Of Old Age and New Experiences by Konnie Enos

 

I have spent the last year with tech issues. One was my laptop. I liked my laptop, but Royce didn’t because it would randomly have glitches that he’d have to fix for me. The last one is when it stopped charging altogether. Laptops are useless without power. They also cost a few hundred dollars. Since we can’t afford to replace it, I’m stuck sharing with all the men in this household. Fortunately, they don’t use it very often.

Another issue was my tablet, which was old enough that any charge only lasted a few hours. Having to charge it two and three times a day got old. And my phone, even older, was only slightly better. Royce wanted me to replace them and recently insisted he was going to go pick me up a new tablet. Which he did go to do.

While at the store picking out a new tablet for me, he called me.

I kid you not, my phone glitched so bad it would not let me answer the phone! After several attempts including shutting my phone off and restarting it twice, I finally used Jerry’s phone to call him. When he answered the phone, thinking it was his dad, I was ranting and raving about my dumb phone glitching.

Without replying to me at all, and as calm as could be, he addressed the salesperson. “She’d like a new phone too.”

It stretched out the transaction a bit but now I have a new tablet and a new phone.

The tablet is a newer version of my old one, so the navigation and stuff are similar. Learning how to use it has been easy. On the plus side, it responds every time. My old one had developed a zone that only responded when it felt like it.

Now my phone is a completely different issue. It’s a different brand than I’ve ever had before. I am adjusting to it, but the first few days I had to ask Royce to yet again explain how to do something simple, like log onto my phone.

Thankfully, I’m not so old that I can’t retain new information and learn new things. I’m getting along just fine with my new technology now.

In other news, sometime in November I was conversing with my Voc Rehab counselor and mentioned that I no longer have a car and would have issues getting to job interviews or work because my mobility makes taking the regular bus system impossible. She suggested I apply for paratransit.

I consented but was unsure they’d allow me to use that system.

Yes, I have some mobility issues. But I can still walk. My issue with the bus system is getting to the bus stops and standing around waiting for them. I did put in the application, and they did ask me about what my mobility issues were. They also told me that after I submitted it, they’d do a review and require me to come in for a mobility assessment. The entire process was supposed to take at least a month if not two.

I mailed it just before Christmas. The instructions were to call back in seven days. Due to the holidays, I spaced it until after New Year’s. As soon as businesses were open again after the holidays, I called them back. It stunned me when I found out they approved me.

Okay. I have doctor’s appointments this month. Let’s see how things work if it works.

I went to try to set up an appointment. First obstacle. They will only set up transit three days in advance. So, I waited a few days. When I went to set things up it was easy, but I learned there was a charge for it. I have no cash and no budget for all the trips I’d need for my appointments.

While I was quickly calculating how much I’d need to cover all those trips, I started reading everything I could find on the site about paratransit. Especially how to pay for it. In that process, I stumbled upon the information that Medicaid covered paratransit rides for medical appointments.

I made a call. Talked to a guy. He confirmed I was in the system and eligible for rides to medical appointments. I set up the transportation I needed for my first appointment this month, which was yesterday.

So, for the first time in my life, I used the paratransit system. While I was sitting on the bus heading to my appointment, I realized I not only had mobility issues, but I’m a senior citizen, even if I don’t feel or look it.

Mostly, I’m just thankful I can make my appointments without stressing over finding a ride to them.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

2023 Recap by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

A new year has begun and here’s hoping it goes better than ’23 did.

Just for a recap, I ended up in the hospital twice with septic arthritis. Both times I was on intravenous antibiotics and no work for a couple of weeks each. Not good for my finances. And I did ask for help, except it wasn’t enough when my old landlord raised my rent and put the building up for sale.

Here I was trying to figure out how I was going to pay for the increased rent, and hoping the new owner didn’t raise it more when I started having major plumbing issues and I couldn’t get a hold of the landlord (he wasn’t answering his phone, and he didn’t have voice mail set up) so I contacted the prospective buyer.

