

On the other hand, I am also an avid reader, and so far this year, I’ve read quite a number of books, which for me is enormous because I’m such a slow reader.

Though I have started working on my Sci-Fi again. And no, I don’t mean my sort of Sci-Fi Contemporary Romance, I mean my epic war story Sci-Fi, which is looking to be as big as Konnie’s epic war story Sci-Fi. And believe it or not, the only things those two stories have in common is they are Sci-Fi, they are about war, and their writers are mirror twins.

Oh, I almost forgot, we both have characters in our stories who are identical twins. But who can blame us for having twins in our stories? After all, we know a lot about twins.

Actually, I have both identical and fraternal twins in mine, though technically one of the fraternal twins died before my story begins. The heroine is taking care of her dead twin’s children at the start of my story.

In Konnie’s story, one of her identical twins is hiding just how smart he is, while most of the people around him consider his brother the better catch. In her story, Mr. Smarty-pants worked out a solution to what he considered a minor flaw in their ships engines and in the process eliminated a major disadvantage they had against their enemy, all while Mr. Supposedly-a-good-catch has to deal with more than one mighty big blow to his ego and do a whole lot of growing up.

In mine, what I’ve written so far, the hero and heroine are suffering from the delusion that their twins are better. He thinks his twin is smarter, wiser, and craftier, while she thinks her dead twin is better looking, though she also doesn’t consider all the things she can make means she’s gifted with talent, she considers everything she can do as just everyday stuff. She thinks she’s average.

So, I guess we have that in common in our stories too. We both have sets of twins that have very different personalities. Then again, we know from experience that even twins with a lot in common can have very different personalities.

We are a prime example of that.

I’m known for my temper.

When Konnie loses it; duck for cover! Better yet, pray she’s not mad at you!

The last time I saw her throw a snit, I scurried out of the house as fast as I could and stayed away for a couple of hours just to avoid her laying into me too.

And I think I’ve already mentioned that my (normally) gentle, easy-going twin has used a swear word a grand total of once, even if her kids insist, she never swears.

Once in fifty plus years is not never.

I can’t say the same.

There was a time when I made liberal use of such language. Right up until an English teacher told me that using swear words denotes a minuscule vocabulary.

Anyway, it got to me, because even way back then, I didn’t have a small vocabulary. Thanks to our big sister, nicknamed Dictionary, neither of us has ever had a small vocabulary.

Another difference in us is the men we picked to marry. My dearly departed husband once said he only got along with Jerry because he was married to my twin.

In other words, he forced himself to keep a civil tongue while around Jerry because of Konnie and me.

But Jerry drove Tom up the wall, and he could only stand so much of him before he had to get away from Jerry’s company fast! That is mostly because of how outgoing, and talkative Jerry is, but it also extends to the very different interests and hobbies.

Yeah, those two were like night and day. The only thing they had in common was marrying us.

In fact, Tom was a foot taller than me while Jerry is lucky he found a woman shorter than him to marry. Actually, he managed to find a wife so short that her standing next to him makes him look tall!

While me standing next to my husband would only accentuate how short I am.

And don’t think it hasn’t escaped us that our husbands are Tom and Jerry. We got that a long time ago. After I got over calling her nuts for planning to marry a Navy guy despite my four years of experience married to one.

And let’s not get into our pets or the difference in noise levels in our homes.

Anyway, happy writing everyone!

Differences by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

As the title of this blog states, Konnie and I are mirror twins, as in mirror opposites, but not really in personality, unless you count that I am on the spectrum and she isn’t.

Another way we are different is pets.

She has a dog.

I have a cat.

I’m not really much of a dog person, and Konnie tries hard not to call me on garbage day or when the mail is due simply because I can’t stand the cacophony caused not just by her dog, but her husband’s and two daughters’ dogs as well. Multiple dogs yapping their heads off is not pleasant.

I, on the other hand, have to deal with Patches, which sometimes can be trying.

Like the other day, I hurried to the bathroom, as I did so, I noted I didn’t have to avoid Patches underfoot while I ran, but beyond that, I didn’t notice where Patches was.

I entered the bathroom and kicked the door closed. Now I did this because Patches can partially open the living room curtain, and you can see out the window from the toilet if the door is open. I did not, however, push the door all the way into the jamb. It was touching but not in.

Well, I’m just finishing up my business in there when I hear distressed yowling coming from Patches. I rush to the door, my heart hammering in my throat, open it, and Patches look up at me then quietly finds a spot to lay down on the living room floor, as calm as can be.

Ye gads, cat! Talk about giving me a heart attack!

But that isn’t all, the next time I went to take a shower was the complete opposite. Now, whenever I take a shower, I don’t want him jumping in with me, so I close the door all the way. This time I actually closed it in his face, since he was following me.

No big deal, I’ve done it before. He’s usually following me.

But this time he didn’t meow at the door or stick his paws under it while I was getting undressed, which was not usual. Not by a long shot.

As I finished up and got out, well, I expected to find Patches resting somewhere near the door, watching, waiting. That is his usual reaction, but this time there was no cat in sight until I entered my bedroom.

He was chilling on my bed.

Now, I’d like to point out my bathroom door is open, except when in use. In the first instance, Patches didn’t see me enter the bathroom, but clearly, the door was closed, it is only closed when I am in there. So, where was I?

In the second instance, he saw me close the door, so no problem. The only issue was that he didn’t react the way he normally does when I close him out of that room.

I just don’t get why he got upset the first time, and I wonder if that’s how he reacts when I manage to leave the house while he’s napping in the other room. Does he yowl like that until he hears my car pull into the driveway? He always jumps in to the living room window while I’m still braking on those occasions.

All I know is no one has ever complained about him yowling, and he seems fine when I first see him upon my return.

At any rate, I know Konnie doesn’t have those issues, both because her dog follows her all over the house and because if Konnie ever managed to get in the bathroom without Mable seeing her, well there are other people, and dogs, in her house.

She also doesn’t have another issue I’ve had in the last couple of weeks.

The other day, I thought I was out of clean bath towels. Emphasis on “thought.”

So, with that in mind, I gathered all my laundry, sorted it, and started a load in the washer. When I went to put that load in the dryer, I opened the door, and – I’m not out of clean bath towels after all.

That would never happen to Konnie because of the sheer number of people using her washer and dryer compared to mine.

I forget a load in the dryer, it stays there until the next time I do laundry. When Konnie forgets a load in the dryer, it stays there until someone else needs the dryer. There is always someone else who needs the machines. Around her house, there is often a line for who needs laundry done or to use the bathroom.

Cats have no use for bathrooms and laundry rooms, so no lines here. 😊

Happy writing everyone!  😊

A Matter of Perception by Konnie Enos

Have you ever noticed how the vehicles you see the most on the road are the same color or same make and model of your car? If you are thinking about young children, or have them in your life, you are more likely to notice them around you. The same goes for say, handicaps, or eye color. Really, anything close to you could be a focus for what you notice in the world. Your focus affects what you perceive the most.

For example, when I drive around in my car I happened to notice a lot of white cars or Chevrolet Cruzes. Guess what my car is. I’m also seeing children under the age of one in large numbers. Do you want to guess why?

Do you want to guess why we both notice twins?

Here are some facts.

The only multiple births in our area the week we were born were the two of us. When we were in high school and the local paper wanted to do a story on twins, there were only two sets in our high school and a total of four in the two local high schools. (The one set in our high school were fraternal, boy and girl set.)

We’ve been in the newspaper an additional time because we’re at least the fifth generation straight in our mother’s family who were twins.  

One time a stranger in the park where we were holding our Great Grandfather’s family reunion thought it was a twin convention. (One, this is our father’s side of the family. Two, I wasn’t even there. Bonnie was though.) We have a family picture, taken by our father, with at least four sets of identical twins in it. Only one set is boys. Three sets were dad’s cousins. The youngest set was Bonnie and me.