They got a hold of my old landlord and told him to fix it, then called me to ask if he had done it. He hadn’t. The prospective buyer backed out of the sale just a few days before it was supposed to go through.

My old landlord blamed me for contacting the prospective buyer. However, I must point out that they didn’t step out until after my old landlord didn’t fix the plumbing. But as he considered it my fault, he threatened to evict me. Thankfully, a friend of mine told me he legally couldn’t evict me while my rent was current.

Now to just get the plumbing fixed.

My friends rallied around me and tried to help, they did the best they could, but I needed a professional. By this time, my old landlord refused to talk to me and hung up on any of my friends who tried to talk to him.

Then another prospective buyer came on the scene. As this guy lives in Utah, and his brother was right here in Pocatello, he asked his brother to do a sight visit. Which made for an interesting experience. At the time, the only occupied apartments were #1, #5, and #6, and all three of us ladies are members, so we were taken aback when the local mission president and his wife came to inspect the place.

Mind you, my apartment was not legally habitable. The mission president asked me if I had help and I told him I did. I promise things would have been worse without the help of my friends.

          He was so worried about me that he called the stake president to make sure my ministering brothers knew of my situation. The stake president called me to find out if I even knew who that was.

The answer is yes, and he was indeed on the list of friends I’d mentioned to the mission president who was trying to help me, I just never said he was my ministering brother.

          And the next day the realtor for my old landlord showed up with a plumber who started on the repairs. By the time the sale finally went through, my place was up and running again! And better yet we have a new landlord that actually responds on the same day to repairs. As in, within the hour. And, it turned out that since I hadn’t signed a new lease with the new lease amount, my rent reverted back to three or four years ago. NICE!

But all that solved the rent problem, but it didn’t really help me all that much, since I have put one or both of my knees out on several occasions. I couldn’t walk; getting to work was out of the question.

One of those days was the first Monday in December. I was actually getting ready for work when I turned wrong, and I couldn’t make it to work. Tuesday, I decided to go out a little early, so I had time to clear my windows. I was in the middle of trying to do that job when my slick, steep driveway conspired against me, and I landed hard.

I missed all that week and part of the next because I couldn’t sit up. I couldn’t sit, period. And I can’t drive or work lying on my side.

Yeah, I missed most of December between falling hard on my seat and the office being closed for more days than I care to count.

And last Wednesday I was going to go to work, right up until I woke up unable to walk. Thanks to my restless legs, I put my knee out in my sleep!

Then on Thursday, I woke up with a head cold.

So much for December, now the new year has begun and I still haven’t made it back to work since the Thursday before Christmas.

Anyway, happy writing everyone! And happy New Year!

Reflections by Konnie Enos

I’m sitting here reflecting on all that has transpired this year as it comes to a close. And my family has been pretty battered by it.

The oldest of Jerry’s brothers passed on and doctors told the youngest of his sisters that her days were numbered. She’s on borrowed time now. We also had three of our pets cross over the Rainbow Bridge. We still have dogs in the house, but they are all seniors. Two of them are 14, so the prospect of losing another one is ever-present.

Thankfully, we have had no major appliances go out this year. (I think we had enough of that in the previous couple of years.) We did, however, lose our car and have some computers die. We went from everyone in the house having their own laptop to four of the five of us sharing one. I was not at all happy when I was included in that number. Considering the age of my phone and tablet, and the fact neither one of them holds a charge for long, I have been planning to replace both all year. You know, just as soon as I could afford it. My laptop was the newest of the three and still worked great.

Royce would disagree with me because it had weird glitzes regularly, but it suddenly losing all ability to charge was unexpected. It might be a repairable issue, but I can’t afford that any more than I can be replacing the phone and tablet.

I suppose it is a plus that the guys in my family do have other tech and don’t get on this computer very often. There has yet to be any conflict when two or more of us needed the laptop at the same time. This, thankfully, means that I can still track our finances and write. Though, predictably, I’m yet again experiencing writer’s block. I’ve had no new ideas for stories nor felt like editing what I do have.