The last large reunion (Great, Great Grandpa’s family) I went to I counted at least half a dozen sets in attendance and knew of at least that many more not there or not both of them were there, us included, Bonnie wasn’t there.

You can see why we notice twins, all the time.

That’s why I noticed the senior lady pushing her double in a wheelchair when I was out shopping. That’s why I regularly spot twins when I’m out, usually kids with their parents. I think the senior ladies are the only time I’ve spotted adult twins. However, I have seen more than one video on Facebook showing a young child’s reaction to meeting their parent’s twin. (I so which we had videos of such events in our life.)

I’ve even noticed when people I know had twin grandchildren.

Recently a co-worker and I were talking about multiples. He has multiple sets in his family tree, though in his family it skipped a generation. He was, like so many people, assuming that old wives' tale was true. (Obviously not if you look at our family tree.)

He mentioned all the sets in his family. I believe it was three sets.

Without even knowing all the twins in my family by name, I can come up with that many in one generation on dad’s side of the family, and Bonnie and I are the fifth generation on our mom’s side.

I only mentioned to him that I was a twin too.

He commented that twins are becoming more and more common.

Yes, they are. Now if someone wanted to do an article on twins they could find more than four in two high schools. Look it up. New Trier High School in Winnetka, Illinois has a graduating 2020 class with 44 sets of twins and 1 set of triplets. (twin article)

There are more multiples in the world today. At least one reason for it is fertility treatments. Another reason is health care. I’m sure there are a number of twins today who would not have survived birth 50 years ago. I’m also sure that 50 years ago it was far more common for mothers to lose one baby and still be pregnant. Today they are more likely to be able to save both babies.

Therefore, there are more multiples today than there were even 30 years ago. However, it’s also true having multiples in your family is going to focus you on noticing them more than someone else might.

I see them everywhere and just have to smile when I do.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Identical Twin Issues By Bonnie Le Hamilton

I know I wrote a post several years ago about an incident where I greeted one of our uncles at a time and place Konnie couldn’t have been and he called me Konnie. I still clearly remember glaring at him and saying, “What did you call me?”

Well that happened long before Tom died, so its been years since I’ve been mistaken for Konnie.

There was a more recent experience where an old friend from high school spotted me and asked me if I was Bonnie or Konnie. So not quite the same thing.

And I certainly thought since Konnie lives so far away, that such incidents would be few and far between and only happen around people who know both of us, like say an uncle or an old classmate. I never once considered it would happen where I am living now, even though Konnie has been to visit me here, but it has now happened.

The set up starts with the fact that we had a visitor in Relief Society from another ward who happens to be named Connie. This sister knew several members of our ward including the teacher.

At one point, Connie made a comment and I raised my hand to make a comment too. Once Connie was done speaking, the teacher turned to me and said, “You had a comment, Connie?”

I stared at her, way too stunned for a second, and I almost said, “Konnie isn’t here.” But since Connie and Konnie are pronounced the same, and there was a Connie in the room, I simply said, “Um, I’m Bonnie.”

She apologized and well, I couldn’t help it, I said, “But my twin isn’t even here!”

Everyone laughed and we got on with the lesson, but I’m still stunned by it.

Yeah, she has met Konnie. Her and her mom usually sit right in front of where I sit in the chapel. And Konnie was here for a visit way back in September. I just didn’t expect someone who barely knew Konnie existed to call me Konnie!

It also illustrates what it's like to be a mirror twin, at least on one level.

Very few people can tell us apart.

And that isn’t limited to people who don’t know us well, since, after all, our uncle has known us our entire lives. The same could be said for our father, who always had trouble telling us apart until the day he died.

The last time I spoke to him on the phone, he didn’t realize which of his twins he was talking to until I mentioned Tom. That’s right, at the end of his life, he was telling us apart by our husband. You absolutely can’t confuse Tom and Jerry.