We have had some good things happen this year. The biggest one is that Tony not only found a job that pays well, but he seems to have found a vocation. I have long believed that not everyone needs a college degree because there are trades available with apprenticeships and on-the-job training. All with the plus of good pay. We’ve been telling our boys they should investigate trade schools.

Earlier this year Tony decided to join an electricians’ union. He is a general laborer now and has already applied for their apprenticeship. The last hurdle is an interview, but he’s made a good impression on a few of the journeymen he works with, and they’ve given him some good references. I don’t think it’s going to be a problem for him.

I will say that he is excited about the pay and benefits, but he also enjoys the work. It helps that the work isn’t monotonous. All the other jobs he had were doing the same things day in and day out. Another benefit is he can always go to the union hall and get another position for any reason.

Finally, my health has been lacking, especially in the last few months. I’ve been sick, or at least under the weather, about every couple of weeks for months now. Then this month it’s been the whole month.

Our family was hit with Covid which shut down most outside activity for a couple of weeks. We didn’t even attempt our weekly shopping trip. Then, par for the course, I got a secondary bacterial infection. And if that wasn’t enough, just as I was getting over both of those, I started experiencing yet another major health issue. As in getting an immediate appointment with my doctor.

I’m still in the “let’s run some tests” stage, but my doctor did say there were only two possible causes for my issue. Both would require surgery. In fact, the same surgery could solve both problems.

If that weren’t enough, Melinda is also facing a medical issue. She’s tried a couple of treatments already but at this point, it looks like she too will need surgery in the next few months.

I am sitting here hoping this next year is better for all of us.

I’m hoping Royce and Melinda find jobs or the means to complete their education. I’d like to find even a part-time job. Mostly because Jerry’s fixed income is not keeping up with inflation.

We’ve also discussed getting more pets. My big concern is that Xavier won’t like being the only dog in the house. Not that I expect Gunner or Ivan to die, but they are 14, and there is still the possibility of Melinda moving out.

Anyway, I hope 2024 is a better year for us.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Autism And Me by Bonnie Le Hamilton

 

This last week my niece, Claire, received the official diagnosis she is on the Spectrum. This has been quite a journey for our family.

I can’t remember how long ago it was, a couple of years at least, if not more, but Claire sent her mother (Konnie) an article about adult women who are on the spectrum. Claire sent it to Konnie because she felt the article described herself and she wanted her mother’s opinion. Konnie read the article and found more that described me than it did Claire.

This is not to say that it didn’t describe Claire, it’s just that I do more of the things it listed.

Within a couple of months of reading that article, I went to a psychiatrist who asked me a ton of questions, noted my answers, and sure enough I am on the Spectrum.

Claire had a harder time finding someone who would evaluate her.

Anyway, each time I read more about adult women who have gone undiagnosed and or unrecognized as being on the spectrum, I find something I did or still do.

I have previously mentioned how my mother made excuses for me not looking people in the eye, and my stepmother yelled at me for playing with my hair while I was studying, but I’ve done some other things that were obvious signs.

I recently came across this meme:

Me: I’m Autistic.

My parents: There were no signs.

Me as a child:

n  Eats food in order (in my case my least favorite food to my most favorite food)

n  Wouldn’t wear certain fabrics (or in my case hats)

n  Food aversions (absolutely!)

n  Lining up toys (I don’t recall doing this one)

n  Organizing things in order (I am a little OCD)

n  Extreme obsessions

n  Violent meltdowns (YIP!)

n  Huge imagination (Duh)

n  Couldn’t express feelings (true)

n  Kept getting in trouble for being rude (big time)

n  Scared of social situations

n  Particularly good at problem solving puzzles but not knowing simple things like the meaning of words (I didn’t have this problem, not with Dictionary for a big sister)

n  Repeating sounds or sayings I hear from other people or the TV.

n  Verbally stimming

n  Physically stimming

n  fidgeting

I didn’t do all of these, but I did quite a few. I also have to point out that both of my parents were dead long before Claire read that article, so they never had a chance to say there were no signs, but I think they might have.

Perhaps, I should ask my stepmother her opinion.

Then again, maybe not. I read one meme that stated that Autism is highly genetic. Then it went on to say there is a huge flaw in the diagnosis process where parents are expected to know if there is anything “different” about their child, but well, how are they to know when its likely their whole family is on the spectrum?

Of course, when I was growing up Autism effected only white boys, period, and the big one was that they were nonverbal. Not even the pros of that era would have considered me as being on the spectrum.

I am white, but very much female, and I was never nonverbal. Konnie and I did use “twin speak” when we were little, which is why we took speech therapy in our early years of grade school. And I have mentioned this before. I was never nonverbal; We were just slow to speak in a language the adults around us understood.

This is actually a common problem with twins, particularly identical twins.

But aside from all that, reading up on it, I have found some other things I did or still do that place me on the spectrum.

We can start with scratching and or picking at scabs. Yes, that’s on the list.

Another one is constantly rehearsing conversations or interactions.

May often, fidget, chew, tap, or do other repetitive behaviors.

May struggle with situations that are unfamiliar (absolutely true!)

May chew, rub, or tap certain materials obsessively.

I could go on; the list is pretty long.

What I find most interesting is that on the top of list of “bizarre neurodivergence things” is something called “nesting.” On the spectrum, “Nesting” is having a certain spot, and having certain things nearby to that spot at all times.

You can ask Konnie, I do that.
Nobody, and I mean nobody has any trouble figuring out where I sit in my living room, even if I’m not sitting at the moment.

By the way, I also tend to mimic people in order to blend in. I’ve caught myself doing it a time or two.

Anyway, happy writing everyone! And Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Of Gifts and Birthdays by Konnie Enos

My oldest posted yesterday about the small number of gifts under her Christmas tree, and why they weren’t doing more. She mentioned what Christmas was like growing up, with the effort I put into gift-giving. Which got me thinking about what Christmas was like for me growing up.

Some years, we were lucky if there was anything under the tree or in our stockings. In others, it took us hours to open everything. The big difference was well, Momma couldn’t provide as much as Dad could. There were reasons for this, none of which was Dad being a deadbeat dad. He did all he could. It's just things were better financially the years we lived with him.

Anyway, I never wanted my kids to feel those lean years. I tried so hard.

I scrimped all year, so I’d have some money for gifts. Some years, that even worked. For other years, I pulled together scraps of cloth and yarn and made doll blankets for my girls. One year I put together a simple picture book with construction paper, printer paper, my rough drawings, and a poem I wrote. When I had money, I spent most of it at thrift stores. And I found charities, even Toys for Tots, to sign up for, just to make sure they had something.

One year, I’d managed to sign up for Toys for Tots, made them something (the book), and saved some money for Christmas. On top of Toys for Tots giving us tons, our congregation provided us with a bunch too. It was probably our biggest Christmas.

I remember that year, I was told I could only sign up the kids I already had for Toys for Tots, not the one I was expecting near Christmas. When it came time to pick up what they had for us, my baby was a few days old. They let me pick up a couple of small things for him too because he’d been born a couple of weeks earlier than expected.

Even after our finances became, well, steady, and putting money aside each month for gifts was possible, we’d frequently run into unplanned financial strains, like car repairs. Or replacing broken appliances. The help I sought and some that just found us was always a blessing.

One thing I can say is that my methods of gift-giving have changed over the years. One, I no longer look for charities to help. My kids are adults now, and we have a steady income so I can usually save enough for Christmas. (Usually, baring unforeseen events like replacing appliances or major repairs on expensive items, like cars, or central air conditioning systems.)

There are other changes too.

I used to aim to spend the same amount on everyone. This could end up with one person getting a big stack of less expensive gifts and another getting only one or two more expensive ones.

Then I tried spreading the money out over three or four gifts each. This didn’t allow for nicer gifts but at least everyone was getting the same number. This method also made it difficult to find enough ideas for gifts for everyone.