(And for all those who used to watch the old Tom & Jerry cartoons, I promise the analogy fits.)

But while some people who have known us our entire lives have trouble telling us apart others with much shorter association with us have no trouble telling us apart. Starting with our stepmother, who never seemed to have a problem.

But as I sit here thinking about every time I’ve been mistaken for Konnie, I remember something that happened clear back in 9^th grade. Maybe I’ve mentioned it before.

The time when I was looking for Konnie and a friend saw me and said something about me changing fast. I looked her right in the eye and said, “Wrong one. And where did you see her last?”

It took her a second to remember, but she did and I eventually found Konnie.

Anyway, that is life as an identical twin in a nutshell. Very few people can tell you apart.

Which explains the incident back in our high school marriage and family class where we told the teacher we couldn’t decide what our top priority for a future husband was. It was either they could tell us apart or were members of our church.

She said, “Well, considering how religious you two are, I’d said a member of your church.”

We glanced at each other than faced her and in unison said, “You’re not a twin.”

And I promise only an identical twin can understand the need to have people around them who can tell the difference between them and their twin.

And I will always cherish the time when Tom walked up to Konnie for the very first time and said, “Hello, you must be Konnie. Where’s Bonnie?”

But equally nice is the first time Jerry ever set eyes on me. He walked into his own living room and saw me sitting on his couch holding his infant daughter and said, “Hello there, where’s my wife?”

And they are both members!

Happy writing everyone!

To Trope or Not To Trope by Konnie Enos

Because Bonnie and I are twins, we have been asked about whether or not we write twin characters. Personally, a few and generally secondary characters. I don’t usually write twin characters because there is a basic flaw in portraying them.

You see there are few writers who would understand how to show two siblings are twins  without coming right out and telling that detail of their birth. I also have read very few books where the twins weren’t identical because it is the easiest trope to understand and write.

You’ve all read/seen them.

So totally alike no one, not even their own family members can tell them apart. (This is bogus by the way.)

So totally alike they have all the same likes and dislikes, dress alike, same hobbies, everything the same. (This is creepy and equally bogus.)

Or the worst one yet, they look exactly alike but one is super good and one is practically the devil incarnate. (Seriously, this is not what is meant by mirror opposites, believe me.)

Even so, these tropes are so pervasive it is not only difficult to get away from them, it is nearly impossible to convince some people this isn’t what twins are really like.

Because of this, for years I didn’t even attempt to write twins as main characters. A few secondary ones, but no main ones. I couldn’t stand drawing them as the caricatures people expect.

Then when I started writing my sci-fi two of my POV characters are twins, identical even.

I didn’t want to write them to be one of these tropes because I know that’s just not how we are.

So I wrote twins who look alike, if you don’t know them well and can’t see the differences. Twins who have a ton of different likes and aren’t exactly the same personality. Twins who are both good guys who just happen to have a brother who looks a lot like them and has the same birthday.

Easy, writing basic against the trope stuff.

I was well into my story before Bonnie pointed out I could do better. I re-read their scenes. I agreed. Then we brainstormed. What could I write to show their twinness?

We discussed the unique things we do and have done then I found ways to show these kind of things in my story. Things singletons don’t experience and probably couldn’t understand, unless they managed to find a well-crafted description.

While working on it I realized creating twin characters without relying on tropes and making them real to life twins, was not easy. And I’m a twin.

As I’m thinking about this I’m wondering if my singleton characters are more trope than real life since so many singleton writers rely on tropes to portray twins.

It’s really just a frame of reference question.

Can writers create real to life characters outside of their frame of reference?

If they are heterosexual and they create real life LBGTQ characters? If they are able bodied/healthy can they create real life disabled/health challenged characters?

Since I’ve actually only written a few twin characters, most of mine are singletons, so are they believable?

If you are writing outside your frame of reference, what kind of research do you do so you can get the character right?

That’s what I’m thinking about today, and I’d love to hear your answers.

In the meantime:

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.