Then I found the suggestion to get each person exactly three gifts, something they could use (such as clothes), something to read (yes, a book), and something fun.

I tried it for one year. Two family members (who shall remain nameless) complained about the books (for different reasons). I seem to recall one or two (or maybe three) objecting to my choice of useful things (the clothes).

I dropped that idea quickly.

Now I aim for one or two gifts each and try to find things the recipient will appreciate. (And that can be hard with the guys in our family.) To keep in mind my limited funds, I have a price range for each gift. Some I might go over a bit, but others I go under, so I don’t end up not having enough gifts for everyone.

Anyway, we aren’t taking several hours just opening gifts. Hopefully, everyone is getting things they like. (No more complaints.) And on the plus side, I don’t have to spend days, or all night on Christmas Eve, wrapping gifts. This year I finished shopping and had wrapped all but the pet gifts, before Thanksgiving, which is my goal. I can spend December focusing on other things. Like the reason we celebrate Christmas.

I didn’t know I’d be spending this month isolating with covid but at least I don’t have to worry about what I still need to do for Christmas while I’m recuperating. And I’m still remembering that Anthony will be 24 tomorrow.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.

Car Trouble and Other Accidents

 

Well, National Novel Writers Month is over, and I’m glad I managed to reach 50k so early in the month this time because I didn’t get much beyond that thanks to life getting in the way, and this last week winter got in the way too.

Last Tuesday, while Konnie was probably fretting about her post for the following day, I hurried outside to scrape the ice off my car windows, and only got three windows before I slipped on the frozen over snow and landed hard on my derriere. I guess I should count myself lucky that I have so much natural padding that I only bruised my rear, rather than breaking anything.

The only thing is I ended up spending the week unable to sit up without a bunch of pillows under me. Good thing I have so many. However, it wasn’t good that I couldn’t manage work. Five hours sitting on my bruised behind was bad enough yesterday. Last week was impossible.

And that only added to my problems.

You see, the week before, I got Thanksgiving off (I usually don’t work Fridays, so I had that off too) but a storm came through Wednesday night. Thanksgiving I was socked in by fog. I called my sister-in-law and we agreed to postpone it until Saturday.

Come Saturday the first thing I had to deal with was all the frozen snow on my car. I managed to get all the windows except the windshield, and I couldn’t budge any of it. I ended up getting my very nice neighbor to come out and scrap my window and while he did that, I tried to start my car.

Tried being the operative word. My battery was dead. And being broke I couldn’t call a service to jump me. I called my friend, whose husband has helped me before with my car.

The problem was, he wasn’t home, and had her car. By the end of the day my car was running again but we had already postponed it until Sunday.

We did manage to get together then, and I was followed home by a man for the first time in my life. 

My cousin, Steve, knowing all the car troubles I’ve had lately, insisted on making sure I got home safely, which was actually nice of him.

Then Monday happened. I got up in time for work and hurrying around to get dressed, when I turned wrong, and put my knee out, again. Yeah, I didn’t make it work on Monday last week, then I took my spectacular spill on Tuesday trying to get work on time.

That was a great week. Here I am barely making ends meet and I lost a whole week of work, which didn’t do me any good. By Sunday I was so anxious about my finances that I had trouble sleeping. Then, when I finally did get to sleep, I slept right through my alarm and woke up, still groggy, only to discover I was late for work! As in, I should have already been there. And I was barely awake enough to realize I had to call in.

It was one in the afternoon before I was able to put two coherent thoughts together beyond that. Yeah, it was not a good start to a new week.

And then I woke up yesterday feeling a little sick to my stomach, and I thought I might have to call in again, which I didn’t want to do not just because of the money but because I felt they were getting tired of my excuses, no matter how valid they were.

Thankfully, after getting something to eat, I was able to get out the door. I’d gone out early thinking I might have to at least scrape windows, but a warm front had come in. Temps were up in the fifties.

And yes, Konnie probably thinks that fifty is cold because she’s gotten so used to warmer climates first in coastal Washington and Oregon now in Las Vegas.

The last time I visited her, I had to borrow one of her jackets because my coat was too heavy for the weather, but there was enough of a breeze I needed something. I do recall I borrowed her unlined windbreak; she was using her fleece-lined jacket.

I also recall her friends at church bundled up in parkas and complaining about how cold it was. Remember, I was wearing my sister’s windbreaker not my winter coat, and they were complaining about it being freezing outside.

Right about now, I wish I could move south for the winter. There is no way I would stay there for the summer, too warm! But it would be nice if I could go for the winter.

Anyway, happy writing everyone!

Of Decorations, Food, Family, and Celebrations

 Currently, my mind is on Christmas.

The few presents I have left to wrap, and I’m considering not wrapping them. What food and treats we will need for our celebrations. Then there is the decorating.

Though I’m not sure why the food and decorations are such a big part of nearly all our celebrations. I mean you can enjoy the holidays without indulging in extravagant meals or eating sweets. But it seems we tend to do both.

Anyway, yesterday I was talking to Melinda about our plans for the holiday season. First, what meal we will prepare so we can start planning for it. I fail to see why we must have two such large meals only a month apart. I’m all for making a smaller, simpler meal especially to give some relief to our chief cook (Melinda). She, however, wants a nice meal and I suppose since she is cooking it, it’s her choice.

Then we discussed what treats we would need for the holiday. Pies and cakes seem to be enough sweets to celebrate Thanksgiving, but other holidays require candy for some reason. And there are both traditional (candy canes) and family preferences to consider.

After that, we moved to decorating the house.

I have heard of people who decorate for every holiday and season, but I’ve never done that. Probably because my mother (and stepmother for that matter) never bothered to decorate for any other event.

I like making my house all festive for the season.

The nice big tree in the corner covered in baubles, memories, and lights with brightly wrapped packages underneath. The wreath on the door and lights trimming the exterior of the house. And further greens and lights decorate surfaces within the house.

Then there are the displays.

Christmas villages. Santa and his reindeer. Mistletoe. And, of course, the nativities.

It takes a lot of effort to put out the displays of the season, but I like the result and how it makes a home look and feel. So, Melinda and I discussed what we could do to decorate.

I lost my wreath a few years ago so we talked about getting a new one and ways to prevent it from disappearing from our door. Thankfully we now have a doorbell camera so it might deter someone from stealing. However, that isn’t going to stop the wind from blowing it away, which is what I suspect happened to mine. So, we talked about what we could use to tie the wreath to the door hanger.

Then we talked about our tree, or rather trees, and where we would put it.

Normally we have a six-foot tree we put in the corner of the living room. We currently do not have access to that corner because we have storage there. I suppose the mess in our garage and the clutter elsewhere in our house is the price you pay for marrying a packrat and settling down for nearly two decades in one place.

So, all we have room to put up is our two-foot tree and our few stockings. This year we won’t have a wall of stockings with nearly twenty of them. There are a lot fewer people, and furry family members here now. RIP Reeses, Mabel, and Tiger. Wishing Clarissa and her family could visit again, and that Tina and Bonnie would be able to come.

I might do bodily harm to Tony if he doesn’t come home for the holiday. He won’t be working those days and it’s not like he can’t afford to travel that far. He’s earning good money and it’s only the other side of the state, not two states or more away. Or like Tina, clear across the country.

But I think what I miss most about the holiday is putting out my nativity and Christmas village. I even have a train to go with it now. What I don’t have is room to display them.

Oh, the nativity itself isn’t super huge. It could be put on something as small as a TV tray. So, maybe I could find a corner for it. But I’ve always put them side by side and it feels wrong not to do both. That and I want to see my Christmas village set up since I’ve added pieces to it since the last time I could. My nativity set hasn’t changed in the over thirty years I’ve had it.

I have looked at ways and means to set up a Christmas village without taking up a lot of space but no matter how you go about it, it still needs some space. It’s the space we don’t have.

And finally, the reason we celebrate Christmas. So maybe I do need to find a place for that nativity.

Smile. Make the day a brighter day.